Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: give her space or what?
Balky Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 259	Wed 07/02/08 11:01 PM
Bluesky I agree believe might've been a better choice, but trust does start now so that's why i chose trust. 6 months is a long time I can't guaranetee I'll be availabe for her since we do live far apart, same with her she can find a closer guy and lead to me being ticked off cause the space i gave her just opened the window for someone else.

Jill298 Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 16316	Wed 07/02/08 11:02 PM
Bluesky I agree believe might've been a better choice, but trust does start now so that's why i chose trust. 6 months is a long time I can't guaranetee I'll be availabe for her since we do live far apart, same with her she can find a closer guy and lead to me being ticked off cause the space i gave her just opened the window for someone else. If you are really as close as you think you are this won't happen... You can't smother her just in case another guy might come along. You are expecting her to trust you but where is YOUR trust in her???

chris660 Joined Sat 06/30/07 Posts: 1	Wed 07/02/08 11:03 PM
backstory: I met a great girl less than a month ago, we've fallen hard for one another in a very short time... we've talked about our future together. problem: she knew all along that my ex wife and i are seperated i've told her that we're divorcing. recently my girlfriend realized that my divorce isn't in the process yet. divorce is expensive which is the only reason i haven't filed yet. my girlfriends mood changed earlier this week... she says she wants to step back until my divorce is settled. i told her that my feelings for my ex wife are gone and i won't hurt her give her space or not? today i got up early to get the info on rolling the divorce process ball, there are no kids or property involved my ex wife and i got it very easy. bin there bro , just because yur papers rnt in order ,does not mean you still have chit with yur x she should understand this, if not she may be to demanding and that can mean trouble.!! jmo cheers mate I agree with what this guy says. Dude, you've only known her a month so you can't say that you totally know what she's like. If you have explained to her all the intricate details involved in the divorce, she should understand it isn't an overnight thing. If she can't deal with it...that's her problem. If she's like this now, just imagine what it's gonna be like when you really get to know her.

robert1652 Joined Wed 11/14/07 Posts: 8447	Wed 07/02/08 11:04 PM
Bluesky I agree believe might've been a better choice, but trust does start now so that's why i chose trust. 6 months is a long time I can't guaranetee I'll be availabe for her since we do live far apart, same with her she can find a closer guy and lead to me being ticked off cause the space i gave her just opened the window for someone else. If you are really as close as you think you are this won't happen... You can't smother her just in case another guy might come along. You are expecting her to trust you but where is YOUR trust in her??? Jill he is not listening

Balky Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 259	Wed 07/02/08 11:04 PM
she says she still wants to keep seeing each other

Jill298 Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 16316	Wed 07/02/08 11:04 PM
Bluesky I agree believe might've been a better choice, but trust does start now so that's why i chose trust. 6 months is a long time I can't guaranetee I'll be availabe for her since we do live far apart, same with her she can find a closer guy and lead to me being ticked off cause the space i gave her just opened the window for someone else. If you are really as close as you think you are this won't happen... You can't smother her just in case another guy might come along. You are expecting her to trust you but where is YOUR trust in her??? Jill he is not listening

Jill298 Joined Fri 11/09/07 Posts: 16316	Wed 07/02/08 11:05 PM
she says she still wants to keep seeing each other then believe her... and trust her the SAME WAY you asked her to trust you. And if she ends up with someone else, then it was bound to happen anyway.

robert1652 Joined Wed 11/14/07 Posts: 8447	Wed 07/02/08 11:06 PM
Bluesky I agree believe might've been a better choice, but trust does start now so that's why i chose trust. 6 months is a long time I can't guaranetee I'll be availabe for her since we do live far apart, same with her she can find a closer guy and lead to me being ticked off cause the space i gave her just opened the window for someone else. If you are really as close as you think you are this won't happen... You can't smother her just in case another guy might come along. You are expecting her to trust you but where is YOUR trust in her??? Jill he is not listening I love these new smileys

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Wed 07/02/08 11:07 PM
she says she still wants to keep seeing each other Then I don't understand the question...or why you would might find yourself unavailable to her after the six months your divorce will take.

Balky Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 259	Wed 07/02/08 11:07 PM
I'm listening just tough to keep up with so many thoughts

Balky Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 259	Wed 07/02/08 11:09 PM
she wants to keep seeing each other but take things slower... we've seen each other each week since we met which was the 8th of last month.

boneyjoe Joined Sun 12/09/07 Posts: 6196	Wed 07/02/08 11:09 PM
ditto what gypsi says,,,if you an yor wife are agreeing on equal divorce an th dividing of yall personal properitys,,,,,,then at most cort houses have what they call a divorce kit,,,,,,youan ur wifecan set down together fill it out an file it,,,,,i don't think it cos 200 bucks here in florida,,,,,,,,but it works just as well,,,,,,as far as your present gurlfriend,,,,,,let her have her space,,,,,,all she wants,,,,,,,cause it could be very possible if you try to hang on to her it could cause problems,,,,,,,an on th second hand,,,,,she could be wanting marrage also,,,,,but by then you will know how to fill out th next set of divorce papers,,,,,,,good luck

Balky Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 259	Wed 07/02/08 11:11 PM
I think she should believe in me in my words... i am trying to fix this now i can't fix this overnight, it's only 320 but it's still too much when i got no job. now i got a job but gotta catch up on much needed bills

BlueskyJ Joined Tue 06/26/07 Posts: 2927	Wed 07/02/08 11:11 PM
she says she still wants to keep seeing each other then believe her... and trust her the SAME WAY you asked her to trust you. And if she ends up with someone else, then it was bound to happen anyway. true & divorces take a minimum of 6 months, so i wouldn't wait for the divorce to be finalized, just submitted.... but you are still wrapped up in the emotions of a new relationship.....if you give it too much space it will wear off or one of you will lose interest....if you both truly like each other this relationship is gonna take a lot of work & committment, especially with the distance you've got to deal with....i wish you the best in making it happen... and get that divorce started!!!!

robert1652 Joined Wed 11/14/07 Posts: 8447	Wed 07/02/08 11:12 PM
I'm listening just tough to keep up with so many thoughts the way to listen is to let people offer their thoughts go away read and re read them and make your mind up instead of trying to defend yourself no one here attempts to say you are wrong they offer their experiences but you appear to rebuff them

Random_Stranger Joined Wed 05/02/07 Posts: 2409	Wed 07/02/08 11:12 PM
Give her space dude. Nobody can think clearly when they are uncomfortable. She is willing to stick around, be thankful enough for that.

Balky Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 259	Wed 07/02/08 11:12 PM
my current gf does want marriage we've talked about that, i'm willing to do it in the future

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Wed 07/02/08 11:13 PM
Balky, my guy is having to wait too. My job will probably only allow us to see each other a few times over the next few months, but he is waiting patiently...and we have not even met in person yet. If you believe in someone and what you mean to each other, you can wait together. We have already waited 2 1/2 months just to meet and neither of us are dead yet.

robert1652 Joined Wed 11/14/07 Posts: 8447	Wed 07/02/08 11:15 PM
I think she should believe in me in my words... i am trying to fix this now i can't fix this overnight, it's only 320 but it's still too much when i got no job. now i got a job but gotta catch up on much needed bills I have spent 35000 and with no lover at sight this is the money I dont have and may never be able to repay sunshine you are lucky You think getting up 7 am is a deal? last 18 years at 7 am I have had already 2 hours of work done going home 7 pm at night

Balky Joined Sun 01/06/08 Posts: 259	Wed 07/02/08 11:16 PM
i got lots on my mind thats why i keep responding. i will reread everyones advice and gather my thoughts