I can tell you about a friend that works for some government agency that
says the opposite. If you don't have the facts "really" just let it go.
My uncle works for the Department of Unmarried couples and he says 120%
of living together first couples stay together. ;)

I think I'd be satisfied with the somewhat less extravigant Porche 911 -
maybe it isn't the 911, but the one that is turbo charged and all wheel
drive. That seem good enough to me.

In less of course you agree in your marriage (like mine) that there is
no such thing as cheating. No one has to cheat if you can agree that a
little outside fun is a good thing. Most people are too possesive of
their mate to do this - but jealousy is not healthy.

Provide your source. Otherwise you are wrong. Living together is
absolutely a must. It only makes sense - think about it. If you don't
live with someone for a bit how will you find out the real person. No
matter what a person says, or how a person acts during dating you won't
see the real person until they relax in their own enviroment. If you
spend some time being in their enviroment, you will be in their
enviroment yourself. But if some studies can be actually provided I
will retract my statement. I'm not affraid to be wrong, but I won't be
called wrong based on some made up study.

This shouldn't make a difference to people. And anyway it should be no
one elses concern other than the two people. I do know some people
would never do that, and they might have there reasons for not dating
outside their race, but I'm not sure I'd want them to share those
reasons.

I have a theory regarding racism that I adapted years ago. It was to
make anyone racist uncomfortable by calling them to task. So if you
tell me an "innocent" racist joke I'm likely to 1. not laugh and 2. ask
you what year you think this is. In this way I hope that someone who is
acting like "oh, it's just a joke" - next time they will consider
whether they should tell the joke at all. If everyone did this, I'd
hope the last racists would quietly disapear - keep it all to
themselves. I guess I have a dream. ;)

Cheers,
Dave

Just to jump back to the opening of this thread - if I "awoke" with
someone other than my significant other, it'd be all good. I'd wonder
what was wrong with me that I was in bed with someone and I was unaware
of some part of the situation, but I wouldn't have to worry about my
wife's feelings. I would have to worry about whether I had used
protection or not though. I'd be doing a bit of detective work in that
regard.

Thanks you so much for your replies, and for the few new notes I
received. I think I did need to be more realistic and give it some
times. I will keep participating here on the board - as it seems pretty
cool anyway. Thanks again.

Cheers,
Dave

It depends on the person, but I think at the very least you need time to
get to know a person beyond that feeling you have when a relationship is
new. For example, getting married before you even live with someone
seems like a big mistake. You don't get to see the things that are a
part of every day life when you date. If they are messy (which may not
show until they are done trying to impress you), or are you messy and
will that get on their nerves. Gas - human gas that is - does it offend
you? People don't share bad habits when they are still dating. You
tend to be selling yourself. When real life starts coming through, you
sometimes are with someone different than you thought.

I also think that from 20 to 30 years old you are still pretty young.
Most folks just got their independants. They are just free enough to
cut loose and discover things about themselves for the first time. You
need time to figure out you. I definately think if you get married at
19 you shouldn't be having kids for several years, and maybe until 30.
Controversial opinion for many I know - some folks say they want to get
the kids out of the way early and have time to be young again at 40. I
say from 20 to 30 you should be free to not have children and that way
you don't have to drag them through a divorce as you and your partner
grow and maybe change into different people then you originally were.

My two cents - and I am no expert. Just another guy with a keyboard
who's still trying to figure life out myself.

Cheers,
Dave

Granted. Maybe I'm being over anxious. I'll hang in here and keep
participating.

I still would be interested to hear addtional opinions.

I just got an e-mail from someone and they said they would like to talk
more, but they also mentioned that they thought my profile was odd. I
have in this past week had only this one response. I have sent off
several notes (some to people here on the discussion board) requesting a
dialog to start a friendship. Many of these people that I send notes to
specifically said they were looking to make male friends. Not for
dating, romance, or marriage - but looking for male friends. Yet of the
20 some notes I sent out I got no replies, and the one I did get
informed me my profile was "odd".

I'm really not ready to throw in the towel on this place, but I'd like
some advice. I'm not begging anyone to be my friend, but I would like
everyone (and especially anyone who did get a personal note from me) to
look at my profile and tell me what is "off putting". And I guess I'm
looking for honesty here, so if my image, weight, or other physical
thing is hideous, I guess I'd like to be aware of that so I can remove
my image and maybe have a fighting chance to make some friends.

I did ask in an earlier post if people are just looking for life or sex
partners here, and I think I found out that people are not just looking
for sex or partners - so it seems like the right place for me - but
maybe I'm missing something key - and I'd like your help.

I also know the "open-marrige" thing might be too weird for those with
traditional values, and I know some people might think it is not
trust-worthy to be a married man looking for female friends.

Help me out here so I can succeed at my goal of making new friends. Be
critical and let me have it. I'm willing to implaments changes to
improve my ods.

Cheers,
Dave

So what do you think? Good one - or as good as it can get with a mug
like mine... ;)

Anyway, I kept the old one in my pics, but I thought the one with my
bike was better than the one with the rental in Vegas.

I've been married almost 20 years. I've had several conversations with
my wife about this very topic, but wondered what some you thought. My
wife felt that if we had it to do over again, we might not get married.
Not because we don't want to be together, but our bond is not based on a
what it is -Marrige is really either about religion, or about forcing a
legal stamp on your bond. It is less required as time passes, since
many places now allow non-married unions to have some of the benefits -
partially thanks to gay rights I suppose. I also suppose some people
will have reason I'm not educated about, so I'd like to hear that too.
I just wonder, if you met someone who you wanted to be with for the rest
of your life, would it be a requirement that you get married?

Right on to FariesDoFly. Just simply - right on!

Damn, that was well said. I agree. True love is the stuff that keeps
you with someone through hard times. When a disagreement won't make you
run away. When you see all the real parts of someone and even if they
are flawed or imperfect you like them anyway. This is why I've always
said it is valuable to spend quite a bit of time with someone before you
consider it to be "the real thing". So you time to find out if there is
still fire when the magic of infatuation wears off.

This is an odd question, because I'm sure at our core everyone is
looking for love in some way - but I mean by coming here is anyone just
looking for friendship? So I'm not asking if anyone here is not looking
for love, but only sex. I get the feeling that most are looking for a
life match or a mate.

I'm not ruling out developing a deeper friendship with someone I would
meet here, but I'm not looking for love of my life. So I wonder if
anyone has an opinion on the subject?

I do computer support from home. I do love my job as it affords me a
lot of freedom. It allows me to pick up my kids from school, and run
them around for things they need. I can be around to help with
homework, and I've always have food around, so I can avoid packing a
lunch, or eating out and spending money.

I use to travel a lot as a consultant, but that got old. I would spend
a week somewhere, have to go home on the weekend and come back the next
week - sometimes for several weeks in a row. Then it would be a new
city. I gained a lot of weight that way too, and I'm just finally
getting that back under control.

Regarding cheating, or the comment on trust and travel, that is
something people need to really think about when they are having a lot
of time away from each other. My wife and I just entered into an
open-relationship, so we trust each other to stay dedicated to our life
at home, but still can have friends and lovers - if we are safe, and
honest with the people we meet, there is little reason for conflict. We
don't have to lie if we have a fling. We both feel secure in our love
and we feel jelousy is not a good thing.

I think they are cool if they are what you like. I think people who let
themselves be freaked out by that are really out of touch. I can
understand not wanting them yourself, but if you are shocked by someone
with a bunch of piercings you must not get out much. Nipple piercing is
quite sexy to me.

But just like tattoos, they are a very personal thing, and are generally
self-expression in a very personal form. Like much art I find some
things tasteful and exciting, and other thing odd and shocking.

Fosters. I like the big oil can. Just enough beer for kicking back.

Yeah, if you read the last couple lines of my post, you see I do say
that is not the case always, and I do know some very smart (actually a
doctor) who has very big boobs. I was more properly trying to say the
physical appearance has little to do with what will be important later
in a relationship. So the big headlight open the deal, but it is the
interior that keeps the contract going. Sorry if I mistakenly offended
any of the more endowed here.

It is funny how you can sit there as your filling out a web page for
some forum and now you have to pick out a name that has 1. not been
used, 2. has some meaning to you (so you can recall it, 3. will have
some meaning to others, and 4. won't go out of date if you change.

For me the YS is the city I live in, and rider is what I am - a
motorcycle rider. I guess I could be in trouble if I moved. I do think
if someone picks the wrong name, it can show their intentions - which
might be a good thing. You surely can weed out some people just based
on the name.