Eighth Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an
18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran,' accidentally, jogged off a
100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting
in a beach chair at the bottom! When it t collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach
used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy
equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing.
Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the
base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms
intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up! and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was
pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the
shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons.
No one else was hurt.

HONOURABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of
dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had
bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men
trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that
no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of
lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other ! ;to the bridge.
His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle.. He miraculously survived his fall into
the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

... AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative
and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators
say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head
on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Sh * t happens'


Dont forget to thank these kind folks for doing us all a favour and removing themselves from the gene pool for the benefit of mankind

Belushi, good to see you and I see your sense of humor has not gone anywhere.......

omg

Hey!
Its Da-doo Ron, Ron, Ron, Da-dooo Ron, Ron ...

How are you bud?

Dont forget to thank these kind folks for doing us all a favour and removing themselves from the gene pool for the benefit of mankind







Thanks your post is soooooo funny!

Hold up, I heard that suffocated as he was buried in elephant dung one before. I think something is fishy, I think this might have been rigged! Or, people need to start being incredibly cautious around and elephants butt, which I don't think needs to be stated even once :D

What a way to go...

the darwin awards crack me up lol

Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms
intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up! and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was
pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the
shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons.
No one else was hurt.


Dumb arse!!!

Finally! Something on these forums that I actually thought was funny and interesting! Right on! Now, my lunch hour wasn't completely wasted! Thanks man!