Women usually know whether they want to screw, kick you in the nuts, or friend zone you in the first 5 minutes. Your fate was decided a while back. People's failure to recognize the obvious goes a long way towards why they fail at relationships and spend far too much time pursuing the wrong one(s).

Hummm maybe it is past issues ect who knows only way to know for sure is point blankly give a date you can be there tell her if that will not work to let you know when the best time is for her... if she either does not answer you or stays away from a direct answer then count your blessing and move on... at least you tried...

Or even suggest she comes see you again and you pay her way, maybe she is not ready for you to meet her friends/family.


I know some may say that is pushing it... but hey at least you will know for sure..

Hi Actionlynx,
i think you may have hit the nail in the head. I mean it is rather what i want to agree with but the chemistry was really too strong. Everyone around us thought we were couples and we hit it off better than all my recent exs combined. and the kiss just happened.

Because of this, i got carried away and ended up ignoring the do's and don't's, which i should know well by now.

Do you think theres salvaging from this?

I plan on just keeping silent then shooting her a greeting maybe a month from now when things are calmed down

Oh and she did say stuff about second date being an affirmation, so i think youre a sorcerer, lol.


Thanks for your time

is that why youre so cranky, geezer? please stay out of my thread

Sorry if I'm not telling you what you want to hear, cupcake.

Cranky is actually a very smart and very good guy.

He's just blunt. And he's trying to prepare you for the worst.

Chances are very very good that there is nothing to salvage. Cranky wants you to recognize that for your own emotional well-being as well as hers.

Am I right, Cranks?

well its already gone as far as her saying 'i have a lot going on right now.', so i'm pretty much written off at the moment

well its already gone as far as her saying 'i have a lot going on right now.', so i'm pretty much written off at the moment

First of all, Toody is right. If you want to salvage it, communication is necessary.

Second, you need to have the right type of communication.

So don't pressure her. Give her space.

At the same time, too much space will be bad. That's confusing part. That's why people often use the 7 day rule. (Some say 3 days, but it depends upon the situation.)

BEFORE you do that though, you need to be willing to admit your own mistakes AND be willing to learn from them, i.e. constructively adapt.

But you can't do that while sounding needy or desperate either. (Another confusing part...)

Something like...
"Everything went so well, I got caught up in the moment without realizing how fast things were moving. You're great, and I was so excited that I was only thinking about what I want rather than considering how you might feel. I think maybe we should both take a few days to think about it."

If she's still interested, she'll probably be in touch within 3 days. Or she may start talking immediately. It depends on your tact and where she's at.

If you don't hear from her within a week, maybe send her a message saying you're still thinking things over, but you'd be open to having a coffee with her to talk about it.

If she doesn't respond within a couple days after that, just move on and forget about her. At that point, she's just not interested.

********

Again, I'm no guru. I just know how it feels to be socially awkward. So I'm just trying to help, even if my approach is off.

Myself I'm point blank and don't have a problem telling someone there will not be a second time...

I like point blank honesty in situations like this. I don't like guessing games or ambiguity. Ghosting is too emotionally draining, especially when you either been given a lot of positive signs or mixed signals.

Mixed signals are worst, IMO. And this situation is filled with them

Thanks again lynx. This is more constructive than i could hope for.

So to briefly outline the exchange has gone like this so far-

-I like u i dont wanna hurt you ect.ect.

-Thank you. How sweet of you, i have a lot on my mind. I need time to think. Please understand

So i responded simply 'ok ill let you be'

So... Wait a week and send her a casual message?