first date went great, kiss at the end, and then she kinda went cold over the text the next week, keep being iffy about setting up the next date.

so i ask her bluntly- i might have blow it with you but i wanna see you again soon, do you wanna make plans?

her answer- yeah let's arrange something soon.

my response- i could travel to you this time, tit for tat (she traveled to me last time)

and she's read it and hasn't responded.

how long should i wait, what should my next response be?

i just feel like writing 'if you're just being polite and not really feeling it, please let me know. i prefer direct answers.'

Move on she's not interested

Find someone who is entusiastic about spending time with you

If she's into you, you'll know. I think you know she isn't, but you kinda wish she was. Move on. Some times things happen that aren't our fault. First date may haven been perfect, but she may not be the one. Maybe the next one will be a better catch.

She travelled to you for your first meet? I used to do that so I get to
decide if there is a second meet.

In your case, she does not want to meet you again. Move on.

I disagree with everyone. How long has it been? Maybe she doesn’t want to seem too eager.

She's not interested.

She's not interested.

I kind of agree with JustBeHonest.

We don't have enough details to really judge what is going on.

It could be that's she's just been crazy busy lately, and has no idea what her schedule will be like. Maybe she doesn't want to make a promise she'll be unable to keep, thinking that unintentionally standing you up would be much much worse than leaving you hanging right now. And maybe because she's been so busy, she hasn't been able to figure out what to tell you.

I can't count how many times I read too much into someone's silence only to find out I had nothing to worry about at all.

I would say -- don't force her into a corner with setting a date. Just tell her that if she can't set a date right now for whatever reason, you would still like to get to know her better, so perhaps you could chat by text or something? Perhaps explain that way when she has a minute here or a minute there, the two of you could carry on an ongoing conversation without any pressure of time constraints. Then when she actually can find an opportunity for another date, perhaps the texting will also serve as a reminder to tell you before she gets so busy again that she forgets.

Then again, I'm no dating guru. I'm just trying to think of a way to help you out.

You don't need to respond a second time,
until she responds to your first response.

Don't be so needy.

Use some pickuplines brah
https://bitsquestions.com/interesting-pick-up-lines/


https://bitsquestions.com/interesting-pick-up-lines/

minglester...
for a person who likes direct answers, I will give you some tough love. lets see how long before someone deletes this reply due to it being so mean..
Your profile is a grey cloud of Hollywood nothingness.
Move on..
she's not intrested...
and build your profile....give details....and you will lose that scammeresque, plastickey, feel that it has... I hope this helps.

Well i kinda messed it up i think. I sent her a long thing about how she probably isnt interested, but i wanna think its because shes afraid of being hurt, and i wanna prove that i wont do that.

She only responded with 'thats sweet, thank you'

Im little too blunt like that and in the past ive only gotten direct answers that saved me time but hers is very deflective. Im confused by her behavior. The actual date was wonderful too. Lots of chemistry with kiss at the end

It would've been okay to send another message, but not that message. It is very needy, no girl likes an insecure needy guy.
The last thing you ever say to a date is "you're probably not interested, but..."
Only people with low self-esteem would do that. And that's not appealing at all.

Also for someone who says he's direct you are pretty vague with what you offered her: " I COULD come over to you, tit for tat."
I don't like the 'tit for tat', sounds very childish, 'I COULD' is again needy like "please tell me what to do" or "I'm not sure yet, but I'm thinking about it."

The date likely wasn't as great as you think it was. Sometimes people realize afterwards that they didn't like certain things or have a bit of an 'off' feeling. A kiss doesn't mean much either. I've been there too. Great kiss, but not the right person. He knew it, I knew it, yet the kiss was great. Chit happens...
Move on, and get your act together so you're not so needy anymore.

She did reply hours later that she has a lot on her mind. Ill give her space

FFS... Are you really thick and not reading what people are saying? There is a better than 50/50 chance that the "lot on her mind" had to do with another guy and wresting with whether or not to tell you to eff you. She is clearly trying to not hurt your feelings.

CAN'T YOU TAKE A HINT? Move the hell on and stop being so needy. Women really are turned off by that.

Now that we have more info to work with, here's what it sounds like IMHO...

#1 - She really wasn't looking for anything serious. You are.

#2 - She's scared that things are moving too fast - even after only one date. In fact, that kiss might be a warning sign in her mind. She may have enjoyed it in the moment, but upon reflection she's afraid of thinking with her heart rather than her brain. Thus it's not all on you - it's her too.

#3 - The distance. When factored in with both of the above, she may just be wary of commuting back and forth. Distance adds stress to dating and relationships. She may not want to deal with that, even if we're only talking about a 30 minute drive. It may be outside her comfort zone.

#4 - The other replies here are right - from what you've told us, it does look like you've come across as "needy" or "desperate". Factor that in with the 3 items above, and the picture becomes much clearer.


Summary:
She likes you, but...
Meaning that she's looking for ways to talk herself out of another date.
While she may *want* another date, she's likely afraid that it would be a mistake. She's afraid that you may see a second date as affirmation of a commitment - something she simply isn't ready for yet.

In reality, she probably thinks you're a really nice and really great guy. You just aren't the right one for her right now.

In case you don't understand that last sentence (because some people don't get it), she's looking for Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Future Right....and you fall into the latter rather than the former.

edit

Hi Actionlynx,
i think you may have hit the nail in the head. I mean it is rather what i want to agree with but the chemistry was really too strong. Everyone around us thought we were couples and we hit it off better than all my recent exs combined. and the kiss just happened.

Because of this, i got carried away and ended up ignoring the do's and don't's, which i should know well by now.

Do you think theres salvaging from this?

I plan on just keeping silent then shooting her a greeting maybe a month from now when things are calmed down

Oh and she did say stuff about second date being an affirmation, so i think youre a sorcerer, lol.


Thanks for your time

I think a man should write Just what he feels about the situation to the Woman he is dating.

Communication is needed to come together or move on.