I sure hope you've been this blunt with her. Sometimes you have to spell it out for wives. Yea I know I'm talking about my sex. Speaking from the voice of experience in a marriage where we didn't communicate, sometimes you have to lay it on the line and be ready to stand behind it. "Darlin, in order to stay in this marriage and have the lifestyle we've grown accustomed to, I need to get some action _____ times per ____" Sometimes there are issues that women are feeling that men just don't understand and vice versa. Have the 2 of you read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? If not you should. We just don't speak the same language unfortunately. Sometimes women do see the light. But we need to know that you want us not just to f*** us.

Thanks for the kind words, polypeasant (hope I spelled that right).

We've done the counseling thing, several times. And we've talked, and talked, and talked, and then talked some more. Fact is, she wants to stay married to me. And she doesn't want sex, except VERY rarely she will reluctantly agree when I beg and plead with her. She just isn't interested in sex anymore, with me or with anyone else.

Yep, I like being married, too. I'm comfortable with that lifestyle. And I don't WANT to divorce her, mainly because I don't know how she would support herself, here or even back home (where she's from, quite a ways from here). Also because I like being with her! We're pretty good friends, most of the time -- except when she's being angry and/or mean to me and/or my friends.

Yeah, I'm in kind of a pickle, huh? Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

I KNOW there are married women out there who are in sexless (sometimes, also loveless) marriages who have thought about finding an outside lover just to meet their physical needs, not to mention to help increase their feelings of desirability. So, where ARE they? Haven't found any yet, on this or any other dating web sites. I HAVE found lots of gold-diggers, and young women seeking "generous" men. I suppose that's true of some women of all ages, everywhere. But the only married women I've found are those seeking an "extra" male for a threesome with their husband. Uh, no, I don't think so. I've been with two women at once, but it freaks me out to think about being in bed with a woman and another man.

No, there are no children of this marriage. We both have kids by our first marriages, but they are all grown and gone and have their own kids. So, thankfully, that's not a consideration.

After one failed marriage which I stuck with for TOO long, making futile attempts to "make it work," I'm not eager to give up on this one.

But, dammit, I want to get LAID once in a while!