I'll explain that. I only found out about the first affair 15 years later when we had two more children and things were well.

She did get away with it I admit but she worked me over with the mental illness card, which she received at the hospital.

Update today is that she blames me for 'ruining her life', by making her have an affair with my friend for 10 months and having to move into a rented hovel.

Friendship combined with love is the strongest glue, with it you can get through a lot but you need the full package to really succeed in a long marriage.

What if you are 50 but you feel 30 and you date someone who is 60 ?

The wardrobe is 4x bigger now than 2 weeks ago as I only had a quarter of it.

Sorry I don't understand what you are saying. Doing what for the kids ?

She has done nothing for them for the last 18 months.

The battle usually takes place in the wardrobe over hangers and shoe space. The female shoes out number the male shoes 5 to 1 and so they bully the the male shoes by burying them forever.

It's the complete selfishness of the whole thing. Like nothing and no one matters except them and their own satisfaction.

For me it is the epitome of greed.

Sorry if you read it that way. I used the word IF.

It's a touchy subject for me, as former abused husband I was the best punchbag in the business. She even broke a front tooth of mine in front of the children.

Also I was in your situation once and i reacted to the woman's screams and knocked the guy out.

What happened next you ask, the woman started on me for hitting the guy!

I suffered with guilt but years later I realised that if that punch stopped him ever hitting a woman again it was worth it.

The movie 'Love actually', does a good job in showing real examples of love, the pain and sacrifices that go with it.

Spot on.

It's only now that I realize that my happiest days were when my children were young.

If you think slapping a female is ok then you need a slap, a proper one.

I think it is far more acceptable if the man is older.

I remember when I was younger with my young family seeing older guys with the obvious young 2nd wife and 2nd family and admire him for his courage and energy.

And then I find myself in that pre 2nd family position......

Through this nightmare the children, 12, 18 and 21, have been the strongest out of all of us.

I think that say's they knew what was going on from the start.

That's what i told him the day before he came and got her things.

He has only seen the good side so I told him the bad is as bad as the good is good.

He stared at me, his mind spinning.

The whole 25 years, even on the honeymoon. Now she's with a new guy he will get it and I won't.

My ex-wife used to start a row on purpose to push me away if she felt close.

Work that one out.

I am realizing that now after looking at the broad age range some women put in the profile.

How about 20 years ? and if it's the way around that the man is older, is that ok ?

Do know what Doug, things are better now than before the affair broke and she was asked to leave.

Before she spent everything on herself now she wants to put in for the kids.

The guilt has hit home now and new guy is helping the situation as he is in love with her and wants it all to work out cool.

It's a happy ending I suppose.

does it matter and where is the limit ?

My wife is 9 years younger and I always thought it was a lot but maybe it isn't.

She knows and feels the problem, she feels worthless because her mother didn't want her.

She was 4 and can still remember what her mother was wearing when she was packing her bags !

Imagine living with a beautiful woman, 5'8 58kg, who is front of house at the biggest restaurant at a international golf resort, gets mentioned on tripadvisor regularly, hit on several times day and she thinks she is fat and ugly.

It wears you down.

The kids are the coolest. She was an awesome mother when they were younger but now they do their own thing she got detached.

I on the other hand am left doing everything for them and I love it.