So how do some guys do it? Just walk up to a random lady and start talking.

There is this lady I find mesmerizing at my gym but well it’s the gym so I don’t want to come off as just another creep. Talking to women at work, no problem and it very easy to talk to married women but just random women in random places is hard.

How do they do it?

Perhaps their self-esteem does not hinge on other's approval?

I would have to agree with Tom, it's all about confidence and self-esteem. They are not only confident in approaching a complete stranger and risking rejection, but also they understand that rejection is a way of life and don't let that fear stop them as they know that they won't lose anything by it. The best feeling about that is that they can always cheer themselves up by knowing they at least gave it a shot.

What I find a bit confusing is your statement about married women. So what you are saying is you find it easier to walk up to a married woman and chat her up then a single one?

Well, in a sense a married woman is easier to talk to. Especially a happily married woman.
That is because there is less a risk of rejection. Because there is a certain amount of certainty that she will not be considering the talk as a come-on. Thus, the rejection is anticipated.

It is much easier to randomly chat if you have zero expectations.
Just assume nothing is in play (like they are married) and perhaps
the words will flow :-)

That's why I am saying I'm a bit confused. One of the first things he mentioned was finding a woman mesmerising at gym. So can one not deduct from that that he is talking about approaching a woman with the intention of asking her out?

I don't know,maybe I'm reading too much into it,or maybe my aversion to dating thus even approaching a married woman is clouding my comments.

But what I will say though is that you can't always pass up opportunities simply because of fear. I would suggest you approach the lady at gym. Because trust me brother, though it might sting a bit if she rejects you, what will sting more is if some new joinee chats her up and dates her right in front of you. You'll be kicking yourself for days

Good point!

Sorry i meant that its easier to talk to married women because there are no expectations. We both are not interested so its cool no pressure

There’s nothing creepy about starting up small talk at the gym.

If you take the pressure out of asking her out or conveying your interest by putting all that off for later, then you can simply approach her for friendly chit chat. If she seems friendly toward you, then ask her out next time. When you do ask, you’ll feel more relaxed because you’ve already spoken to her and gotten friendly feedback.

If you don’t get friendly feedback, you will know she may not be receptive to having men approach her in the gym...or at all.

Bravo!

Love ya for this!!!

Find some common ground on her workout and yours ?

I agree - I don't think talking to a woman at a gym is creepy at all - as long as you are friendly & respectful (& not leering at her figure!) you should do fine. As someone else said act as though her response doesn't matter to you at all.

I think the key point in this is to be natural and talk to people as people, instead of as a means to fulfill an agenda.
Get to know her as a person. Not an object of desire.

very well said!:

When she has candy and a cool panel van, it makes it easy.

I have men approach me all the time at the gym and seldom do I find them creepy . Usually there is a shared interest in weight training and fitness .. it is nice to know people who you see on a regular basis . It is as easy as saying hello . Good luck

All good advice. Thanks minglers

Or it could be that single women are just crazy

Internet dating is about talking to strangers and if you're fortunate, you will get to meet someone nice in person. That's the Best.