100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
|
|
|
It’s funny the strange things that run through your mind while cooking but with a ‘look-see’ drink rapidly approaching, I started thinking about my relationship baggage and it dawned on me that I’m not actually carrying any baggage from past relationships....the suitcases of baggage that I am carrying is from what I’m going to call the ‘recruitment and selection’ process of dating. For those of you who may not automatically get what I’m talking about, this is you realising that you’ve started to treat all men/women like duds way before you have even met them. This is way before the thought of meeting them in person has even crossed your mind. You may of only just exchanged a handful of emails but in your mind, you've already rejected them and you're thinking about how to get rid as painlessly as possible. Is anyone else carrying any recruitment and selection baggage? *remember, resistance is not futile and not commenting is always an option  ...i can relate here i think we all can  i to used to think like that ..from about late teens to about 26 and 1/2 ...i had an experience that really shook me....but one day i guess you might say that i had alot of thoughts on my mind personal questions,what if's that i was holding onto,so i decided i was going to open myself up cause i got tired of wondering and i kept a mindset that,hell this is nothing compared to what i just went through,so what have i got to lose-nothing i thought to myself,...later on down the road i stopped being dishonest,i started accepting things that before this i never would have,and i guess took my anger and turned it into motivation and conviction and started looking into my life ...what i need to do to be successful....that one irritated me something fierce lol,but ill just say relying on others failed miserable for me at least so i later decided to self employ myself because that was what is was going to take for me ...it was that simple ...and along the way i learned more ...i started to gain back all the self esteem i don't know where i lost at lol ...that was good...it took a couple years to get what i do working at is highest potential-and i think that it is more realistic to do what your good at then to do what you love,and that you can love what your good at cause it's better to live your life and not someone else's ...some people are just lucky and they can do what they love because they are good at it,if you stay trying to do the aforementioned,i think you only set yourself up for failure..and there isn't nothing worse than hearing someone else doing what u wanted to do bragging about it all over hell but at the same time will give you **** every time you complain about your life ...thats someone else living YOUR life and doesn't give one rats *** about you because it's his or her *** ...and i guess here im now im just finding one more thing that i don't want to live without...my sexy one to be ...just hope i find her soon Actually it was your post that got me thinking..  Personally, I think it's a Scorpio thing   
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It’s funny the strange things that run through your mind while cooking but with a ‘look-see’ drink rapidly approaching, I started thinking about my relationship baggage and it dawned on me that I’m not actually carrying any baggage from past relationships....the suitcases of baggage that I am carrying is from what I’m going to call the ‘recruitment and selection’ process of dating. For those of you who may not automatically get what I’m talking about, this is you realising that you’ve started to treat all men/women like duds way before you have even met them. This is way before the thought of meeting them in person has even crossed your mind. You may of only just exchanged a handful of emails but in your mind, you've already rejected them and you're thinking about how to get rid as painlessly as possible. Is anyone else carrying any recruitment and selection baggage? *remember, resistance is not futile and not commenting is always an option ...i can relate here i think we all can i to used to think like that ..from about late teens to about 26 and 1/2 ...i had an experience that really shook me....but one day i guess you might say that i had alot of thoughts on my mind personal questions,what if's that i was holding onto,so i decided i was going to open myself up cause i got tired of wondering and i kept a mindset that,hell this is nothing compared to what i just went through,so what have i got to lose-nothing i thought to myself,...later on down the road i stopped being dishonest,i started accepting things that before this i never would have,and i guess took my anger and turned it into motivation and conviction and started looking into my life ...what i need to do to be successful....that one irritated me something fierce lol,but ill just say relying on others failed miserable for me at least so i later decided to self employ myself because that was what is was going to take for me ...it was that simple ...and along the way i learned more ...i started to gain back all the self esteem i don't know where i lost at lol ...that was good...it took a couple years to get what i do working at is highest potential-and i think that it is more realistic to do what your good at then to do what you love,and that you can love what your good at cause it's better to live your life and not someone else's ...some people are just lucky and they can do what they love because they are good at it,if you stay trying to do the aforementioned,i think you only set yourself up for failure..and there isn't nothing worse than hearing someone else doing what u wanted to do bragging about it all over hell but at the same time will give you **** every time you complain about your life ...thats someone else living YOUR life and doesn't give one rats *** about you because it's his or her *** ...and i guess here im now im just finding one more thing that i don't want to live without...my sexy one to be ...just hope i find her soon
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
....ok and why do i need to be more outgoing again
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Cold. I can't get warmed up for some reason.   ....i hate the fact im by myself all the time dont know what more i can do about it
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
very important thanks
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
In my case, although at times, I may not be actively looking for someone, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t pursue a possible match based on his profile and/or email exchanges. By stating that I’m not looking closes the door completely when in actual fact, it is half open. I go through phases where I’m actively looking...think I’ve met someone, it doesn’t work out and I need ‘getting over’ time. I’m not going to change my profile if I’m only taking a breather nor (if I’m honest), will I discourage someone if he contacts/emails me during that time. You may call this game playing, I call it leaving my options open. I know this is slightly different than what you’re saying but it is kinda similar in a way. I understand where you are coming from. But I don't believe anyone will just come along who is right for you until you open that door up all the way. I have seen a lot of folks online who don't really want a relationship but they are hoping some amazing magical person will come along and sweep them of their feet and away from all their past relationship problems. So, they kind of put out the message that they are looking. But, that magical person never comes along because there is no such person. Only real people with real flaws come along. It won't be until you open up completely and decide you're going to put in all the effort it takes to have a real relationship that he/she will come along. But most will not put in that effort. They will continue to wait to be rescued. Think you misunderstood ma honey  or I didn’t make myself clear...what I was attempting to say is that when I'm actively looking, my door is completely open but like most single people, I get demoralised or get chatting to someone etc and I take a break for a little while to recharge my batteries so to speak before starting again. Also, as you (probably know), it's emotionally and mentally draining to be looking for a mate all the time. Oh, I’m under absolutely no illusions about a mythical knight sweeping me off me feet. I’m a firm believer in making my own destiny i think a lot of people make this mistake ...but i think we can tell who is really interested and who just wants an opportunity to pull a stunt that secretly they know along thats what they are out 4 ....i like reading your posts girl;)0 Are you flirting with me?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
ok that makes sense i totally understand that about not answering friend requests from strangers ..lol matter of fact id rather chat anyway ...what i do know is this, some sites just do not work perhaps they might be created aimed at one sex,i will chat more i have tons of great things to say...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
one more thing i forgot to mention,i prefer one on one communication with my interested girl...forums are ok but i do this to get an eye over toward my way ....i can only send soo many im's nudge without responds...thats what im getting at here ....sooner or later im going to need to find other women close enough to me that they wouldn't mind coming to meet me to also send im's to and flirt....thats why i call it dedication ...it's really weird to me for a conversation to just stop in an immediate way in the middle of it...it cannot be me if i have them over long periods of time ....so either im being played when they are active or they must not like anyone where there at so she uses another site or not looking at all/not dedicated ...or they are cheating/involved in open relations ...has to be one of those ...there isnt no date if there is nothing going on Try sending messages rather than nudges and IMs right away. Save the IMs for once you've established contact. It may work out better. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
on a personal note i honestly think that women are catching up with men that play people....were lucky to get a single email a day if were good guys ..were the ones signing in sending emails to you women so that you can go through them and throw them all away and try to figure out ...hmmm now who's the biggest bad *** on here ...then all of our time spent emailing just to get 1 response back rarely happens....next phase is she found the biggest bad *** she ever saw and maybe a fast email then bam ...she isnt single anymore leaves the site or doesnt need to bother signing again .....but were still here ....lol aint that right ladies ...guess we better learn to go get arrested for bubba so he can have someone to drop their soap for and we can be good guys then....not a chance in hell im doing that so i guess im sol
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
one more thing i forgot to mention,i prefer one on one communication with my interested girl...forums are ok but i do this to get an eye over toward my way ....i can only send soo many im's nudge without responds...thats what im getting at here ....sooner or later im going to need to find other women close enough to me that they wouldn't mind coming to meet me to also send im's to and flirt....thats why i call it dedication ...it's really weird to me for a conversation to just stop in an immediate way in the middle of it...it cannot be me if i have them over long periods of time ....so either im being played when they are active or they must not like anyone where there at so she uses another site or not looking at all/not dedicated ...or they are cheating/involved in open relations ...has to be one of those ...there isnt no date if there is nothing going on
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
What would be easier is to have a site that is for the people out there that are just looking to have sex and stay off the site where people want to really find someone... Just saying I know it won't happen but it would be nice well actually there is and was for quite a few years now but you can say because of the nature of those sites,what happened was people began leaving them cause the owners started paying women to get on there with cams and do shows and that beget scammers, fake pics, you name it...the list goes on and on so that put the nail in the coffin on those sites and everyone picked up on it because of course they made forums speaking about that very subject so it was just a matter of time that those finally seized...plus, sex is a very debated subject anyhow,always was still is but to me it fits in with relationships because if two people well connect and make it that far well you know sex at some point is going to happen i think so to take that outta the relation in the first place to me just doesn't make sense ...people just have to chose 4 themselves and that will inevitabley cause frustration for others than wanted to be theirs i think |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
wow sofie is right the forum here is actually fun
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
I guess I just think dedication is an odd word to use there. On another site, there are lots of questions to answer. One was asking if dedication or passion was more important in a relationship. For me, dedication would not come until later on, once we've established wanting to be in a relationship. Until then, it's being open to something and then passion once it starts. Otherwise, there will be nothing to be dedicated to. Perhaps dedication is not the best word to use. But it is not a dedication to the person or the relationship I'm talking about. I guess I'm not explaining myself very well. I do understand what you're saying. For me, dedication isn't the right word, because I'm not just searching for someone. well thats what i mean if someone isn't searching for someone then they oughtta post it in their profile...just don't mislead us guys on and lie about why your here...im not perfect or claiming i want someone perfect but honesty 4 me at least goes much farther than just words and pictures used to tell your story when your lying about it....im saying that that person doing so isn't right for complaining about something they themselves are footing My profile is clear about the age ranges/distance when it comes to dating. However it does say that I am here for the forums and looking for friendship. So, I think that's clear enough. Does that mean I won't find someone I'm interested in? No. But it does mean that I don't use this site to actively look for men to meet. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
In my case, although at times, I may not be actively looking for someone, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t pursue a possible match based on his profile and/or email exchanges. By stating that I’m not looking closes the door completely when in actual fact, it is half open. I go through phases where I’m actively looking...think I’ve met someone, it doesn’t work out and I need ‘getting over’ time. I’m not going to change my profile if I’m only taking a breather nor (if I’m honest), will I discourage someone if he contacts/emails me during that time. You may call this game playing, I call it leaving my options open. I know this is slightly different than what you’re saying but it is kinda similar in a way. I understand where you are coming from. But I don't believe anyone will just come along who is right for you until you open that door up all the way. I have seen a lot of folks online who don't really want a relationship but they are hoping some amazing magical person will come along and sweep them of their feet and away from all their past relationship problems. So, they kind of put out the message that they are looking. But, that magical person never comes along because there is no such person. Only real people with real flaws come along. It won't be until you open up completely and decide you're going to put in all the effort it takes to have a real relationship that he/she will come along. But most will not put in that effort. They will continue to wait to be rescued. Think you misunderstood ma honey or I didn’t make myself clear...what I was attempting to say is that when I'm actively looking, my door is completely open but like most single people, I get demoralised or get chatting to someone etc and I take a break for a little while to recharge my batteries so to speak before starting again. Also, as you (probably know), it's emotionally and mentally draining to be looking for a mate all the time. Oh, I’m under absolutely no illusions about a mythical knight sweeping me off me feet. I’m a firm believer in making my own destiny i think a lot of people make this mistake ...but i think we can tell who is really interested and who just wants an opportunity to pull a stunt that secretly they know along thats what they are out 4 ....i like reading your posts girl;)0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
well thats me in a few posts ladies
now i hope you'll see im not going to blow you bunch smoke n mirrors...thats only a little bit though the book of john is very thick ...you like long meaningful messages right? i hope so,most importantly i want you to understand that not all guys are the same do with what i spilled what you will just don't be bad mouthing or sticking me in the same boat or trying to paint me up a loser or dump any baggage on top of me and be like well im a guy and so i deserved that...thats all i gotta say 4 now |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
In my case, although at times, I may not be actively looking for someone, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t pursue a possible match based on his profile and/or email exchanges. By stating that I’m not looking closes the door completely when in actual fact, it is half open. I go through phases where I’m actively looking...think I’ve met someone, it doesn’t work out and I need ‘getting over’ time. I’m not going to change my profile if I’m only taking a breather nor (if I’m honest), will I discourage someone if he contacts/emails me during that time. You may call this game playing, I call it leaving my options open. I know this is slightly different than what you’re saying but it is kinda similar in a way. very glad you brought that up ;)thank you um what im saying by game playing is actually game playing...thats where a women falsely pretends she is interested when she isn't ...im goona clear up this huge at least imo misconception that that is harmless...it is not!!!! in fact it causes way more harm imo than any good at all and that good is faked ...on the other hand it can have the opposite effect on someone as well ..i guess that depends on the person but since i like honesty and value it ..then 4 me no,id rather not have that to happen to me;) thanks i needed to get that across seems like i left holes all over the place than when presented would explain me much better and fill in all these blank pages i find very important about my self for a date to know about me ..thanks again;) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
What do you want to see that they're dedicated to? Before you actually get to know someone, you're not going to see dedication toward you. I think he means dedication to the process. The ability to go into something with a free and open heart. Doesn't meant the relationship will work out....just means you are open to the possibilities. I can be open to the possibility of meeting someone new, but I'm not dedicated to it. If it happens, it happens. and........if it doesn't, it doesn't? So you are a member here, you have a profile complete with pictures and some personal info, you participate in forums, that means you've done all you need to do to find love?.. I am not about to tell you how you feel or why you're here cause you are the ONLY one who knows, but if someone was taking bets and I was a betting woman, I would have to put my money on this horse... "You are not interested in finding love, MIngle is just a way to pass the time, a social venue, cheap intertainment"....  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
What do you want to see that they're dedicated to? Before you actually get to know someone, you're not going to see dedication toward you. I think he means dedication to the process. The ability to go into something with a free and open heart. Doesn't meant the relationship will work out....just means you are open to the possibilities. I can be open to the possibility of meeting someone new, but I'm not dedicated to it. If it happens, it happens. and........if it doesn't, it doesn't? um well i am way outta the city so im really limited and john doesn't do bars...heck, im not even a loud person or that outgoing BUT i still have to represent myself to my full accuracy because if i do not then im playing someone's role and masquerading as someone else and i have to put in my part or else i also need to ask myself that very same question "what am i doing'? so,i mean thats on us So you are a member here, you have a profile complete with pictures and some personal info, you participate in forums, that means you've done all you need to do to find love?.. I am not about to tell you how you feel or why you're here cause you are the ONLY one who knows, but if someone was taking bets and I was a betting woman, I would have to put my money on this horse... "You are not interested in finding love, MIngle is just a way to pass the time, a social venue, cheap intertainment".... I've actually taken most of my profile out. Mingle is a way to pass the time. If I meet someone, awesome. This is certainly not the only way to meet people, though. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
Edited by
733john
on
Wed 02/29/12 02:52 PM
|
|
Im starting to question the reason why some of you women are here? So,any woman between 25 - 45 looking to meet a guy? Yes,i read your profiles but i think you just wana play games when it's been weeks since i last chatted with you....ladies again im being as about as polite as i can be i need more to work from than your picture and profile....if your not honestly ready to at least hook up for fun you need to delete me off your list...last time im saying this start showing me some dedication if you want love instead of bitching about us guys wanting sex all the time ...you need to show us your dedicated...in return for that i will let you in my life and be yours to keep and you will get my heart....im going to start dismissing what i read eventually and my interest will go just to sex ...thats not what you want, playing around is not what i want I get you John!...What I hear is this....You are here to find someone, you are ready, you joined for THAT reason.....But it's not happening because you can't "keep" a connection going in email....I know exactly what you are talking about because I have been down that road...When you ask for advice, you always hear "join in the forums, join in the forums!" " It's the best way to get to know someone, it's a good way to kill time while you wait for someone to come along."....All this is TRUE, but it doesn't apply to everyone...some peeps don't want to participate on the boards, it's just not their thing....So, how do you keep the email thing going long enough to take the next step?....You have to be able to hold another persons interest, you have to be able to stimulate their intellect, make them laugh, give them reasons to want to continue "typing"...Give them enough assurance to feel safe in trading phone numbers and private addy's with you....It's a two way street babe...Are you doing your part?..... absolutely im doing my part,maybe i just need to be more careful about WHO i chat with and i guess i oughta ask questions about why they are here...you know,im not really down on this bullying ******** if any of you were/are doing any of it ...that kinda crap will get someone kicked to the curb so fast by me and if thats the kind of guy some of these women are after IM TELLING YA'S RIGHT HERE AND NOW WHILE I SEEM TO HAVE DRAWN THIS AUDIENCE ...john isn't down with that and that imo isnt GOOD...FIND YOU ANOTHER MAN TO CHAT WITH CAUSE I DOnt RUN THAT WAY thank you |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Topic:
dedication ladies?
|
|
I guess I just think dedication is an odd word to use there. On another site, there are lots of questions to answer. One was asking if dedication or passion was more important in a relationship. For me, dedication would not come until later on, once we've established wanting to be in a relationship. Until then, it's being open to something and then passion once it starts. Otherwise, there will be nothing to be dedicated to. Perhaps dedication is not the best word to use. But it is not a dedication to the person or the relationship I'm talking about. I guess I'm not explaining myself very well. I do understand what you're saying. For me, dedication isn't the right word, because I'm not just searching for someone. well thats what i mean if someone isn't searching for someone then they oughtta post it in their profile...just don't mislead us guys on and lie about why your here...im not perfect or claiming i want someone perfect but honesty 4 me at least goes much farther than just words and pictures used to tell your story when your lying about it....im saying that that person doing so isn't right for complaining about something they themselves are footing |
|
|
|
|
Previous
