Cheating Wife
>
>
>
>>A man, returning home a day early from a
>>business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight.
>>While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness.
>>The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch
>>her in the act.
>>
>>
>>For $100, the cabby agreed.
>>
>>
>>Quietly arriving at the house, the
>>husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the
>>lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with
>>another man. The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.
>>
>>
>>The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous!
>> I lied when I told you I inherited money.
>>He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin
>>cruiser. He paid for your season New York Giant's tickets. He paid for
>>our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he
>>even pays the monthly dues!"
>>
>>
>>Shaking his head from side-to-side the
>>husband slowly lowered the gun.
>>
>>
>>He looked over at the cab driver and
>>said, "What would you do?"
>>
>>
>>The cabby replied; "I'd cover his ass
>>with that blanket before he catches a cold."
>

HAHAHA!!!! This one is great!
Body: CAKE OR BED

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A
FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

"HONEY,
COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW".

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
"FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO".

FINE,

THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
"WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT "

TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
"FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T T HINK SO".

"FINE", SHE SAYS
"THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR?
THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK "

"I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS".
HE SAYS, "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!! "

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS...................................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE, HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

"HONEY", HE ASKS, "HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?"
SHE SAID, "WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED.

J UST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
WHAT W AS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.

HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE".

HE SAID,
"SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?"

SHE REPLIED,
"HELLOOOOO..
DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN
ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!"

DEEP!! but i am so confused now I have to go to bed!

I loved it just proves all the interesting people are always at least 500 miles from where you are right now!

2 o'clock in the morning not even going to try to figure out what I missed here. My insomnia is now cured! Goodnight to all

Green I love Green!!!!!

well best of luck in your search for what ever makes you happy. Just remember when you post asking for opionions you will get them good or bad.

Going out on a limb here but could be that your profile is very short. The only thing it says is "I do what I want" not really a conversation starter. Maybe you should try telling a little more about yourself.

I love the smell of campfires reminds me of the Indian Pow-wows I attend every summer.

THE LAW IS THE LAW!
I really love this one. This is one of the better e-mails I have received in a long time! I hope this makes its way around the USA several times over!



So Be It!

THE LAW IS THE LAW

So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it.

And if the U. S. Supreme Court says "Under God" needs to be removed from the Pledge of Allegiance, then, so be it,

And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it.

I say, "so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen.

I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions.

I would like to think that those people have the American public's best interests at heart. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE?

Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings, I don't believe the Government and its "Hundreds of Thousands" employees should participate in the Easter and Christmas celebrations which honor the God that our government is eliminating from many facets of American life.

I'd like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter. After all, it's just another day.

I'd like the " US Supreme Court to be in session on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter as well as EVERY Sunday." After all, Sunday is just another day.

I'd like the Senate and the House of Representatives to not have to worry about getting home for the "Christmas Break." After all CHRISTMAS is just another day.

I'm thinking that a lot of my taxpayer dollars could be saved, if all government offices & services would work on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter. It shouldn't cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be "politically correct."
In fact....

I think that our government should work on Sundays (initially set aside for worshipping God...) because, after all, our government says that it should be just another day....

What do you all think????

If this idea gets to enough people, maybe our elected officials will stop giving in to the "minority opinions" and begin, once again, to represent the "majority" of ALL of the American people.

SO BE IT...........

Please Dear Lord,

Give us the help needed to keep you in our country!

'Amen' and 'Amen'

These are definitely things I never thought about but from now on, I will be sure to question those in government who support these changes.

hello

Hello Hello

Welcome love the cowboys!!

I saw it on quicksilverscreen.com loved it!!