I poem your love.

"'Friends you kiss breathe cologne'? No wait, I'd better read this properly..."

A cracking flirty and tender little number, this poem ought to be served after dessert on a summer verandah at sunset.

And us 6'2" guys don't nearly get enough poetry shout-outs, so big props for that.

Good to finally read one of yours, Bastet. Strong stuff, you found the words when words weren't enough. It feels very freely written, liquid and moving.

Good to finally read one of yours, Bastet. Strong stuff, you found the words when words weren't enough. It feels very freely written, liquid and moving.

True dat.

Shhhhhh!!!! Don't Tell Everyone!!! ;)

Very moving poem, memories of parenting and the flight of time, works even without any other context.

Very evocative, good imagery, really comes across.

Thanks, Ainjel. Been wondering what I should write about next, I'm open to suggestions (or requests!).

Thanks people, that's given me quite a bit to think about!

Full disclosure: I have had two "friends with benefits" in the past who still remain friends, nothing more and nothing less, but without the benefits as they've found their respective Mr Rights. (And fellas; no, they weren't my FWBs or each others at the same time or place, so *that* didn't happen!)

I disagree with Navygirl who wrote:

I respected my FWBs as much if not more than my other friends; we chatted, we went out, we listened to and helped and were there for each other. That may not be the case for everybody; but wanting an FWB does not mean you automatically do not respect those people.

TattooedDude & fireflysgirl - let me know when the ship's finished! :)

Yes, but "intimate encounter" can put off anyone who just wants to chat, and anyone who's hundreds of miles away in a different country. There should be another category, although I'm not sure what to call it.

- Six Hands -

In the afternoon bar of a business hotel
Far enough away from home
I met you and I met you too
To see if what we'd heard was true.

I answered your profile with seven words
Like a taste of things to come
We had a bit of message fun
And then we turned the cameras on.

Whereas you found me on your brave first night
Your avatar a garden gnome
So very shy in words alone
So very shy upon the phone.

We talked about you after cameras off
And so decided to become
A couple for convenience
To enter an experience.

A brief introduction opened your shell
You found a female friend welcome
Our faces in a conference call
As inhibitions gently fall.

It was you in your blossoming shyness first
Brought up that word that ends in some
A thing we felt had passed us by
We all secretly longed to try.

In the afternoon bar of a business hotel
Where we have booked a room to roam.

A little wine to loosen cares
Six hands in hands
Let's go upstairs.

*

- All They Need (Sonnet) -

They miss the closeness, all the traps of love,
They sometimes feel alone, or dropped, or left.
The single people. Logging in, in hope,
And hoping for a number next to "Mail"
Not always there. Their login names above,
Identities for those who feel bereft,
Inclined to cast themselves as ones who fail
And sit, logged in, still lonely, and they mope.
But that's just bad days. Those days can be turned
Around by just a nudge, a wink, a flirt
From those who want to Mingle Too, who've learned
To act, and now: we're long beneath the dirt.

And all they need is contact and a chance,
And that will keep us smiling as we dance.

*

- Worship -

I want
To worship
You from afar
With your fetish
Upon my screen.

I want
To see you
As you see me
The way we were meant
To be seen.

I want
To tell you
And have you tell me
Of the things
We would do
If we met.

And we both want
To leave it
Quite neatly as that.

You should not meet your gods
Till you're set.

*

- I Don't Date Blacks -

I asked her what she was looking for
She said a bunch of stuff
Then said
"I don't date blacks."

Now, this was before the digital photo,
The affordable webcam,
The exhaustive profile.
So I was mostly just a name
And words on a heavy monitor.

And I bristled.
This'll not stand.
And so I planned.

She had no reason,

Beyond "didn't like them",
So I gave her no reason to walk away.

And over chats became warm and light,
She said she liked me,

And over chats became hot and heavy,
She said she wanted me,

Whoever that was.

I found a photo of a handsome man.
"This is me", I said.
And pictured her racist face, slack,
Falling like unrolling scripture,
Having fallen for the "black"
In the picture.

She turned about and ceased to call.
As it transpired, with regret,
I never found out
If, as I suspect,
My plan had backfired,

I may have given her a reason after all.

*

- With a Spoon -

Don't take to your feet
If I talk too sweet
Too soon
There's no cause for alarm
I'm just pouring the charm
With a spoon
And as syrup so golden when seen from above
Looks leaden from underneath
What's viewed as shiny
And fine from up here
Might be more than just bad for your teeth
If it sets them on edge
I'll hedge
My bets and jump to my senses
Like discarded pants and put them on
Put yourself at ease
And give me a squeeze
Of lemon
I can take it
I need toning down
Not turning down like an over-heard tune
A stroke of the arm
While I'm pouring the charm
With a spoon.


[Sorry if you've read these before, especially if you didn't enjoy them the first time. If you have or haven't, I'd love a little comment or two.]

The atheist groans;
Morning after,
Heats burrito.

The preacher hides,
Shamed and silent,
Incognito.

The believer frowns,
His life empty
As his purse.

The sky diver laughs,
In his rapture
In reverse.

Hey, I never noticed that before - an Aoide shaped gap in my life! :)

Welcome to Mingle2, have fun.

Sorry to hear that, mate. Obviously I don't know the situation, but will give you the benefit of the doubt. :)

I'd say you cope with it like grieving. First of all, try to push aside the emotions and make sure everything's in order with your house and your kids. Lean on your friends a little. Don't give in to hate or self-pity or loss just yet, there's a time and a place for that.

This is easy to say, I know. But you've got to give yourself a bit of a steel coating for a bit.

Set aside a bit of time to figure out what went wrong and why. Writing it down can help too - get it all out of your head and onto paper.

I've also found chatting to people online helps. Don't give away too much though, it's tempting to think everyone's being lovely and helpful and you'll do or say anything to keep them making you feel good about yourself. Just got to be smart.

And remember: your life isn't over. Remember, this too will pass. It gets better. You won't be alone forever. And you've got your kids and home, too.

Good luck.

It's probably not going to be very popular here, but is it frowned upon to use dating sites to look for "friends with benefits"?

Most people on here are looking for Mr/Mrs Right which is fair enough; whereas some say they're just looking for friends, although probably a fair proportion of those are doing that with a view to becoming friends with their Prince(ss) Charming.

Having recently come out of what could be termed a toxic relationship, I'm just looking for someone to chat with and possibly more, but without leading people on with expectations of it blooming into a big romance. I just want to be open and honest, but obviously I don't want to scare anyone away. And of course there may be people who are looking for "Mr Right" but don't mind spending time with "Mr Right Now".

So how do you react when you see a profile for someone of your preferred sex who's looking for (what Mingle terms) an "activity partner"? Do you judge them and if so, how? Should dating sites be purely for the pursuit of lifelong monogamous romance or not?

Discuss!

This actually happened, btw, and this is the only forum I feel happy/appropriate discussing it.

Soufiehere, your kind words give me the warmest of fuzzy feelings. And wood.

1. It is arguably atheist already: I don't believe any educated religious leader can truly take their dogma at face value. It stands against reason. Religion is just a label, a pointer, a thing that we all just keep doing to keep it going, a thing leaders use to keep one hand on the tiller and the other in the cashbox.

2. A step back towards the Dark Ages, the sidelining of science, money moving towards conservatism, tiering society further, everyone living under one ideology with transgressors dealt a hard, unforgiving hand. Backwards, backwards, backwards.