Community > Posts By > OleJeb

 
no photo
Mon 07/09/07 05:44 PM
Where is the outrage over U.S. citizens being murdered across our country. The media does not report a national total of these 'casualties' either.
We are in a 'war' here at home and you may be surprised to learn that the number killed here far exceeds the number of our military killed in Iraq. In 2006 alone there were 20,917 people murdered in the U.S.A.

http://www.nationmaster.com/country/us-united-states/cri-crime

no photo
Sat 07/07/07 04:42 PM
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the
difference between potentially and realistically?
The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Come back and tell me what you learn from that.
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"
The boy pondered the answers for a few days
and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, Yes. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo.

no photo
Fri 07/06/07 07:27 AM
I don't know 'bout Tilex on molds....guess it depends on where the molds are.noway laugh glasses laugh laugh

no photo
Thu 07/05/07 08:47 PM
The other night, I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise," were my last words.

The hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily and around 3 a.m. we piled into a cab and headed to our respective homes, quite inebriated.

Just as I walked through the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times!

Realizing that my husband would probably wake up to this, I quickly cuckooed another 9 times. I was quit pleased with myself for coming up with such a quick witted solution to cover up my tardiness. Even with my impaired judgment, I could count 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos equaled 12 cuckoos!

The next morning, my husband asked me what time I got in, and confidently, I replied, "Midnight...like I promised." He didn't even raise and eyebrow and went on reading the morning paper! Phew! Got away with that one!

After a moment, he then replied, "I think we might need a new cuckoo clock."

A bit nervously, I asked him why, to which he responded:

"Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, 'Oh, crap,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

no photo
Thu 07/05/07 09:17 AM
How do you make a blonds eyes sparkle>











Shine a light in her/his ear.



no photo
Wed 07/04/07 11:46 AM
In the county home for old folks there were two old men rooming together, down the hall there were two widows rooming together.
One day Ethel said, "You know Myrtle, we might as well be dead, it's so boring here."
Myrtle said, "I know, I've been thinking about it, and I'm gonna do something about it. I'm gonna stir up a little excitement, gonna take all my clothes off and run down the hall past them old mens room."
So, she did, she pulled her clothes off and ran past the old mens room.
Ole Ed said, "Slim did you see that? What was that dress Myrtle had on?"
Slim said, "I don't know, but it sure did need ironing!"

no photo
Tue 07/03/07 08:35 AM
While reading about prayer here, a line from an old hymn came to me.....'prayer is the souls sincere desire, unuttered or expressed'.
So, we don't have to go to church to pray (tho, I love my church, they're just like a big loving family) and we don't have to spout a lot of flowery words trying to impress God. God sees our prayer in our heart. I do think that it's good (for us) sometimes to put our prayer in words...but I don't always have the words.
Red, it shouldn't offend any christian, and certainly would not offend me if you asked me to pray for you. Actually, I have been praying for you, I pray for everyone I meet and my prayer is that we might all have hearts of love.
flowerforyou

no photo
Tue 07/03/07 07:26 AM

A socialist once came to see Andrew Carnegie and soon was railing against the injustice of Carnegie having so much money. In his view, wealth was meant to be divided equally. Carnegie asked his secretary for an assessment of everything he owned and at the same time looked up the figures on world population. He did a little arithmetic on a pad and then said to his secretary, "Give this gentleman 16 cents. That's his share of my wealth."

no photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:15 AM
Red, you have a beautiful heart...and the rest of you ain't bad either!flowerforyou flowerforyou

no photo
Sat 06/30/07 06:44 PM
Cherub, everything clear now?laugh laugh laugh laugh

no photo
Sat 06/30/07 06:12 PM
I'm over my crush on Buttons....I think

frown indifferent

no photo
Sat 06/30/07 06:06 PM
Hi Dimples, stick around girl.
People here used to make comments about my pic...things like. 'how can a 67 yr old look so young?' I just tell them that I was born very young.

bigsmile flowerforyou flowerforyou

no photo
Sat 06/30/07 05:22 PM
It is very important to take seriously anyone contemplating suicide. I knew a man who tried and failed...everyone said, 'if he really wanted to, he wouldn't failed'. A short time later he put the barrel of a shotgun in his mouth and succeeded in killing himself.

We used to say one has to be crazy to commit suicide, not so.
But one seriously thinking about it needs help. I think that there is a suicide hotline that one can call for help?

no photo
Sat 06/30/07 05:02 PM
Hey, just renounce your U.S. citizenship, become a chinese citizen, and good luck.

no photo
Sat 06/30/07 10:40 AM
C'mon, just quit treating us as sex objects!bigsmile

no photo
Sat 06/30/07 10:36 AM
Thanks Spider, first time I've read this scripture in a while. It is very humbling, God doesn't 'need' anything from us, everything IS His.
Praise Him for sending Jesus to save this lost and dying world!

no photo
Fri 06/29/07 04:15 PM
I have never thought that the U.S. should be the 'worlds police force'.
We are not in a war in Iraq! Congress has not declared war since ww2.
Our 'war' is here at home...we are so devided, it is sickning.
About the only thing congress can agree on is a pay raise for themselves, Sometimes I think 'why do we need congress anymore, we have plenty of laws on the books and some of those arn't enforced'.
Maybe we should bring our 'policemen' home from around the world and let them clean up our cities...there are probably more U.S. people killed than in Araq.




no photo
Fri 06/29/07 03:29 PM
Every U.S. voter should demand that our gov't. enforce the immigration laws.
They waste time and money trying to pass another law...if and when they do, will they enforce it? I don't think so.

no photo
Fri 06/29/07 03:18 PM
I reckon I'm my own worse enemy...and yes I love me.
'Love thy neighbor as thyself'...so it is important to love 'thyself'.

Jesus has defeated our enemy Satan....Satan may win a battle now and then, but he lost the war when Jesus died on the cross.

no photo
Fri 06/29/07 09:58 AM
A socialist once came to see Andrew Carnegie and soon was railing against the injustice of Carnegie having so much money. In his view, wealth was meant to be divided equally. Carnegie asked his secretary for an assessment of everything he owned and at the same time looked up the figures on world population. He did a little arithmetic on a pad and then said to his secretary, "Give this gentleman 16 cents. That's his share of my wealth."