Community > Posts By > barney2

 
barney2's photo
Sat 01/06/07 12:03 AM
Ha..... must make a copy n keep it near my bed !!!!!

barney2's photo
Fri 01/05/07 09:11 PM
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow.

The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken
to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.

The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found.

So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some
rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his
friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again
and the chicken fell into the mud hole.

The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched
over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull
yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.


Now.....the moral of this story is.....

If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up
chicks.



barney2's photo
Thu 01/04/07 11:04 PM
Here is another one [got this from a good friend.. she likes skirts
only.. especially the married ones] !



Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.




This special one is for [Heather] alone !

How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
Even the pool table doesn't have balls.




barney2's photo
Thu 01/04/07 10:59 PM
Guess so..

The things people do for "some bread" !!

barney2's photo
Thu 01/04/07 09:15 AM
Thanks guys.....

Yabba dabba doo !!!

barney2's photo
Thu 01/04/07 09:13 AM

Thx....... yabba dabba doo !

barney2's photo
Thu 01/04/07 09:12 AM
A bakery owner hires a young sexy blonde who liked to wear very short
sexy skirts and thong panties, not to mention braless tops that showed
of her big boobs.

One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the sexy girl and
glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the sexy
girl and the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of
the raisin bread - on the very top shelf - he politely says to the
hottie, "I'd like some raisin bread, please."

She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young
man with an excellent view of the thongs and the tits, just as he
surmised she would. When the blonde comes down the ladder, he says he
really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.

As the sexy woman retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other
male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a
loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each
trip up the ladder, the sexy blonde seems to catch the eye of another
male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin
bread just to watch the young sexy woman climb up and down.

After many trips, the blonde is tired, irritated and thinking she is
really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is
up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male
customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an
elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who
hasn't placed an order yet.

Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells
at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin, too?" "No," croaked the old man,
"but it's a quiverin'..."


Yabba dabba doo !

barney2's photo
Thu 01/04/07 09:08 AM
What is a lesbian dinosaur called ?


A "lick-a-lotta-puss" !

barney2's photo
Thu 01/04/07 12:22 AM
Hi all....

Please bear with me.....

Hope to hear more from you

Cheers

barney2's photo
Thu 01/04/07 12:20 AM
A lawyer and a sexy blonde with huge boobs, are sitting next to each
other on a long flight from LA to NY.

Curiosity gets the better of the lawyer and asks the blonde with sexy
legs and huge tits about her profession. The hottie tells him that she
is a model

Satisfied, the lawyer introduces himself and asks the hot blonde whether
she would like to play a fun game.

The sexy model just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and
rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, and explains that the game is really easy and a lot
of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the
answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa."

Again, the blonde model politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the
answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you
$50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the
match.

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no
end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth
to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse,
pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill
with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with
a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his
references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the
Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his
coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he
wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50
and turns away to get back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks,
"Well, so what is the answer!?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5,
and goes back to sleep.

Now, who said blondes were dumb !

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