How to be attractive ONLINE. Out in the real world, you want to make yourself look attractive in order to… well.. attract others. So, you put on some nice clothes, you comb your hair, you put on some makeup, you stay fit and healthy, you clean your teeth, etc.
When trying to find a mate online, however, a common mistake is to neglect to make your profile look attractive. You may go through all the aforementioned effort in making yourself be attractive in real life, but you don’t bother putting the necessary effort in making your profile look attractive. Well, why not? Your profile is really the one thing that people online will see, so why neglect it? Slacking when it comes to your profile will give others the impression that you are probably a slouch in real life as well.
Telling people “I’m different in real life” doesn’t really work in getting someone online to meet you out in person. With the above in mind, here are a few tips for making your profile seem as attractive as possible.
1) Fill out as much as you can when it comes to the standard details, but try to add a bit of your personality to it. A lot of people struggle when it comes to writing about themselves, so they just list as many qualities about themselves as possible. Instead of such a dry approach, try telling a story or a joke. Doing so can reveal things about yourself in a more interesting manner. Or, try uploading pictures that show you doing activities in which you love. For instance, instead of saying “I like to surf”, upload a picture of you catching a wave! There are a lot of ways to communicate your interests and likes without just listing them as you would on a spreadsheet. Be creative!
2) Pictures of yourself should always be recent (nobody cares what you used to look like!) and as clear as possible. Others want to know what you look like now, because that is the person they are presumably interested in meeting. Take and select pictures that show off your best qualities. If you’ve put on a bit of weight, well, find flattering angles of yourself. Not everyone is photogenic. I know I’m not. But every now and then, when the stars align, I take a great picture. Find out what it is about the lighting and the angles that make that happen, and use that information to take nice, attractive pictures of yourself. Candid shots of yourself doing things that you love are also a fantastic way of communicating your interests in an online profile.
3) If you want to show off a part of your body in a picture that you know is fantastic, don’t take a picture of that body part in isolation. For instance, if you have a great set of legs, don’t just take a picture of your legs for uploading. This is simply not as appealing as it could be, because it’s out of context. Instead, try taking a picture of yourself walking around in your favorite shorts. By doing this, your gorgeous legs will come across as being sexy in an understated way. Finally, decapitated torsos as main photos are never attractive (and we certainly frown upon them). If you are reluctant to show your face online, we suggest finding a more creative way of taking pictures without your face than simply cropping out your head.
4) Make sure there are no spelling or major grammar mistakes in your profile. Know the difference between they’re, their and there. Be aware that should of, could of and would of should actually be should have/should’ve, could have/could’ve, and would have/would’ve, respectively.
5) Ease up on proclaiming your accolades and achievements right out of the gate. Just like in real life, you don’t start off conversations with the fact that you have a Masters from Harvard. You may want to leave that type of stuff out of your profile. Keep it about you and your personality first, and if those kinds of things come up naturally in a conversation, then it’s okay to let the other person know your achievements. Put simply, nobody likes a braggart.
6) Just as you would on a first date, keep first conversations online light and fun. Don’t get into discussions about politics, religion or anything heavy. Try to keep things lighthearted and fun. After all, isn’t that what this is all about? Along the same lines, try to avoid conversations about past relationships. Next, don’t drop commitment kinds of questions right off the bat nor state your commitment absolute demands in your profile.
The answers to such questions will come in time. I know that you may be eager to meet your significant other and start a new life, but you can’t hurry love. Let it flow organically. Discussing hopes and dreams is not totally off-limits, but do this in a way that says “this is what I ultimately want in my life” rather than “if you can’t give me this, then move on”. Ultimately, we are here to meet other people and connecting, not to fill roles in our lives that we’ve defined ourselves.