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| Topic: Man & Woman | |
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The friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to marriage or desire for marriage may be a life long experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered comradeship a permanent success
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I am not into threesomes, but a man and a woman cannot be just friends... Sex has to be involved... Just saying...
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adivorcedone: A man and a woman can be friends without sex!
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Edited by
Jimmy_roy
on
Thu 02/11/16 09:58 AM
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Well without actual sex yes man and woman can be friends but awkward moments will be there. There are many theories. level of attraction but then it all depends on people involved and around them. Human relationship is very complex
   And I missed mental stability..very important how happy the man & woman are in their other relationships |
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adivorcedone: A man and a woman can be friends without sex! newbeg66 is correct. Granted, it may be impossible for a man and woman to be friends without sex if the man thinks with his genitals. |
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but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Relationships are defined by the people. Relationships don't exist floating around looking for the "right" people to complete it. A man and a woman can be friends without sex! A man and woman can be friendly towards each other without sex. They can be friends, with purely friendly motives, only for a short period of time. Gender was created for a reason, though. When a man or woman chooses to spend enough time around someone of the opposite sex their underlying subconscious is being told he/she is consciously choosing the other to mate with. So over time the naturally occurring sex hormones are associated with that person. They can't help but look at each other with sexual desire. They can choose not to act upon it, believing they can do better, and actively choosing to try and bang someone else. Or they can ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist. Either way it leads to a lot of subconsciously driven behavior. More ribald, innuendo, or inappropriate jokes about sex. More physical closeness. Arm touching, smiling, back patting, hugging, sitting closer. At best people try to force the other into a labeled relationship that helps them deny sexual attraction. i.e. viewing each other like a sibling. If someone has ever said "she's like my sister" or "he's like a brother to me!" it means they've had sexual impulses, and still do, they've just created this relationship label in order to deny them and help them not act upon them. But their subconscious behavior continues to drive them towards sex with them. In many cases that leads to overcompensation and subconscious behavior. Things like more physical closeness like slapping them on the arm when they make a sexual comment. Or pushing the person far away, setting up weekly, monthly meetings at restaurants, something that provides a table, something physical to keep them apart, or connection via Facebook and social media, which allows feelings of extreme happiness, allowing a reward like a fat chick and chocolate "I worked out an hour yesterday, I only ate salads all week, I'm excited that I get to eat 6 bars of chocolate tomorrow!" Men and women can be "friends" but their subconscious behavior will always be driven by sex after they hit puberty. Their motives in continuing any "friends" relationship will always be based on sexual impulses. Which ultimately helps sabotage any future relationship with someone else. e.g. a girl is "just friends" with a guy. They have a close "friend" relationship. New dating material comes along. The "just friend" either "confesses" their true feelings, starts getting competitive for attention and affection, or backs off i.e. changes the "friend" relationship. If the "friend" backs off, it changes the woman. It changes how the woman sees the new guy. How she saw the new guy was based on who she was as a "just friend" with a guy, with having that underlying sexually based motivation. If she was "just friends" with someone of the same sex, different motivations, different relationship, wouldn't change how she saw the new guy. It's stupid to believe men and women can be "friends" without any kind of sexual undertones and motivation to the relationship. Men and women develop sexual feelings for their parents around puberty. It's why men and women in many cases choose a partner like their parents, or siblings. Or the exact opposite when past feelings went unrequited and there was some level of pain. Granted, it may be impossible for a man and woman to be friends without sex if the man thinks with his genitals. Everyone thinks with their genitals. A lot of your brain and body are set up to. Some people simply acknowledge it while others deny it and refuse responsibility for what is truly motivating them. You can't separate sex from mating/procreation. Gender exists for mating/procreation purposes. |
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ciretom: that is a lot of writing and reading. All I am saying is that I have many male friends for many years and neither one of us think about going to the next level. True friends!
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I think some men and women can be true friends WITHOUT benefits.
But; I do believe that both sides of the equation have to admit to and honor the fact that gender attraction exists; and not pit a persons against themselves by pretending it does not. I love my friends platonically but I know better than to dress seductively, caress, and just do things that are going to make our "bodies" over ride our brains. I think that is why I have such a tough time with our "modern" society not recognizing there is dating and courting and while the first is required, to have a really good match for the later, if you get the behavior that most would consider intimate enough to be considered courting into the equation before you even know if you like the person well enough to court you are sabotaging the friendship ever really developing, and missing out of being friends with someone who is ok but just does not ring your bell like is necessary for a lasting serious relationship. |
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Lots of examples of men and women having non sexual relationship..
Work relationships.. Brother and sister.. Mother and son Teacher and students. . Neighbors.. Not all men look at women as sexual objects not all women look at men as sexual objects... friendships are bonded over common interests.. a shared like or dislike for something |
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^^^
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but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Relationships are defined by the people. Relationships don't exist floating around looking for the "right" people to complete it. A man and a woman can be friends without sex! A man and woman can be friendly towards each other without sex. They can be friends, with purely friendly motives, only for a short period of time. Gender was created for a reason, though. When a man or woman chooses to spend enough time around someone of the opposite sex their underlying subconscious is being told he/she is consciously choosing the other to mate with. So over time the naturally occurring sex hormones are associated with that person. They can't help but look at each other with sexual desire. They can choose not to act upon it, believing they can do better, and actively choosing to try and bang someone else. Or they can ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist. Either way it leads to a lot of subconsciously driven behavior. More ribald, innuendo, or inappropriate jokes about sex. More physical closeness. Arm touching, smiling, back patting, hugging, sitting closer. At best people try to force the other into a labeled relationship that helps them deny sexual attraction. i.e. viewing each other like a sibling. If someone has ever said "she's like my sister" or "he's like a brother to me!" it means they've had sexual impulses, and still do, they've just created this relationship label in order to deny them and help them not act upon them. But their subconscious behavior continues to drive them towards sex with them. In many cases that leads to overcompensation and subconscious behavior. Things like more physical closeness like slapping them on the arm when they make a sexual comment. Or pushing the person far away, setting up weekly, monthly meetings at restaurants, something that provides a table, something physical to keep them apart, or connection via Facebook and social media, which allows feelings of extreme happiness, allowing a reward like a fat chick and chocolate "I worked out an hour yesterday, I only ate salads all week, I'm excited that I get to eat 6 bars of chocolate tomorrow!" Men and women can be "friends" but their subconscious behavior will always be driven by sex after they hit puberty. Their motives in continuing any "friends" relationship will always be based on sexual impulses. Which ultimately helps sabotage any future relationship with someone else. e.g. a girl is "just friends" with a guy. They have a close "friend" relationship. New dating material comes along. The "just friend" either "confesses" their true feelings, starts getting competitive for attention and affection, or backs off i.e. changes the "friend" relationship. If the "friend" backs off, it changes the woman. It changes how the woman sees the new guy. How she saw the new guy was based on who she was as a "just friend" with a guy, with having that underlying sexually based motivation. If she was "just friends" with someone of the same sex, different motivations, different relationship, wouldn't change how she saw the new guy. It's stupid to believe men and women can be "friends" without any kind of sexual undertones and motivation to the relationship. Men and women develop sexual feelings for their parents around puberty. It's why men and women in many cases choose a partner like their parents, or siblings. Or the exact opposite when past feelings went unrequited and there was some level of pain. Granted, it may be impossible for a man and woman to be friends without sex if the man thinks with his genitals. Everyone thinks with their genitals. A lot of your brain and body are set up to. Some people simply acknowledge it while others deny it and refuse responsibility for what is truly motivating them. You can't separate sex from mating/procreation. Gender exists for mating/procreation purposes. The above is pure and utter crap.Mix a few half truths and a lot of bull$hit and you finish up with crap.You are getting close to being as good as "tomishereagain" with his religious meanderings but he was honest enough to admit it.Disappointing because most of your analysis of situations is usually quite reasonable. |
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In the last 2 years, I have practically lost 3 long-term friendships with male friends, who confessed to having feelings for me- 10 years, 18 years and 22 years respectively into our friendship . At that point I was totally relaxed in those friendships, never had any sexual or romantic interactions with any of them and viewed all of them as brothers until they dropped the bomb. All 3 of them drifted away from me after over a decade of friendship, when I explained that I wanted to remain just friends.
And I was also in love with one of my friends at one time but we survived the awkward period and are very good friends today. Translation: Whether people want to admit it or not, in many platonic arrangements, one person often develops feelings for the other person, and even if neither party chooses to act on it, things can still become very tense and complicated. |
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but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Relationships are defined by the people. Relationships don't exist floating around looking for the "right" people to complete it. A man and a woman can be friends without sex! A man and woman can be friendly towards each other without sex. They can be friends, with purely friendly motives, only for a short period of time. Gender was created for a reason, though. When a man or woman chooses to spend enough time around someone of the opposite sex their underlying subconscious is being told he/she is consciously choosing the other to mate with. So over time the naturally occurring sex hormones are associated with that person. They can't help but look at each other with sexual desire. They can choose not to act upon it, believing they can do better, and actively choosing to try and bang someone else. Or they can ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist. Either way it leads to a lot of subconsciously driven behavior. More ribald, innuendo, or inappropriate jokes about sex. More physical closeness. Arm touching, smiling, back patting, hugging, sitting closer. At best people try to force the other into a labeled relationship that helps them deny sexual attraction. i.e. viewing each other like a sibling. If someone has ever said "she's like my sister" or "he's like a brother to me!" it means they've had sexual impulses, and still do, they've just created this relationship label in order to deny them and help them not act upon them. But their subconscious behavior continues to drive them towards sex with them. In many cases that leads to overcompensation and subconscious behavior. Things like more physical closeness like slapping them on the arm when they make a sexual comment. Or pushing the person far away, setting up weekly, monthly meetings at restaurants, something that provides a table, something physical to keep them apart, or connection via Facebook and social media, which allows feelings of extreme happiness, allowing a reward like a fat chick and chocolate "I worked out an hour yesterday, I only ate salads all week, I'm excited that I get to eat 6 bars of chocolate tomorrow!" Men and women can be "friends" but their subconscious behavior will always be driven by sex after they hit puberty. Their motives in continuing any "friends" relationship will always be based on sexual impulses. Which ultimately helps sabotage any future relationship with someone else. e.g. a girl is "just friends" with a guy. They have a close "friend" relationship. New dating material comes along. The "just friend" either "confesses" their true feelings, starts getting competitive for attention and affection, or backs off i.e. changes the "friend" relationship. If the "friend" backs off, it changes the woman. It changes how the woman sees the new guy. How she saw the new guy was based on who she was as a "just friend" with a guy, with having that underlying sexually based motivation. If she was "just friends" with someone of the same sex, different motivations, different relationship, wouldn't change how she saw the new guy. It's stupid to believe men and women can be "friends" without any kind of sexual undertones and motivation to the relationship. Men and women develop sexual feelings for their parents around puberty. It's why men and women in many cases choose a partner like their parents, or siblings. Or the exact opposite when past feelings went unrequited and there was some level of pain. Granted, it may be impossible for a man and woman to be friends without sex if the man thinks with his genitals. Everyone thinks with their genitals. A lot of your brain and body are set up to. Some people simply acknowledge it while others deny it and refuse responsibility for what is truly motivating them. You can't separate sex from mating/procreation. Gender exists for mating/procreation purposes. |
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Well without actual sex yes man and woman can be friends but awkward moments will be there. There are many theories. level of attraction but then it all depends on people involved and around them. Human relationship is very complex And I missed mental stability..very important how happy the man & woman are in their other relationships Absolutely right about the awkward moments...the kind I avoid like the plague...but, agreed, it all depends on the level of attraction, state of mind, circumstances and who is buying the drinks....ha ha kidding about the drinks...just saying... |
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ciretom: that is a lot of writing and reading. All I am saying is that I have many male friends for many years and neither one of us think about going to the next level. True friends! How do you know what the guys are thinking....they are not going to say something stupid, the risk of getting ejected from the circle is always present...just saying... |
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Lots of examples of men and women having non sexual relationship.. Work relationships.. Brother and sister.. Mother and son Teacher and students. . Neighbors.. Not all men look at women as sexual objects not all women look at men as sexual objects... friendships are bonded over common interests.. a shared like or dislike for something My ex always said I treated her like a sex object, I replied...what you want me to do, every time I mention sex...you object...kidding you guys....just saying... |
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I have a few guys that are my friends. They are like my brothers. I call them my bromates (brother /mate).
I can talk to them pretty much about anything. If I want a males advice about something I will ask them. Like for example I asked one of my bromates, why do guys have three things on their minds? he gives my his point of view. No use asking a girl when you want a man's view. |
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I am not into threesomes, but a man and a woman cannot be just friends... Sex has to be involved... Just saying... maybe thats why you have no women friends? |
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Sorry. I'm very romantically inclined. Very. But I don't apply romanticism to things like the relative importance of one kind of friendship over another.
In my way of seeing all this, people are people. All the time, no matter who they are. Some are more aware of themselves and what they are about, is all. Some are more willing to lie to themselves and others, some are caught up with different dreams and principles than others. Maybe the people who seemed to be only friends for a long time only to reveal other desires, were the kind who were lying from the start. Maybe they were the sort who lined up targets in their mind, and played all of them one by one. I've met that kind too. Lots of people lack self-discipline, especially when it comes to things like love and sex. That kind of people are the ones who finally convinced me that allowing a belief in magical forces controlling people, is a fundamental mistake. I wont hook myself up to anyone who declares that how they behave is up to how they feel from one moment to the next. I learned how to comport myself as an honorable person a long time ago. It's work, but very satisfying, and it prevents me from doing foolish things, such as pretending to be friends with someone when I really want them as a lover or nothing else. |
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I am not into threesomes, but a man and a woman cannot be just friends... Sex has to be involved... Just saying... maybe thats why you have no women friends? Absolutely...I do have sisters, daughters...etc etc...But yep! I cannot pretend to have other women as friends, yet all the time thinking I would rather have them as more than friends...just saying... |
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