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Topic: unexpected loss x2
jesastar's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:20 PM
sad so i found out i was pregnant and finally tell my ex and we meet up at a park and talk things out and decide that the best thing for us to do is to start planning everything for the baby and have things ready and set for his place and mine since we are no longer together he was so excited that he was already planning to take new father maternity off work to spend with me and the baby ... it was awesome but that night i had a miscarraige and i dont have the first clue how to deal ... its killing me ...

ledi180's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:22 PM
Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. I don't even know what to say. Talk about it to someone ok, you can keep that inside!flowers flowers flowers

jesastar's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:24 PM
well my ex is being there maybe not all that he could be but he is there for me to talk to ... i dont know how he is taking it really but i know he was as excited and scared as me and even though we werent together we still had each other maybe i should be more considerate for him about this ... do you think he is taking it as hard or it just another thing?

bastet126's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:25 PM
sorry jesastar flowerforyou

ledi180's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:25 PM
O man, I have no idea what goes on in guys heads to be honest, I'm sure he's suffering a blow too but I imagine your loss is greater - the child was in your body.

kkKen's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:29 PM

well my ex is being there maybe not all that he could be but he is there for me to talk to ... i dont know how he is taking it really but i know he was as excited and scared as me and even though we werent together we still had each other maybe i should be more considerate for him about this ... do you think he is taking it as hard or it just another thing?

If he was that excited,then ye he feels it too.But we're brought up to be the "strong" ones so he probably won't show much in front of you.

Sorry to both you for your lossflowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

no photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:29 PM
I am so sorry Sweety...when I lost a child I was told by someone, that it was because God needed her for something special, keep that feeling in your heart and good luck to you...praying for you

jesastar's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:30 PM
yea that is true i just think about all the places i have been and things i have done and not knowing the whole time that i had our baby with me and i dont want to blame anything or anybody but when we had broke up it put alot of stress on me because i didn't want it at all but i had to get over it because of the baby and what really hurts is how i need him to just be here so that we could actually sit and talk face to face but ... i dont know

crazysillygirl's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:31 PM
it will get easier...hun i had a miscarriage too....

it just wasnt meant to be....god has his reasons for everything!!!! flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

no photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:35 PM
Edited by Random_Stranger on Wed 07/02/08 04:37 PM
You can be sad and upset. It is a sad thing that after that effort, this had befallen you. Although I believe that God works in mysterious ways, the baby was a means to have you grow into an adult and be the bigger, forgiving person to continue some good times with your ex. He may come into your life again, or be there as a good friend.


The Lord did this for me and my ex, though we loved each other very much, no one was ready to be a parent. My Christian friends told me my relationship wasn't healthy, and that I should end it. Eventually, when it was the right time, God spoke to me and gave me the word through my listening hear when to separate. That it wouldn't be easy, even the new girl I met wouldn't stick around, and that I would learn something even greater that I can keep with me and later in life find that right person. It all happened just as I heard it inside.

Some say God has nothing to do with it. But you tell me , when my ex was already a week late and about to take a pregnancy test, and I ask her to say a prayer (We hoped she was not pregnant by the way) and to call me before work right then and there when she finds out. Then I get a phone call as soon as I hang up and she begins her period with no pregnancy.... I don't care who you are.... That was a miracle displayed for me showing He never left us.



I am not sure if you were ready for the child or not, but be humble, for you have another shot now. You look very young in your photo, so I would imagine there is much that you would like to do before you become a parent. Be thankful, and remember this experience to not repeat it unless you intend on seeing it through. Some are not so fortunate, though all things such as this can be a blessing in disguise.

jesastar's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:35 PM
i wish he only knew how much it would help if he was actually here or for us to just sit and talk and or cry just to get it all out

ledi180's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:36 PM
Edited by ledi180 on Wed 07/02/08 04:37 PM
Can you call him or see him? He won't know you need him close unless you tell him.flowerforyou

Artzyone's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:39 PM
I know I dont know you, but there are some good support groups in your area, caring people who understand and have been through it themselves. It does help. Hang in there kiddo.flowerforyou

no photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:40 PM
im sorry :heart: :heart:

jesastar's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:40 PM
yea i have told him but he lives out of town and plus theres a new gf so do the math ... and he wishes he had the gas to be able to have been here the night it happened im guessing he was with her when i first informed him i was at the hospital because i didn't receive nothing back from him til almost 2 hours later asking if i was ok and wanting to know about the baby but like i said i just dont know

no photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:41 PM
Edited by Random_Stranger on Wed 07/02/08 04:41 PM

Can you call him or see him? He won't know you need him close unless you tell him.flowerforyou



Agreed, but if it helps, know that I sympathize with you.

bastet126's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:44 PM

You can be sad and upset. It is a sad thing that after that effort, this had befallen you. Although I believe that God works in mysterious ways, the baby was a means to have you grow into an adult and be the bigger, forgiving person to continue some good times with your ex. He may come into your life again, or be there as a good friend.


The Lord did this for me and my ex, though we loved each other very much, no one was ready to be a parent. My Christian friends told me my relationship wasn't healthy, and that I should end it. Eventually, when it was the right time, God spoke to me and gave me the word through my listening hear when to separate. That it wouldn't be easy, even the new girl I met wouldn't stick around, and that I would learn something even greater that I can keep with me and later in life find that right person. It all happened just as I heard it inside.

Some say God has nothing to do with it. But you tell me , when my ex was already a week late and about to take a pregnancy test, and I ask her to say a prayer (We hoped she was not pregnant by the way) and to call me before work right then and there when she finds out. Then I get a phone call as soon as I hang up and she begins her period with no pregnancy.... I don't care who you are.... That was a miracle displayed for me showing He never left us.



I am not sure if you were ready for the child or not, but be humble, for you have another shot now. You look very young in your photo, so I would imagine there is much that you would like to do before you become a parent. Be thankful, and remember this experience to not repeat it unless you intend on seeing it through. Some are not so fortunate, though all things such as this can be a blessing in disguise.


what a nice read ~ i'm sure you are a great friend to alot of people. pure of heart flowerforyou

ledi180's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:48 PM
Ick, new girlfriend always makes things uncomfortable........do you have friends close or family? Just other folks to be around and talk to?

jesastar's photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:49 PM
yes that was nice thank all of you for your responses i appreciate everything you all have said i hope to read more it helps

no photo
Wed 07/02/08 04:51 PM
Edited by Random_Stranger on Wed 07/02/08 04:51 PM


You can be sad and upset. It is a sad thing that after that effort, this had befallen you. Although I believe that God works in mysterious ways, the baby was a means to have you grow into an adult and be the bigger, forgiving person to continue some good times with your ex. He may come into your life again, or be there as a good friend.


The Lord did this for me and my ex, though we loved each other very much, no one was ready to be a parent. My Christian friends told me my relationship wasn't healthy, and that I should end it. Eventually, when it was the right time, God spoke to me and gave me the word through my listening hear when to separate. That it wouldn't be easy, even the new girl I met wouldn't stick around, and that I would learn something even greater that I can keep with me and later in life find that right person. It all happened just as I heard it inside.

Some say God has nothing to do with it. But you tell me , when my ex was already a week late and about to take a pregnancy test, and I ask her to say a prayer (We hoped she was not pregnant by the way) and to call me before work right then and there when she finds out. Then I get a phone call as soon as I hang up and she begins her period with no pregnancy.... I don't care who you are.... That was a miracle displayed for me showing He never left us.



I am not sure if you were ready for the child or not, but be humble, for you have another shot now. You look very young in your photo, so I would imagine there is much that you would like to do before you become a parent. Be thankful, and remember this experience to not repeat it unless you intend on seeing it through. Some are not so fortunate, though all things such as this can be a blessing in disguise.


what a nice read ~ i'm sure you are a great friend to alot of people. pure of heart flowerforyou



(Friends say) I am the greatest friend ever! Fun to be around and sincere!

(The ex says) You are the worst boyfriend ever! Ugh! Like OMG! Is that Vin Diesel?.............


Thank you for reading all that though and giving me the compliment. It really does mean a lot, and that I am dead serious. bigsmile

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