I am having a horrible time with my wife ( the mother of my 3 kids) she is lazy, a liar and steals prescription medication from my son who needs it desperately. She goes off the deep end and yells, screams, and says horrible things while the kids are standing right there. She really isnt a bad person but i know if i finally get smart and leave she will try her best to take my kids away. Now for the past year i have been a stay at home dad and turned the kids around completely, When she was home the kids were stunted in all aspects of life. How can i end this nicely or how do i take legal action?

at a certain age kids can request to stay with dad- consult a divorce attorney- alimony depends on how long you were married to her- different laws in every state

Go a see a lawyer to find out your rights.
You need evidence/proof she is doing this.
Eg. Video, pictures and paperwork like that.
You need this to stand up in court. Your word is not enough.
Make copies and keep the originals in a safe place.

Have you thought about counseling for you both.
You have 3 kids so obviously you had something special at one time.

I'm not saying counseling or anything else will work, but it might be worth a shot before you take the drastic action of seeing a lawyer.

Whatever you decide I hope it goes well for you all, you, her and the kids.

awwww..damn

good advice already given darling
take care of those babies
take care of you

You have three kids that need a functioning Mom weather you stay together or not. Hysterical behavior, lazy, lying, and stealing medication is usually a symptom of something; first guess is and addiction of one kind or another but many of these symptoms are also symptoms of thyroid, diabetes, early menopause, even sleep apnea or other health/ mental (depression or bipolar) problems.

NOT to mention a grieving process related to your child's disability and being ousted from her role a primary caregiver. While it is easy to get children in line maybe they are not as happy as you think they are if she is resorting to screaming to get her point across. Does she even like her job or is she stuck in whatever she could get so you can be stay at home Daddy and no longer contribute as a breadwinner. If she makes the typical 80cents on the dollar she is probably working time and a half and still coming home and pitching in.

You don't say why you are now a stay at home Dad or if she had any say in the matter.

Or for that matter the kids. They maybe "submitting" out of fear of losing another parent.

Is she grieving your unemployment/ disability and doesn't know how to address it? Doesn't sound like either of you have any communication skills.

You don't seem to want to take any ownership of the situation that has clearly existed for some time. Maybe if you actually talked/listened to her before it got to the screaming stage you would have a better idea of the root issues here.

You can take legal action but do you really want the courts making the decisions about your family? They generally are very traditional and you can bet they will go with the parent that was the primary care giver the majority of the kids life if you can not PROVE she is unfit in and extreme, chronic , and ir-retractible way. Chances are good you will find yourself out on the street sleeping in your car or the Salvation Army mission with no income if you try to make and iffy case against your wife who seems to have stepped up and support the family. She can hire a live in Nanny for a lot less grief than a husband that is trolling on a dating site for a how to guide to get the kids and I am guessing the home she is threatening to put you out of.

That you have been off work a year AND "turned the kids around" but not Mom can/could be amplifying what ever the problem is. Are your friends and family on board with this major social role switch in your family or is your wife going through a cultural shift without support from anywhere? Is it her first year working after years of being out of work? Or was she really the bread winner all along? You can bet she is having a lot of stress either way.

I would recommend some type of intervention where both of you set down and problem assess together and actually come up with a better plan than what seems to be in the works. I seriously doubt you will like how this ends up.

I would do drugs too, if my man was a stay at home dad.

Personally I have never really understood why either parent allowed the other to set at home on their behind and not work at least part time to contribute to the family financial responsibilities as soon as possible after child birth.

I did and my children grew up just fine.

I don't buy the garbage that disability is and excuse not to work either. Millions of people with disabilities work. I did.

My feeling is both sexes/parents need to work and set that precedent/expectation for children of both genders. AND hear me loud and clear that BOTH Parents PARENT. None of this Oh I earn the pay check so you are the house slave and sole parent to do all the dirty work of parenting and one just comes home and lays a check on the table and heads to the play room. It takes TWO to make babies and it takes Two to SUPPORT and PARENT them.

More often than not if you are getting little or no support from the co-parent it is because you are hyper critical and undermine their parenting and home-making and employment decisions.

Is your spouse going to agree with your every decision and do it your way or accept the highway? Not likely. At least not with out a major fight. So the solution is to find a meeting or the minds and work as partners.

Sensible advice, wish I had received this some 20 years ago.

Start by talking to a lawyer?

And being married, you should probably not be looking for intimate encounters on a dating site....just sayin'.

I sooooooooooh feel sorry for the kids in this situation.

I've just gotten out of a similar situation. Their father was doing close to the same things...my main concern was that he was going to try and get custody of my kids...so far he hasn't tried anything like that...but it's a scary thought...the court system sucks!!!
I can tell you that your doing the right thing...iit's not going to be easy...but in the end your going to be happier and if she's doing all these things then you will get custody...yes you'll need proof!!! A good way to get the proof you need is to download a conversation recorder on your phone....you can pick what phone numbers get recorded and if you don't want certain calls recorded you can put them on the no record list!!! Stay strong and you will get through this!!! Your a great dad for taking control of the situation and keeping them safe. Xxoo

Sounds like she is bi-polar and needs to see a psychiatrist.
Unfortunately most with bi-polar disorder don't think they have a problem and won't see a doctor.
Not sure if there is a way to end it "nicely" so lawyer up and good luck!