For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. St. John 3:16

We went to see a movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.

"Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me."

By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?"

"No!" she said in a loud whisper.
"The 'TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE' message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car."

Go Redneck girl!!

What's with this deleting jokes?

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild? Since he was a Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to a phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

Yhat's sick alright!

Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best Surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite
case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached
them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of
England."

The second surgeon said, "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and
both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a
gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a
woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on
into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was
the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them
together and now she's running for President."

Let not your heart be troubled; ye believe in God, believe also in me.
In my Fathers' house are many mansioms; if it were not so, I would have told you.
I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will com again, and recieve you unto myself; that where I am, there you may be also.

St John 14 1-3

Hussain or Hillary?

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

"I'm sure that must have embarrassed you so let me pay for your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he listens, he shares his and she listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.

They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed and totally impressed. Everything had been SO incredible!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "


"No," she replies. . . . . .

"You just happened to catch my eye."

Red, I missed it when did congress delare war on Iraq?

That it's true...there is no Santa Claus

We've had alternative energy for years..could all be driving our vehicles, heating/cooling our homes and businesses, powering everything with energy cells. Look how long we've had nuclear powered submarines. It would have ruined the economy if we had switched...and it's not just the oil industry, would get the gas and electric utilities as well.
They will gradually switch to ethanol, but it won't help you and me...ethanol will cost as much or more than gasoline and will contain gasoline and corn sqeezing.

So, dream on...we've had liberals in the white house and controling congress and we've had conservatives in control.
Niether has done anything about it other than to say 'we need alternative energy'....they're too busy trying to stay in power.

sorry, don't know how that happened

I hear you, it is very perplexing, they have our country devided right down the middle. A politician who is moderate has very little chance of winning, and slim chance to change anything if he does win.

I hear you, it is very perplexing, they have our country devided right down the middle. A politician who is moderate has very little chance of winning, and slim chance to change anything if he does win.