Community > Posts By > OleJeb

 
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Thu 06/28/07 09:29 AM


A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck,"These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment.
Then reaching deep into his pocket,he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents.Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle.
"Here, Dolly!" he called.
Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.

As the dogs made their way to the fence,the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up..
"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy.? He will never be able to run and? play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.
In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.
Looking back up at the farmer, he said,"You see sir, I don't run too well myself,and he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully handed it to the little boy.

"How much?" asked the little boy.? "No? charge,"? answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

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Tue 06/26/07 11:04 PM
The border here in the southern Arizona desert is a cat-and-mouse
struggle, the Homeland Security Department says it has a smarter cat.
The Homeland Security Department is building nine towers with radar and
cameras to scan 28 miles of border Project 28, nine nearly 100-foot-tall
towers, is arrayed across 28 miles of Arizona desert with radar and
high-definition cameras.
It comes in the form of nine nearly 100-foot-tall towers with radar,
high-definition cameras and other equipment rising from the mesquite and
lava fields around this tiny town.

Known as Project 28, for the 28 miles of border that the towers will
scan, the so-called virtual fence forms the backbone of the Secure
Border Initiative, known as SBInet, a multibillion-dollar mix of
technology, manpower and fencing intended to control illegal border
crossings.

If successful, hundreds of such towers could dot the 6,000 miles of the
Mexican and Canadian borders.

But glitches with the radar and cameras have forced the project to miss
its June 13 starting date, just as Congress focuses anew on border
security in the Senate measure to overhaul immigration law.

Officials at the Homeland Security Department insist that Boeing, which
has a $67 million contract to develop the project and others, will soon
put it back on track, though they are not providing a new completion
date.

Boeing referred requests for comment to the department.

“We are making good progress,” the executive director of the border
program, Gregory Giddens, said.

Democrats in Congress are questioning why the problems were not
disclosed at a hearing on the project on June 7. It was only afterward,
in communication to Congressional staff members, that the delays came to
light.

“The department’s failure to be forthcoming and the repeatedly
slipping project deadlines not only impede Congress’ ability to
provide appropriate oversight of the SBInet program, but also undermine
the department’s credibility with respect to this initiative,”
Representatives Bennie G. Thompson of Mississippi, chairman of the House
Homeland Security Committee, and Loretta Sanchez of California,
chairwoman of a border subcommittee, both Democrats, wrote in a letter
on June 19 to the department.

In a report in February, the Government Accountability Office warned
that Congress needed to keep a tight rein on the program, because, it
said, “SBInet runs the risk of not delivering promised capabilities
and benefits on time and within budget.”

Officials estimate total cost of the initiative through 2011 at $7.6
billion. The accountability office has suggested that figure is too low.

Boeing won the contract, which includes $20 million for Project 28, in
September and has undertaken it with a sense of urgency, Mr. Giddens
said, adding that he would prefer a delay over starting the project with
malfunctioning equipment.

Rather than develop new technology, Boeing took existing cameras,
sensors, radar and other equipment and bundled them into a system that
although not technologically novel is unlike anything the Border Patrol
now uses.

The cameras, set off by radar, are to beam high-quality images of
targets miles away to field commanders and agents, making it possible to
determine almost instantly whether they are watching a family outing or
a group of illegal immigrants.

The information is to flow over a high-speed wireless network into
laptops in dozens of Border Patrol vehicles that, in theory, would
respond quicker and more efficiently to breaches than they do now.

“We are living the dividing line between the old Border Patrol and the
new patrol of the future,” said David Aguilar, chief of the Border
Patrol.

“It will not only detect, but identify what the incursion is,” Mr.
Aguilar added, a step up from the existing ground sensors, fence cameras
and footprint tracking that can lead to “false positives.”

With much of the 2,000-mile-long Mexican border a wilderness of plains,
plunging ravines and soaring craggy hills, officials consider virtual
fencing a pragmatic improvement to far-flung agents and physical fences
— 88 miles now have primary fencing — that illegal immigrants knock
down, bore through and slip over and under.

The towers are ringed with a six-foot-tall chain-link fence, and the
Border Patrol can warn people away through a loudspeaker. Private guards
are at the towers now.

On Thursday morning at a tower north of here, a reporter and a
photographer walked right up to the tower, observing and photographing
it for several minutes with no guard in sight.

Mr. Aguilar said he was not concerned about such access, speculating
that no threat was discerned or the cameras were not turned on then.

Residents near the towers have raised concerns, questioning why most
towers are miles from the border and whether they will allow
unscrupulous agents to peer into their bedrooms.

“We don’t live in clusters,” said Roger Beal, who runs a grocery
store in the isolated town of Arivaca, the site of a tower and about 10
miles from the border. “The homes here are not 10 feet apart. People
value their privacy here, and we are just not used to being observed. Do
it at the border. This isn’t it.”

Mr. Aguilar, the Border Patrol chief, said: “We are members of the
community. We recognize their sensitivity. But we feel confident our
officers are going to follow policy and common sense. Can I guarantee
you nothing is going to happen? No, we are all human.”

Although the towers are in a region with heavy traffic in smuggling,
Boeing chose to place them close to existing roads and away from the
most rugged terrain to help captures.

Mr. Aguilar said the towers did not need to be right on the border,
suggesting that traffickers would find it difficult to move their routes
undetected in the rough terrain even if they figured out the locations
of the towers. The expected locations have been published in a public
environmental assessment.

The virtual fence is one piece of a flurry of border enforcement. The
Border Patrol said it was on pace to hire thousands of agents, with the
goal of a total of 18,000 by the end of 2008, up from just under 12,000
in 2006, when President Bush announced the push.

In addition, officials expect to have 370 miles of physical fencing by
the end of next year. Drug seizures are increasing, and arrests for
illegal immigration have dropped since last summer, when the National
Guard arrived to supplement agents.

Though scholars say an array of factors, including economic and social
trends in Latin America and the vagaries of the drug trade could explain
the trends, Mr. Aguilar said they vindicated the stricter enforcement.

After the system is fully functioning, he said, “the net will be very,
very tight.”

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Tue 06/26/07 12:26 PM
I know a man...just had heart surgery at North Misssissippi Medical
Center and didn't have insurance or cash.


Now those Canadian drs. coming to the USA....Are they legals?





glasses laugh laugh laugh

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Tue 06/26/07 11:55 AM
How about this idea? Build that Mexican border wall high enough, put a
water slide from it to the Canadian border and let those illegals slide
right up to Canada where they will surely be welcomed with open arms and
hearts.
drinker drinker laugh

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Mon 06/25/07 09:19 AM

Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter,
The PRINCESS.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No
matter what; Metal,Wood, Stone, Anything she touched would melt. Because
of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king
despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his
wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter
touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan. The next day, he held a
competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would
not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel. But alas, when the
princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly .

The second prince brought diamonds. He thought diamonds are the hardest
substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, Once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.

The third prince approached. He told the princess,
"Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red .
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.


And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed


And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily
ever after.

Question: What was in the prince's pants?


M&Ms, of course, they never melt in your hand!!

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Mon 06/25/07 08:32 AM
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria.

____________________________________


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

__________________________________________


TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

____________________________________________


TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

__________________________________


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Rodney, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

_______________________________________


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

MILLIE: I is...

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."

MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

_________________________________


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

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Sat 06/23/07 08:27 AM
He was just a little boy,
On a week's first day.
He was wandering home from Sunday School,
And dawdling on the way.

He scuffed his shoes into the grass;
He even found a caterpillar.
He found a fluffy milkweed pod,
And blew out all the "filler."

A bird's nest in a tree overhead,
So wisely placed up so high.
Was just another wonder,
That caught his eager eye.

A neighbor watched his zig zag course,
And hailed him from the lawn;
Asked him where he'd been that day
And what was going on.

"I've been to Bible School,"
He said and turned a piece of sod.
He picked up a wiggly worm replying,
"I've learned a lot about God."

"M'm very fine way," the neighbor said,
"For a boy to spend his time."
"If you'll tell me where God is,
I'll give you a brand new dime."

Quick as a flash the answer came!
Nor were his accents faint.
"I'll give you a dollar, Mister,
If you can tell me where God ain't."

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Sat 06/23/07 08:13 AM
Amen

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Sat 06/23/07 08:06 AM
Yeah, you'd expect to see something like this on FOX.

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Sat 06/23/07 07:41 AM
Lou Dobbs wrote this. It is amazing to me because he is with CNN.

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Fri 06/22/07 09:20 AM
When she says "please"laugh laugh laugh laugh

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Fri 06/22/07 09:17 AM
"Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on June 9 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days."

"Would the person who lost a fat roll of hundred dollar bills, wrapped
in a rubber band, please report to the Lost and Found Department. We
found your rubber band."

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Fri 06/22/07 09:13 AM
Yeah,Abra what do you think?glasses laugh laugh laugh

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Fri 06/22/07 08:58 AM
NEW YORK (CNN) -- There are times when reason carries the mind no
further, when the mind is carried from the rational across the penumbra
of the absurd. That is where the leadership of the U.S. Senate now
resides.

What many once regarded as the world's great deliberative body looks
more like a clamorous bazaar in which senators feverishly hawk duplicity
and deceit as bright jewels of public policy. Comprehensive immigration
reform is just such a bauble, and buyer beware.

Most beguiling among those merchants of mendacity is none other than
Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, who has been peddling his wares at the Senate
bazaar for more than four decades. Kennedy's counterfeit immigration
views reach all the way back to his championship of the Immigration and
Nationality Act of 1965.

In signing that legislation into law, President Lyndon Johnson promised
it would not be revolutionary or affect the lives of millions, even as
it overturned 60 years of U.S. immigration policy of national origin
quotas and led to the creation of explosive chain migration.

Twenty-one years later, President Ronald Reagan signed into law amnesty
for more than three million illegal aliens who had entered the country.
President Reagan then promised the new employer sanctions would "remove
the incentive for illegal immigration by eliminating the job
opportunities," and that the law's amnesty provision would allow
millions who were hiding in the shadows to "step into the sunlight."

And now, another 21 years later, we hear the same language as the
pro-amnesty and open borders advocates demand that American citizens
ignore history, reason and the national interest. They are again
marketing the same false assurances about border enforcement and insist
there will be no social or economic cost to the taxpayer or the nation.
More than four decades of disruptive and destructive immigration policy
initiatives should be a sufficient history lesson for all Americans.

The essential truth is clear: We cannot reform immigration law until we
control immigration, and we cannot control immigration until we control
our borders and our ports. This president and the congressional
Democratic leadership refuse to recognize that reality and will not
honor that truth.

President Bush and Sen. Kennedy pass for political stars in our tortured
times, and that is sad enough. But if we follow the course they've set,
true tragedy awaits us. And the fault will be ours

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Thu 06/21/07 10:03 AM
noway noway laugh laugh laugh

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Thu 06/21/07 09:03 AM
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, a lovely looking woman
became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to
the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she
reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would
give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only
to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to
unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the
step

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a
little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up
easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How
dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with
you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was
friends

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Wed 06/20/07 10:13 AM
drinker laugh laugh drinker

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Wed 06/20/07 09:55 AM
#2, thank you

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Wed 06/20/07 09:32 AM
Yeah, Red carry onlaugh laugh laugh

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Wed 06/20/07 09:11 AM
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very
Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you
want.'

So he tied her up and went golfing.