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| Topic: Do you care what other people think of you? | |
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Even tho I may say I don't care I do to a point.. But that is mainly when it comes to my kids and close family....
But in reality the older I get the less I care what anyone thinks of me. As long as I'm not hurting anyone else it is none of their business..... I beat my own drum and follow the path I choose too... 
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Even tho I may say I don't care I do to a point.. But that is mainly when it comes to my kids and close family.... But in reality the older I get the less I care what anyone thinks of me. As long as I'm not hurting anyone else it is none of their business..... I beat my own drum and follow the path I choose too... |
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In the delineation of subjects such as manners, hygiene, decorum, etc...YES, ABSOLUTELY! The broad, sweeping, cavalier statement, "I'm my own person and don't care what anyone thinks." is a copout or excuse. I get annoyed with those who use the tired, "I'm just saying what everyone is thinking, but afraid to say." as an excuse for rude behavior. I would care if people thought me rude. There is a reason (beyond SELF respect ) I shower, brush my teeth, comb my hair, put on clean clothes in the morning. There is a reason I say thank you and please...hold doors for people. Yes, even for strangers. You never know when a stranger might become incredibly important to you. I care about first impressions! Now...after being established as a thoughtful, upstanding individual; who at least makes the effort to contribute to the positive.....if someone doesn't like you, F'em! You brought up a very orofound point beach and I think I only briefly touched on it when I told tom that sometimes people's expectations of us give credence to the expectations we have of ourselves. What you raised in more detail is the principle of setting a standard for yourself based on a core value as opposed to just buckling under the weight of someone else's opinion. Eg A person who upholds an internal standard of courtesy will say thanks and please to EVERYONE , and for EVERY occasion , and not just in front of colleages at work or on a date when we wanna impress that special someone. The things we do when no one is lookinģ is the most authentic guage of the standard we hold ourselves to. And that matters more to me than others opinions actually |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Mon 06/12/17 08:35 AM
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Even tho I may say I don't care I do to a point.. But that is mainly when it comes to my kids and close family.... But in reality the older I get the less I care what anyone thinks of me. As long as I'm not hurting anyone else it is none of their business..... I beat my own drum and follow the path I choose too... Everyone uses the " i dont cqre what people think about me" in a very general way kristi. I say it often too. And i think its counter productive to care too much. It can oppress you! Most of us care about the opinions that the people who love us , have of us. But i agree that it should be tempered with a strong sense of who you are and what makes you happy. I certainly dont do everything my family and friends expect of me .If I did, I would have missed out on some amazing experiences that greatly improved the quality of my life Ps: The older I get is the less I care about others opinions too or the less I allow their opinions to affect my choices :) |
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no
nobody |
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Well.. when it comes to online I used to edit everything I put down on LCD.. worried I might offend someone or say the wrong thing or stick my foot in my mouth... But then I got over myself and stop doing that...lol. now I just post the first thing that comes into that pea brain of mine..lol.. see just like pee brain why on Earth would I say that....hmmm.. because I'm pretty sure I have a brain the size of a walnut...lmao.. Offline I do care what my family and friends think and my lady friend... see again I said lady friend and I know that dries my lady friend absolutely up the wall...lol.. but my little walnut-sized brain just doesn't have a filter...lol.. but my lady friend knows that she's really my girlfriend...hmmm.. well at least until she reads this...lmao.wink.hi.my.  You always put everything out there doc. But I suspect you couldnt function in an environment where your thoughts and feelings were muzzled or edited constantly. Your lady friend willjust have to understand what she is signing up for :) |
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Even tho I may say I don't care I do to a point.. But that is mainly when it comes to my kids and close family.... But in reality the older I get the less I care what anyone thinks of me. As long as I'm not hurting anyone else it is none of their business..... I beat my own drum and follow the path I choose too... I will let kristi handlethis one. Get him kristi! 
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no nobody Yuh know what ? I actually believe you SDCF2 :) |
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The things we do when no one is lookinģ is the most authentic guage of the standard we hold ourselves to. Personally, 95% of my life is when no one is looking. My disability has made me a recluse. I exist outside the social norm. I have had years to spend on introspective. I have had time to realize who I am and why I do as I do, say as I say. I like me. With this isolation comes independence. While I still get others attempting to influence me, I understand what they are doing right away, even if they don't realize they are doing it. I believe the more social you are the greater the degree of influence you are subject to and the less you realize it. Kinda like the dulling of senses from over exposure. Socially I have always been a likeable guy. I had a large number of friends and a fairly large family. The more people that were around me the greater they influenced me as I unknowingly tried to fit in. As that number decreased over time, I stopped changing so often. As I changed less and less to others expectations my circle of friends diminished. At first I thought it was a bad thing. I was afraid of being alone. Then I came to grips with the fact that this is my life and I get to choose how and why I change. I see other people differently now. I actually listen to what they say, not just their words but what they imply. I see a lot of me when I was younger. Confusion about who they are and how they should act. As if they need someone to tell them? I now concentrate on allowing others to be themselves. I actually say the word "Its Okay To Be You" because really, it is. |
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I find it hard as I've had a bleed on my brain which means at the moment I walk with a walking which makes people look at me differently and it's hard to find love because people just look at that and don't get to know, they don't know what I've had to overcome and achieve, I'm still the same person inside and outside still an ugly b#stard
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The things we do when no one is lookinģ is the most authentic guage of the standard we hold ourselves to. Personally, 95% of my life is when no one is looking. My disability has made me a recluse. I exist outside the social norm. I have had years to spend on introspective. I have had time to realize who I am and why I do as I do, say as I say. I like me. With this isolation comes independence. While I still get others attempting to influence me, I understand what they are doing right away, even if they don't realize they are doing it. I believe the more social you are the greater the degree of influence you are subject to and the less you realize it. Kinda like the dulling of senses from over exposure. Socially I have always been a likeable guy. I had a large number of friends and a fairly large family. The more people that were around me the greater they influenced me as I unknowingly tried to fit in. As that number decreased over time, I stopped changing so often. As I changed less and less to others expectations my circle of friends diminished. At first I thought it was a bad thing. I was afraid of being alone. Then I came to grips with the fact that this is my life and I get to choose how and why I change. I see other people differently now. I actually listen to what they say, not just their words but what they imply. I see a lot of me when I was younger. Confusion about who they are and how they should act. As if they need someone to tell them? I now concentrate on allowing others to be themselves. I actually say the word "Its Okay To Be You" because really, it is. Very admirable that you reached so far in your evolution tom. Im not quite there yet, but its a journey |
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Hello
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I've had a bleed on my brain which means I walk with a walking stick for the time people look at me differently and it's hard to find love as nobody gets to know me , they don't know what I've had to overcome and achieved, I'm still the same person inside and out still ugly
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Even tho I may say I don't care I do to a point.. But that is mainly when it comes to my kids and close family.... But in reality the older I get the less I care what anyone thinks of me. As long as I'm not hurting anyone else it is none of their business..... I beat my own drum and follow the path I choose too... Hummm guess I should have worded that stroke my own ego But then that don't sound right either 
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I've had a bleed on my brain which means I walk with a walking stick for the time people look at me differently and it's hard to find love as nobody gets to know me , they don't know what I've had to overcome and achieved, I'm still the same person inside and out still ugly The little laugh is for the 'ugly ' bit I think most of us are guilty of looking at someone who has a disability of some kind, in your case I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for you not to have the chance to explain your circumstances ,how it happened, what you're going through etc. So, So in your case I'd feel it does matter to some degree what people think. People can be very judgemental, not that it has $hit to do with them. So good luck mate and enjoy the forums 
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Very admirable that you reached so far in your evolution tom. Im not quite there yet, but its a journey Not really. Its inevitable. Ya know the old saying that with age comes wisdom? Well, another thing that comes with age is isolation. My isolation just came earlier than most due to my physical condition. It wasn't as much a journey I chose as it was an only path available. I've always had a very active mind, almost hyper active. I had high activity levels because of it. When I had to slow down, I turned inward and started exploring myself and what I mean to me. It is enlightening but kinda scary too. There are a lot of people that have aged into isolation. Not many look into themselves. I just happened to be armed with understanding of depression and how to recognize its symptoms. Part of that understanding is stripping away delusions and embracing reality. I understand low self-esteem and how it affects me. By understanding myself - I seem to understand others. I see me, in many ways, in the people I interact with. I see how I was, how I am and how I want to be. I don't change because of their opinion of who they think I should be but how I want to be based on how they are to me. |
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I've recently had a bleed on my brain which means I walk with a walking stick, people look at me differently and don't get to know me I'm still the same person inside and out still ugly, I'm finding it hard to find love, people don't know what I've had to overcome and achieved
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Sorry about repeating what I've put I'm still trying to work it out, what I say is along as you know what you are and if your a good person that's all that matters
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Sorry about repeating what I've put I'm still trying to work it out, what I say is along as you know what you are and if your a good person that's all that matters Yes, exactly
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You all seem understanding and good people on he good luck in your search for love
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