Topic: Divorce Letters with a twist
catfishned's photo
Mon 04/07/08 12:24 PM
Dear Wife:



I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.



Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.



Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.



Your EX-Husband



P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to Hollywood , California ! Have a good life!

_______________________________________________________

Dear X-Husband:



Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.



I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal , you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.



After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home, you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.



Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!



P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Karla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.


Silkbutterfli's photo
Mon 04/07/08 12:27 PM
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

msdestinbooty's photo
Mon 04/07/08 12:27 PM
laugh drinker :wink:

carefree101's photo
Mon 04/07/08 12:27 PM
laugh laugh laugh ya gotta love it!!

Queene123's photo
Mon 04/07/08 12:29 PM
i have seen this before, and its always been funny, but to let you know it was switched as the person that borrowed the $50 was not his sister it was his best friend, and the city i recall was not mentioned before

dae11x's photo
Mon 04/07/08 12:31 PM
Perfect!

veggielover89's photo
Mon 04/07/08 12:32 PM
Sweet! laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

no photo
Mon 04/07/08 12:35 PM
too funny, some guys just have bad luck !!laugh

boxerpup's photo
Mon 04/07/08 12:54 PM
GOOD JOB CATFISH!!!bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile drinker drinker drinker drinker drinker drinker

Wolfshado's photo
Mon 04/07/08 12:56 PM
i was once told.... the greatest revenge for someone trying to take your spouse is,





to let them have them

Silntstrnger's photo
Mon 04/07/08 12:57 PM
laugh laugh

bigteddybear59's photo
Mon 04/07/08 02:23 PM
u r right wolfshado that is the awnser let them have the problem.