Topic: I need some help/advise
CrazyJ's photo
Wed 01/24/07 02:17 PM
My two girls are 2 and 3 I just bought them a bunck bed set with two
dressers and a new kitchen set. They only seem to want to break all of
it nothing I do seems to help them with not wanting to break there
stuff. Time outs arnt working coner time is not working, I am feeling
deffeted. I just want to run away. I spent almost two grand on this stuf
and they dont understand money I know but what am I supoced to do?

no photo
Wed 01/24/07 02:24 PM
Dang crazy, they are 2 and 3. That's what kids do but not to worry they
should outgrow this phase in 15 years or so. laugh

LuckyLove's photo
Wed 01/24/07 02:28 PM
That's sweet and generous of you -- and when they get older they will
appreciate what you have given them. for now, just cuddle with them on
your lap -- read to them and play monster with them and when they are
exhausted and ready for bed -- they have their new bunk beds to fall
asleep in. Keep being a good daddy -- :wink:

Chuckee's photo
Wed 01/24/07 02:33 PM
have you ever watched that tv show the nanny? Not the one with fran,
the real one, where she goes into peoples homes and observes the
situation and then gives the parents the skills they need to control
their children? It's a fantastic learning tool for you. Give it a try.
Consistency is the ONLY thing that you have to practice. I have 6
daughters, I know exactly how you're feeling. Most of us with children
do. Honestly, give that program a shot, you won't regret it. Hope it
hels. :smile:

CrazyJ's photo
Wed 01/24/07 02:40 PM
I have watched it many times LOL rescue nanny 911 or somthing like that,
they are well behaved when were out in public or when ppl come over but
when it is just me at home with em, they wanna walk all over me and what
I say, it's almost like they wake up and plot what can we do today to
make daddy mad... God I am losing my mind! this is what happened to day
I walked into there room to see what they were doing cause it kinda got
quite, a bad sign. I found my youngest daughter peeing in a dresser dror
with a buch of toys in it and all the clothes all over the floor. How do
I stop this kind of behavor?

Chuckee's photo
Wed 01/24/07 02:47 PM
Rub her.... NEVER MIND, BAD IDEA, CAN'T DO THAT!laugh Now remember I
told you I have 6, I'm just playin:wink: . Just stay consistant. Take
away their toys. Start taking away what they love the most. Remove it
from there room. Just leave the beds in there and put them in time out
in there where you can see them. Even if it inconveniences your time.
Just do it and they'll see you mean business. The horrible part is that
when we put them in time out and when their older, ground them, WE ARE
IN TIME OUT AND GROUNDED WITH THEM, because we have to be there to
follow thru. You can do it, go do it!!!

lily38's photo
Wed 01/24/07 06:00 PM
Crazy....mine are 12 and 10....same shi*, different age. I am seriously
ready for an intervention......That is one thing about having my ex
here....all he had to do was look at them and they shaped up....

no photo
Wed 01/24/07 08:33 PM
I can relate all to well, I baught my kids new beds and dressers in
october and by christmas the drawers were broken on the bed and dressers
and I told them thet they wouldnt get anymore and I tried to help them
see the whole picture by telling them when they were broken for good
they would be sleeping on the floor and i would buy no more my 5 yr old
son who has A.D.H.D BELIEVED ME AND HE HASNT TORE UP THE FURNITURE AGAIN
OF COURSE THIER wasnt much more he could do to it.
it is so aggervating, but the others are right if you take their stuff
away and make your daughter sit on the pot for 20 min after she pees in
the drawer then they will start seeing you mean buisness so please for
their sake do not give up and take it easy and dont loose it with them
cause kids are people too and they will make many mistakes as we do all
the time, you are doing a great job and im so impressed that you made a
huge step and ask someone for help. good luck to you......

whispertoascream's photo
Wed 01/24/07 08:41 PM
My son did the same thing. He is 3. I stopped buying him new things even
when there was stuff he wanted. He did learn quick to treat his toys
better. He knew I was not going to buy him anything new.

buttons's photo
Wed 01/24/07 08:44 PM
ok i say tell them if they break something then u are going to take away
their favorite toy. but tell them first. also maybe stick to stuffed
animals.. ad far as the going potty in dresser help them do the wash. to
clean up after themself.. my kids used to fight for a toy in the back
seat i threatened to throw it out the window well they did it again.. i
reached my hand out to back seat said give it here! well i tossed it out
the window u should of seen their faces as i kept driving mouths wide
open they got so quiet! and ? they never did it again! lol i understand
littering is not good but have taken them to pick litter up too of
others was well worth it in longrun. gl!!!

buttons's photo
Wed 01/24/07 08:46 PM
oh yea bunkbeds for 2 and 3 yr old? hope u dont have them stacked up yet
they are a bit young to fall off the top.

Tneal's photo
Wed 01/24/07 08:47 PM
Step one -- Talk to them, explain to them that you are going to be
taking things away from them everytime they act up.

Step two -- TAKE things away when they act up. I would start with toys.
Then their clothes (leave the old ones there, or the ones they do not
like to wear) You can always put nice clothes on them when you go out,
since they behave then.

Step Three -- Put a chair in two corners where they can not see each
other for time out. Explain to them why they are sitting there. The
time frame they will be there, and what you are taking from them cause
they gave you no choice in there behavior.

Believe me, with 5 kids, this works... They do not like having there
things taken away. When my older daughters were left with beds, one
dresser, a few clothes, NO TOYS and permant noses in the corner, they
straighted up.

Hugs and all my best
T

PS.... taking away TV time works too *S*

michael1313's photo
Wed 01/24/07 08:56 PM
sorry Crazy J

I can't offer any more advice than what they said...

if that don't work...
you wanna scare them with my 'gators?

Morena350's photo
Wed 01/24/07 08:59 PM
looks like you got very good advice JC, but have you ever heard about
the terrible 2's , at that age they are like that.
You have to have lot of patience with them, and talk to them
teach them the word no and what it means, no means no,
and when you talk to them, something that worked for me
was to sit on floor so you can be the same hight, and look at them in
their eyes and talk really soft,
it will take time but it works,
congratulations on becoming a wonderful father!!

redmange420's photo
Wed 01/24/07 09:02 PM
A lot of parents give their kids too much stuff. If ya make them work
for their stuff (like chores and just bein good at that young age), they
will learn to appreciate that stuff easier later on. It may not work
immediately, but the lesson will stick with them, instead of hittin ya
up for $$ when their older. I was given a lot of stuff when I was young,
and am just now learnin how to appreciate the stuff I got. Hope this
helps a little.

:)

lily38's photo
Wed 01/24/07 09:29 PM
Red, I think you have made a very valid point, especially from my
standpoint. That is true, J. I provided all the little perks for my
girls....spoiled them....and now.....If you can get control when they're
younger it will be beneficial.