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Community > Posts By > MirrorMirror
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Topic:
Love from LaMom
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 Love and Light for LAMom
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 Through the Looking Glass
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 According to Scientology,you can kill someone if you one hand clap a certain way I thought that was the Mob?  Perhaps they can do it too.
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At the Al-Qaeda offices... OSAMA BIN LADEN: Okay people, it's been a while since we've had a major terrorist action. As you can see on this Excel graph, Al-Qaeda Extremist Activity is down 13% from last quarter and 47% from last year. Our stock is tumbling! Other Terrorist Organizations see this as an opportunity. Hamas, Inc. is plotting a Hostile Takeover of Al-Qaeda Hostilities. We're supposed to be the #1 supplier of global threats! Do we really want to go back to a time of peace and prosperity? That's what I thought. Now I'll turn the meeting over to Senior Marketing Director, Khalid Muhammed Ali Abdul-Jabaar. ABDUL-JABAAR: Let's bring it back to basics. We all remember the 4 P's of Marketing: Product. Price. Place. Pipe-Bombs. While the Bush Administration has done a fantastic job of creating hatred for Americans across the globe, we cannot rely on his hand outs. We must do more ourselves. We must be sure to increase despair and hopelessness in our target demographic: young, horny men. Then with intense religious pressure forbidding them from sex, we will turn their sexual energy into pure anger and violence and direct it at America. So we need to be sure that every young man in the world watches nothing but the American television programs "Yes, Dear" and "My Wife and Kids." Then we will have lines 10 miles long of people volunteering to be suicide bombers! And onto more immediate news... this year's annual office holiday party will be in the Grand Hall of the Beirut Holiday Inn! We will celebrate the anti-Christmas! OSAMA BIN LADEN: It's not just about anti-Christmas. We're down with the Jewish customs. Look, just today I was making plans to celebrate Ha-Nuke-Ah! Get it? Ha-NUKE-Ah! HA HA HA HA! ABDUL-JABAAR: That's very good, sir. OSAMA BIN LADEN: Oh shut, up. *** AT THE AL-QAEDA HIRING OFFICE... EXPENDABLE HUMAN RESOURCES: It was a pleasure meeting you for the position of suicide bomber, Mr. Khalid Ka-Boom. We like you so much, in addition to the normal salary of 72 virgins in Heaven, we are offering you a signing bonus of 5 extra-virgin virgins in Heaven! MR. KHALID KA-BOOM: Oh thank you! Just one question, what is the health benefits package like? EXPENDABLE HUMAN RESOURCES: Full coverage! You casket will be fully covered and closed. And your Dental Plan will ensure that all of your teeth are recovered from the explosion. Your first assignment is to read this copy of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Suicide-Bombers." But I'll give you the notes: 1) Blow Yourself Up. Praise Allah! 2) Blow Yourself Up. Praise Allah! 3) Blow Yourself Up. Praise Allah! 4) Blow Yourself Up. Praise Allah! 5) Blow Yourself Up. Praise Allah! 6) Proactively solve problems by leveraging synergistic relationships with a core competency focus to create a win-win. 7) Blow Yourself Up. Praise Allah! ACCOUNTANT NOOMBA KA-RUNCH: Listen guys, I know we're all against this commercialism-imperialism thing, but the numbers don't lie. Our financial sheet is looking bleak ever since the Americans froze our international assets. Would it kill anybody to put a Product Placement in the next Terror Threat Video Tape? Osama, maybe while you are broadcasting from your cave, you can be holding a can of Pepsi? Or wearing an Exxon-Mobil cap? Look at this balance sheet. Our finances are not supposed to be in the red... the streets are... with the blood of infidels. Let's stay focused on the bottom line! *** AT THE AL-QAEDA HOLIDAY PARTY... CAFETERIA WORKER AKBAR AL-SNACKBAR: Hey Boss! Great party! Wooooo! Down with the infidels! Wooo-hooo! OSAMA BIN LADEN: Have you been drinking? You know this is against our Islamic religious beliefs. AKBAR AL-SNACKBAR: Drinking? No! Just enjoying the fruit of the land that Allah has provided us in Afghanistan -- poppy seeds – refined into pure heroin. ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE STEVE “FAST CARS” JOHNSON-MUHAMMED: Bin Laden, baby! Great fiesta, man. Way to rally the troops to a productive New Year! Hey buddy, I was thinking… if you really want to raise morale around here, you might consider raising the commission we get on our black market weapons sales. I mean, I got a family to feed. And I’m saving up for Little Stevie, Jr.’s college fund. OSAMA BIN LADEN: I told you, we need to re-invest all our assets into the organization. STEVE JOHNSON-MUHAMMED: I thought people were your greatest asset. OSAMA BIN LADEN: Only when they are exploding. MOHAMMED MUHAMED MOHAMAD: Time to play "Beat the Pinata!" JU-HHAYTA: What a great idea to make a pinata that looks like Santa Claus! OSAMA BIN LADEN: Beat his candy ***! ABDUL-JABAAR: That's very good, sir. OSAMA BIN LADEN: Oh shut, up. ISHOT DA-SHAREEF: Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! OSAMA BIN LADEN: No! It's Santa Claus! The real Santa Claus! ABDUL-JABAAR: That's very good, sir. OSAMA BIN LADEN: Oh shut, up!!! SANTA CLAUS: So Osama, we meet again. OSAMA BIN LADEN: Hello. SANTA CLAUS: Hello. OSAMA BIN LADEN: How's Mrs. Claus? SANTA CLAUS: Fine, thanks. OSAMA BIN LADEN: That's enough with the pleasantries! We're here to end this skit! SANTA CLAUS: That's right, Osama! HogWild is really going no where with this! OSAMA BIN LADEN: That's enough with breaking the 4th wall! We're here to end our centuries-old feud! SANTA CLAUS: Shall we flash back to the beginning of our rivalry? OSAMA BIN LADEN: Flashback!!!! *** YEAR 1082, IN THE GERMANY/AUSTRIA/TURKEY AREA *** UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN: Boys! Stop fighting! I love you both! 8 YEAR OLD SANTA: No! You love Osammy more! 8 YEAR OLD OSAMA BIN LADEN: No! You love Santa more! UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN WHO WE NOW KNOW IS THEIR MOTHER: I love both of my prematurely bearded boys with funny hats the same. NARRATOR: But the children kept fighting. So much so that their mother had no choice but to banish them from the house and send them far, far away. She sent Santa to the coldest place on Earth... The North Pole. And Osama to the hottest place on Earth... the Playboy Mansion. But she realized this was inappropriate and sent him to Saudi Arabia instead. Both boys felt tremendous shame. Santa decided to work off his guilty feelings by making and delivering presents to good behaving children all over the world. Except for the Muslim part of the world, because that's where his brother Osama lived... Meanwhile Osama held onto the dark anger. He dedicated his life to destroying happy materialistic-loving people everywhere. It was Destiny that one day the two estranged brothers would meet again for a final dramatic showdown... OSAMA BIN LADEN: Now we settle our feud like 2 grown adults! SANTA CLAUS: Yes! Beard Tugging! Santa Claus grabs the bottom of Osama's beard and gives it a hard tug. OSAMA BIN LADEN: Ow!!! Osama grabs the bottom of Santa's beard and gives it a hard tug. SANTA CLAUS: Owwwww! Santa Claus grabs the bottom of Osama's beard and gives it a hard tug. OSAMA BIN LADEN: Owwww-eeeeee! Osama grabs the bottom of Santa's beard and gives it a hard tug. SANTA CLAUS: Yowwww! NARRATOR: This Beard Tugging continues to this day. Sometimes... if you are very quiet... you can still hear the anguished screams of Santa and Osama as they battle for dominance... or is it really for their mother's affection? I don't really know. I'm a narrator, not a psychologist. This is the part where we fade to black as you can still hear their beard-tugging screams as we move farther and farther away. I will represent is like this... OSAMA BIN LADEN: Ooooooh! SANTA CLAUS: Aaaaaaaaaah! OSAMA BIN LADEN: Ooooooh! SANTA CLAUS: Aaaaaaaaaah! OSAMA BIN LADEN: Ooooooh! SANTA CLAUS: Aaaaaaaaaah!   |
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Indeed it could have...  It ain't over as long as you don't give up
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 I've given up
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I've given up
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I wish a Merry Christmas for Little Maddy May,and Wolfchic,and the rest of their family. And same to you sweety!  Saw MADDY And girls today.they are doing real good.Had to wake them up.MADDY was sleeping like an  ,but not for long when she heard us.   That's good
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Topic:
The Beardy-House - part 66
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According to Scientology,you can kill someone if you one hand clap a certain way
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Topic:
Throwing my name in the hat
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Everyone is more then welcome to give me feedback about my profile. It would be very appreciated, thanks for your time.  dreamy
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Fascination quickly fades. Love based on it will fade with it. so true
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The Pain is Real Those feelings and pain are real Give it time to heal. Allow the emotions and tears to come Give it to Him above. Allow the Comforter to extend His grace And wipe every tear from your face. Hold you in His loving arms In His presence you’re free from all harm. Hiding you in His secret place Taking away the shame and disgrace. Remember no more the reproach of your youth He is not distant or aloof. Good news my friends, I want to share There is a God and yes, He cares. Draw near to Him and He’ll draw near to you It sounds so simple, yet few do. Instead we look to others first Thinking people will satisfy our thirst. Needing something or someone to fill that void Yet in the end feeling empty and annoyed. When that doesn’t happen we may look for another, But from experience we know that won’t work, so why bother? Cast your cares upon God and your burdens too When He died on the cross, He took those for you! He came that we would have abundant life Free from worry, resentment and strife To save those crushed in spirit and broken in heart Give Him your hand and embrace a fresh start. God bless. nice
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Topic:
~to-day..shopping...
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a rude clerk misplaced attitude hers to me trying to spoil my day no way in the re-telling she became a bad word maybe she was having a bad day I mustered all my grace and took it in I was polite as sin under her gaze I drew a breath and with a twinkle in my eye "Merry Christmas to you and yours" was my final goodbye  |
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Topic:
Empty Silence
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The silence is defening The emptiness confineing What do you hide inside your nothingness What do you fear will come of this Speak the truth....what will you do Walk the line in time The truth will come....are you the one This emptines still confineing me Your silence speks loudly yet defining I hear nothing....loud and clear Means more to me than deadly lies Whispered in my ear Confine me no more your silence is welcome Confuse me no more your fear has found you The truth has come ....it's time it's done No more games No more shame No more hiding in your nothingness You now see what has come of this powerful
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Topic:
Thin Crust
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Thin Crust Don't use those emotionally crusted phrases, filling the middle with rounds and rolls of heavy, narcissistic impressions,burning and melting the ooze to drip and spill, stretch and burn as you slice a piece of life. Of Me. Raine Les 12/22/2009 wow
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Topic:
Song dedications
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I'm In Love With A Girl - Big Star
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Topic:
Song dedications
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 To Me Don't come around here no more Don't come around here no more Whatever you're looking for Hey, don't come around here no more I've given up, I've given up -- I've given up on waiting any longer I've given up, on this love getting stronger I don't feel you anymore You darken my door Whatever you're looking for Hey, don't come around here no more I've given up, I've given up I've given up, you tangle my emotions I've given up, honey please admit it's over Stop walking down my street Who do you expect to meet? Whatever you're looking for Hey, don't come around here no more http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7gWzWqJu1k  |
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Topic:
Sought After Or Expressed?
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expressed....you get what you give excellent point
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