Topic: What works 4 You Cyber or In Person Dating?
2Fly4Wings38's photo
Tue 12/08/15 08:01 AM
Edited by 2Fly4Wings38 on Tue 12/08/15 08:04 AM
Good Morning my real torch barriers of M2, I'm take this one which many may feel like a common topic but I'm curious about what you think about "The Dating World". To All my Old Schoolers who grew up in the 70's & 80's remember when you was interested in a person you would go courting , then you date, usually back then you go to a movie, go out for pizza, during dinner you would exchange interests and getting to know each other. By the end of the night you knew if there will be another date. This was the time before the cyber world with date sites or Skype. Another scenario back then you borrow your dad's car and if you live in New York City you can relate to Taking your Date to Coney Island on the pier for hotdogs and sodas and you hold hands to show the world he or she with me, you may say "I like he or she and if i play my cards right we be a union soon enough." Now Nostalgia memories of yesterday in dating is it still relevant or its no longer needed due to internet now. Now the internet world courting is a little more different. scenario # 2 okay you at work on your jobs desktop and you on a date site, you seem to be connection with someone you may want to get to know more of. you both note back in fourth and now you ready to exchange numbers and personal email. from that point on you ready to meet. maybe it works out, maybe it don't. some may say the web is easier because you have to really see what a person coming from without the awkward shyness sometimes comes along with in person dating. Others say in person dating is better because if you the visual type you want to see and talk in person with out web distractions. So the question i have for you is which in your mind is more effective to you Cyber or In person Meetings? Let me know which works for you.....
we'll talk again soon

lady_red25's photo
Tue 12/08/15 09:13 AM
I love in person dating I hate cyber dating because that's where killers are or stockers ect

2Fly4Wings38's photo
Tue 12/08/15 10:26 AM
Lady_Red25
Oh my God.......That's hilarious. I'm a face to face kind of guy myself
plus it seems more realistic that way....feel me?

adivorcedone's photo
Tue 12/08/15 05:37 PM
Does not really matter. You exchange a few msgs on the site. A few phone calls, and then its on to a short meet and greet over a coffee...that will determine whether there is gonna be a first date or not...The sooner the meet and greet the better...
"The problem is we all think we have time"...

2Fly4Wings38's photo
Wed 12/09/15 07:56 AM
advorcedone

okay so you more versatile. that's okay, it works for you . i again like the in person dating meeting. over the net you have false characters that could glue any picture, words or even a sexual predator. not to say that can't happen in person i guess it comes down to trust huh?

SitkaRains's photo
Wed 12/09/15 11:35 AM
Honestly in person hands down.. Since I am in a LDR I am thankful for the cyber while we are a part.
Nothing compares to the real thing in person when I am with him.

mikey5360's photo
Wed 12/09/15 11:47 AM
In person obviously....
But I wouldn't have met my match if not for cyber...drinker

And the rest of my victims...pitchfork smokin

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 12/09/15 12:41 PM
Edited by PacificStar48 on Wed 12/09/15 01:18 PM
I believe your chances of meeting criminals in person is just about equal to meeting a criminal on line.

Criminals don't have their motives emblazoned in red letters on their forehead in either venue. You have to check people out and ask questions in either setting. Contrary to popular belief most criminals don't look like the boogie man. Many of them actually make a concerted effort to appear normal and desirable.

The advantage of meeting people on line you actually have a computer record to follow up for accuracy. You catch someone in a lie then you pretty much know what you are dealing with. And moving on is easy as blocking access. No dealing with emotional in person reactions pleasant or otherwise.

In person you have to observe much of the data and that is not as easy if you do not already know the person through other venues. People in person evade or out right lie and if you actually meet them you have to wonder if they have or will follow you into your private areas of life like employment, where you live, around your loved ones, worship, or even if you date others.

NOT things I normally want to risk telling a random someone I don't have a reasonable expectation I have anything in common with or have interest in. So MANY of the people I meet randomly I first vet on line. Many I do not make any effort to meet again.

Can people lie on line? Sure but then you can cross reference them with information sites. There is an astounding amount of public information available. Specifically information that makes a person who has "red flags" easy to identify. Someone does not want to own up to telling me their name I assume they are a scammer or a criminal after a few conversation which I expect them to also assume about me. Since I do not have such deficiencies my good name speaks for itself. When I then meet someone in person I then verify my name with and ID which is sadly when some people actually check out who I am. A foolish choice since just as many women are criminals as men but invariably men are greater risk takers.

Probably WHY so many men are ripped off for at least some amount of money or gifts. Even have the unpleasant experience of having drama meeting the less desirable people and want to flee dateing altogether.

ansie57's photo
Wed 12/09/15 01:32 PM
I like in person too..this is why after I talk to someone a few times and we don't live in the same city I want to Skype with them. See if the pictures are real that they put on here. hear the voice etc?
This is also new to me. When I was young men would ask me out you can see their body language they could see mine we knew we were interested in each other. On dating sites I just feel like I'm pursuing men if I write to them ,,,and I'm old-fashioned I want to be pursued.
How do you guys feel about that?

Rock's photo
Wed 12/09/15 03:11 PM
The concept of cyber, bores the living hell out of me.
Unless, of course, she and I are already 'acquainted' in person.

VioletTigress's photo
Wed 12/09/15 04:46 PM
Edited by VioletTigress on Wed 12/09/15 04:46 PM
Holy wall of text, Batman! Gives me a headache just looking at it. Anyway, I’d say definitely in person. I’m not looking to waste my time with penpals or chat buddies.

Frankk1950's photo
Wed 12/09/15 05:13 PM

Honestly in person hands down.. Since I am in a LDR I am thankful for the cyber while we are a part.
Nothing compares to the real thing in person when I am with him.


Thank God for LDR, said Pancho gingerly touching the tender spot on his rear end. :wink: drinker

panchovanilla's photo
Wed 12/09/15 06:17 PM


Honestly in person hands down.. Since I am in a LDR I am thankful for the cyber while we are a part.
Nothing compares to the real thing in person when I am with him.


Thank God for LDR, said Pancho gingerly touching the tender spot on his rear end. :wink: drinker

I don't heal and recuperate like I used to.ohwell

adivorcedone's photo
Wed 12/09/15 06:34 PM
Yes, I do understand that "in person dating is the best"...but to get to that stage, online dating comes into play.....otherwise, how else are you going to meet someone? We are all here, at least I am, to meet someone online and as fast as we can, to take the relationship off line and away from cyberspace. I am not talking about the people who have been on line for years and years....yes, there are some, you know who u are...lol...but this is their only hobby....so let them alone.

2Fly4Wings38's photo
Thu 12/10/15 08:42 AM
SitkaRains

awww....that's cute you met success in the cyber world....I really hope your marriage or relationship continues to grow with happiness....

2Fly4Wings38's photo
Thu 12/10/15 08:44 AM
To Mikey5360,

another happy relationship......I wish you much much success I'm intrigued you like it the old fashion meeting way!

mysticalview21's photo
Thu 12/10/15 09:04 AM
Op I have found if you meet someone in cyber and then want to meet ... that is cool... but since I am not really looking for a long distance relationship ... then if they do not want to meet me soon ... that is a red flag to me and start to not trust them ... and in person with out cyber is cool also ... I don't think I put a lot of effort in to trying to meet or date someone ... on or off ... I guess...

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 12/10/15 09:42 AM
As most sites I think there are a lot of people who are just socializing and posting as hobby.

Think there are quite a few that are actually in relationships of one kind, or another, and just keep their private life private.

Some are in confirmed relationships and both partners are aware.

Some actually announce to the world; more so their friends in the Mingle community, and that seems normal to me when a relation ship takes hold. Especially if you have friended people in the community and they are happy for you.

I don't want to pry into my Mingle land friends lives but I am always glad when I find out something is going their way. Kind of balances out the negative stuff that life just naturally brings. Which for most of us to land here was divorce or a death.

Sometimes it is a referral by a friend that the people here are interesting and the forum threads entertaining or informative. A fellow crafter recommendedd Mingle to me in the first place way back when it was Just Say Hi and I was planning a coast to coast move. Was a great way to stay in touch. I don't think that is that unusual. Especially since many in the forums at least are long time members.

Also since most reasonable people don't make a decision about relationships immediately that vague area of interested, but not confirmed, means that a lot of people "appear" single but are just not declared "taken". Or back on the market maybe after weeks, months , or years of "consideration" of a candidate. It is easy to slip into that comfortable dating but going no where space.

I do think there are a lot of people who really don't want to find someone even if they say they do. I don't know if that is so they can stay on site or just social pressure to say they are "looking". I do think there is a lot of people who say they are looking just to get friends/family off their back. Not sure why it is not ok to just be single and coast when you feel like it but seems like it is still to some degree socially taboo. I don't know if it would be admitting some kind of personal failure or just what but it should be ok to be single. Especially if you are happy and able to self sustain.

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 12/10/15 09:56 AM

I love in person dating I hate cyber dating because that's where killers are or stockers ect


I am not sure where you are drawing your cyber dates from but most people I know who cyber date are really very ordinary people. Most are working parents, with a limited social budget, they don't want to have friends or family fix them up but they are pretty normal over all. They are not the "beautiful" scammer profiles with ritzy professional jobs but usually they pay their bills, have a used car, many are homeowners or lived in the same neighborhood for years and if they are honest haven't been "laid" recently and are not looking to jump in the sack with just anyone. Most are smart enough not to trash their career playing around where they work. Many are not in mint condition physically and maybe lack the confidence to walk up to strangers and say "hey you want a date?" but they are looking for a nibble of mutual interest. A cyber "Hello" is just permission to be considered. Something the current culture does not really condone in public any more.

Do whackos exist? Yea but hey every family has a black sheep and if you depend on the small pool of people you actually know to draw from you could get a lot worse than what you find on line.

mikey5360's photo
Thu 12/10/15 11:31 AM

To Mikey5360,

another happy relationship......I wish you much much success I'm intrigued you like it the old fashion meeting way!

Well it has to happen that way eventually...
Meeting online is fine and pretty much normal these days...
But it is imperative to meet early in the relationship....
Our first meeting was 3 months after we met here....
And we had lots of fun dates...Our time was limited, she had to work still...
But one day we 3 dates.....another day a date that lasted all day...
This made our time fun and interesting...
We have also have Skype dates...with theme nights...hahaha