That musta set them thinkin

that was fun...tastic......

...... popiscle....

Well..... it takes quite an effort to ride a kawasaki... but then you
sit and ride don't you ..... or do you lie down ?

Is that the reason why they say ..... what is red and throbbing between
a man's legs... is a red "honda" ...

Perhaps your ex....knew his priorites too well.... but was just too
active and throbbin always... you should have "flamed" the fires now and
then !

Dude..... good one ! and the women and golf stuff !

PS.... Just for curiosity.... what does "harley" mean out there !

No offense, I hope ..... but then to survive species do have to follow
the natural selection method !


PS... Do they really do that in Alabama ?

At a breakfast one day, a wife eagerly waited for her husband to comment
on her first attempt at homemade cinnamon rolls.

After several minutes with no reaction, she asked, "If I baked these
commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?"

Without looking up from his newspaper he replied, "about 10 years."

Do you know why Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage?

He didn't have to listen to her talk about all the other men she COULD
have married, and she didn't have to put up with his Mother!

If you believe in creation as espoused in the Bible, then Adam and Eve's
children would actually have had to have sex with one another for the
earth to have become populated.

This is surely proof positive that Alabama was at one time the Garden of
Eden.

Welll….. here’s adding flavor to the game….. by keeping the same
“slogan” but a different product [say.. condom]


Nike - Just Do It

Tesco Condoms - every little helps
Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.
KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.
Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load.
Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.
Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.
Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop
Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide
FCUK condoms - no comment required.
Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain.
Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile.
Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.
Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
Renault condoms - size really does matter!
Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin
Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in 30 minutes
Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!! (Please)
Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world
AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service
Pepperami condoms - it's a bit of an animal
Polo condoms - the condom with the hole!!!

Now for some basic advise on the product !

How do you make a fish flavoured condom … Stick one in your
girlfriend....

And to avoid condom related accident use 2 condoms with chilli powder in
between them if outer breaks she will know and if inner one breaks you
will know !

Wellll.....

Did she swallow it ?

One helluva dude.... that's direct marketing..

Am borrowing this for my marketing readers ... if ou don't mind !

Cheers

An eight year old kid swaggered into the lounge and demanded of the
barmaid, "Give me a double Scotch on the rocks."

"What do you want to do, get me in trouble?" the barmaid asked.

"Maybe later," the kid said. "Right now, I just want the Scotch."

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.. followed
by.... Yes, I wear the pants in my family..... right under my apron....

The wifes' version.... He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's
handsome !

Wellll...... what to do ... Sex is like credit - some get it, some
don't.

Bottomline... better single !

Never drink tea or coffee at office hours, it will keep you awake !

Neat one....check this out....

Dave, John and Sam were involved in a horrific car accident in which all
three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven, Saint Peter came up to
them and said,

'You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use
around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds and will have your
transport chosen accordingly'

Saint Peter looked at Dave.
'You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times. For
this you will drive around heaven in an old, beat-up Skoda.'

Next Saint Peter looked at John.
'You were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For
this you will forever travel through heaven in a Lada station wagon.'

Saint Peter finally looked at Sam.
'You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex before marriage
and you never cheated on your wife. For this, you will forever travel
through heaven in a Merc.'

A short time later, John and Dave pulled their cars next to Sam's
Mercedes and there he is, sitting on the bonnet, head in hands, crying.

'What's wrong Sam?' they asked. 'You got the Merc. You're set forever.
Why so down?'

Sam looked up ever so slowly, opened his mouth and cried,
'I just saw my wife go by on rollerskates.'

So what is the moral here........ in both cases, ie., the truckers and
to cheat, once in a while ?

When you have the chance take it ???

Welll....... what can you say..... but give another point of view.. So
here goes

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
.... We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.

How about achieving 103% ?

Herein is one answer.

A little math that might prove helpful.

What really is this 100%?

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26


Then,

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

And,

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But,

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And,

B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So dude.... it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get
you close, attitude will get you there, but bull**** will put you over
the top.

So guys, if you are not there, you better add some more "S--T"

Ask an adman, he will explain it to you in detail..

Marvellous..... "piece" of work... however, it is a pity for those in
the priveleged sector... it would have been better classified as
utilisation...

Is there any room for... depreciation.... ie., to say under utlisation
for the old timers and those "unemployed" ??

Neverhteless...... absoulutlely... poli-fic

Cool.... most of us have learnt, most of this the hard way...

But share with some of the "positive" words, or indicators that has a
welcoming note !

Yabba dabba doo......