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Community > Posts By > minglester
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Texting over the line?
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So I met this girl for 2 days in a row, matched online and then just casual hangouts since we're neighbors.
She seemed very enthusiatic about me but on the 2nd date i was really off (burnt out from work) and didn't initiate anything so rather than let that be the last thing on her mind, I texted '-next time we meet im gonna ask you if i can kiss you.' And her reply was 'sorry for talking so much tonite. Yeah do that next time~.' And then the morning after, she pushed off our next date to couple days later. I'm sure what I texted has a lot to do with this but was what I said over the line? |
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text analysis please
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oh shes definitely not interested at the moment. i wanna know if me being drunk and spilling my bean was the cause.. i mean does my texting look really bad? its hard for me be objective about it.
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text analysis please
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i just wanna get to the bottom of this so i can learn
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Topic:
text analysis please
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so last week i went on a date with this girl, got little too excited over text. did i MAKE her friendzone me or was this bound to happen? i mean i'm just speaking my mind on text and if she was receptive she wouldn't have friendzoned me, no? the date went great too, first date but we kissed n held hands n stuff.
her : Thank you for today. It was so nice to meet you! me : Likewise me : Ill probably miss u lol me : *definitely me : I feel insecure. Can u tell me something definitive? Lol her : Sorry i fell asleep on the train me : Nicr me : Nice* her : Still not home me : Im still drunk me : thats what u get for stayin out late her : Emoticons me : Wtf? Lol me : Lets meet again soon i truly like u i wont screw this up her : I’d like to see you again. But I have to be honest with you. I have too much to work through before giving anyone my heart. me : I can help u work on that her : It’s like this last relationship took something from me. It would be unfair to pursue something in my state me : U call the shots me : What do u want? me : I know im messed up too her : I just dont want to be like this anymore. me : But i know theres hope me : Like what her : I can’t give anyone a million broken pieces her : This is ****ed up me : I saw beauty in u me : Lol i was blinded  me : Uhgggg im drunk lo me : Lol me : Ima call u lol me : No? me : Ill let u be. Sorry her : Just got home her : Let’s talk tomorrow :) me : Thank you me : Good night (bit of small talk here) me : I wanna give you my best. I hope you give me a chance her : You’re an amazing guy me : U too me : An amazing girl her : I am just not ready for to give anyone my heart atm me : So its a no.. me : U dont have to be ready. Id like to believe in miracles lol me : U saw me. Im not ready either. Sometimes we need help me : Give it a chance please. I know something really good can come out of this. I believe it. me :(next morning) ...im sorry i was drunk. We'll take it slow her : Hope you slept well her : I can be your friend but I don’t want to give you the idea that it’s more than that. I’m not ready and you aren’t either. me : I want it to be more than that and i think in time it should be me : I felt happy. I want more of that. Id like to think i made you happy too.. her : Yes it was a great day but I have to be in love for this to be more her : And my heart just won’t allow anyone in yet her : So i am not goin to waste your time |
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how should i respond?
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Hi Actionlynx, i think you may have hit the nail in the head. I mean it is rather what i want to agree with but the chemistry was really too strong. Everyone around us thought we were couples and we hit it off better than all my recent exs combined. and the kiss just happened. Because of this, i got carried away and ended up ignoring the do's and don't's, which i should know well by now. Do you think theres salvaging from this? I plan on just keeping silent then shooting her a greeting maybe a month from now when things are calmed down Oh and she did say stuff about second date being an affirmation, so i think youre a sorcerer, lol. Thanks for your time First of all, Toody is right. If you want to salvage it, communication is necessary. Second, you need to have the right type of communication. So don't pressure her. Give her space. At the same time, too much space will be bad. That's confusing part. That's why people often use the 7 day rule. (Some say 3 days, but it depends upon the situation.) BEFORE you do that though, you need to be willing to admit your own mistakes AND be willing to learn from them, i.e. constructively adapt. But you can't do that while sounding needy or desperate either. (Another confusing part...) Something like... "Everything went so well, I got caught up in the moment without realizing how fast things were moving. You're great, and I was so excited that I was only thinking about what I want rather than considering how you might feel. I think maybe we should both take a few days to think about it." If she's still interested, she'll probably be in touch within 3 days. Or she may start talking immediately. It depends on your tact and where she's at. If you don't hear from her within a week, maybe send her a message saying you're still thinking things over, but you'd be open to having a coffee with her to talk about it. If she doesn't respond within a couple days after that, just move on and forget about her. At that point, she's just not interested. ******** Again, I'm no guru. I just know how it feels to be socially awkward. So I'm just trying to help, even if my approach is off. Thanks again lynx. This is more constructive than i could hope for. So to briefly outline the exchange has gone like this so far- -I like u i dont wanna hurt you ect.ect. -Thank you. How sweet of you, i have a lot on my mind. I need time to think. Please understand So i responded simply 'ok ill let you be' So... Wait a week and send her a casual message? |
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how should i respond?
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Hummm maybe it is past issues ect who knows only way to know for sure is point blankly give a date you can be there tell her if that will not work to let you know when the best time is for her... if she either does not answer you or stays away from a direct answer then count your blessing and move on... at least you tried... Or even suggest she comes see you again and you pay her way, maybe she is not ready for you to meet her friends/family. I know some may say that is pushing it... but hey at least you will know for sure.. well its already gone as far as her saying 'i have a lot going on right now.', so i'm pretty much written off at the moment |
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Topic:
how should i respond?
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is that why youre so cranky, geezer? please stay out of my thread
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Topic:
how should i respond?
Edited by
minglester
on
Wed 11/07/18 08:14 AM
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Hi Actionlynx,
i think you may have hit the nail in the head. I mean it is rather what i want to agree with but the chemistry was really too strong. Everyone around us thought we were couples and we hit it off better than all my recent exs combined. and the kiss just happened. Because of this, i got carried away and ended up ignoring the do's and don't's, which i should know well by now. Do you think theres salvaging from this? I plan on just keeping silent then shooting her a greeting maybe a month from now when things are calmed down Oh and she did say stuff about second date being an affirmation, so i think youre a sorcerer, lol. Thanks for your time |
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Topic:
how should i respond?
Edited by
minglester
on
Wed 11/07/18 08:13 AM
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edit
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Topic:
how should i respond?
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She did reply hours later that she has a lot on her mind. Ill give her space
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Topic:
how should i respond?
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Well i kinda messed it up i think. I sent her a long thing about how she probably isnt interested, but i wanna think its because shes afraid of being hurt, and i wanna prove that i wont do that.
She only responded with 'thats sweet, thank you' Im little too blunt like that and in the past ive only gotten direct answers that saved me time but hers is very deflective. Im confused by her behavior. The actual date was wonderful too. Lots of chemistry with kiss at the end |
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Topic:
how should i respond?
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first date went great, kiss at the end, and then she kinda went cold over the text the next week, keep being iffy about setting up the next date.
so i ask her bluntly- i might have blow it with you but i wanna see you again soon, do you wanna make plans? her answer- yeah let's arrange something soon. my response- i could travel to you this time, tit for tat (she traveled to me last time) and she's read it and hasn't responded. how long should i wait, what should my next response be? i just feel like writing 'if you're just being polite and not really feeling it, please let me know. i prefer direct answers.' |
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