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| Topic: Why do SOME people give up so easily? | |
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Just thinking out loud here and I'm not applying this to everyone....
Why is it when someone posts a problem they are having in their relationship, there are replies like: Move on.....he/she isn't worth the trouble...dump him/her...etc. I can understand replies like this if the poster was stating that the person was cheating, disrespectful, or abusive. But when a person is saying something to the effect of "I haven't heard from him/her in a day or two" or "They are so busy with work and kids, they don't have time for me" or something along those lines, those replies really make me wonder. Don't people realize that it takes hard work, effort, and patience to make a relationship work? Why would you advise the poster to give up so easily? It makes me wonder if those people that give those kind of replies are really putting an effort to make a relationship work themselves or if they give up just as easily? |
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Just thinking out loud here and I'm not applying this to everyone.... Why is it when someone posts a problem they are having in their relationship, there are replies like: Move on.....he/she isn't worth the trouble...dump him/her...etc. I can understand replies like this if the poster was stating that the person was cheating, disrespectful, or abusive. But when a person is saying something to the effect of "I haven't heard from him/her in a day or two" or "They are so busy with work and kids, they don't have time for me" or something along those lines, those replies really make me wonder. Don't people realize that it takes hard work, effort, and patience to make a relationship work? Why would you advise the poster to give up so easily? It makes me wonder if those people that give those kind of replies are really putting an effort to make a relationship work themselves or if they give up just as easily? sad but true, because misery loves company. |
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Very good point MsCarmen! I have wondered that many times myself. If someone is having an issue, it seems like most people would be prone to sharing their own experiences...is that really "move on" for so many?
People do have lives that relationships have to work around. If you care about someone, you give your support to them...even if all you can do is to show some patience and understanding. 
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It is a disposable world now, and some, I said some, not all, people are so use to just throwing it away and moving on to bigger and better. Some, ( read above about some
 )Younger folks dont know the rewards of a relationship made from hard work, growth and time.
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Just thinking out loud here and I'm not applying this to everyone.... Why is it when someone posts a problem they are having in their relationship, there are replies like: Move on.....he/she isn't worth the trouble...dump him/her...etc. I can understand replies like this if the poster was stating that the person was cheating, disrespectful, or abusive. But when a person is saying something to the effect of "I haven't heard from him/her in a day or two" or "They are so busy with work and kids, they don't have time for me" or something along those lines, those replies really make me wonder. Don't people realize that it takes hard work, effort, and patience to make a relationship work? Why would you advise the poster to give up so easily? It makes me wonder if those people that give those kind of replies are really putting an effort to make a relationship work themselves or if they give up just as easily? Because for the most part it's the blind leading the blind around here. Why anybody would seek relationship advice on a dating site (where mostly everyone on the site is looking for a relationship and not in one) is beyond me. JMHO. |
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Very good point MsCarmen! I have wondered that many times myself. If someone is having an issue, it seems like most people would be prone to sharing their own experiences...is that really "move on" for so many? People do have lives that relationships have to work around. If you care about someone, you give your support to them...even if all you can do is to show some patience and understanding. Thank you And I totally agree.
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I totally agree. Relationships take a lot of work, no one is perfect so there will always be mistakes. Some things you should never put up with... but most things can be forgiven and move on.
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It is a disposable world now, and some, I said some, not all, people are so use to just throwing it away and moving on to bigger and better. Some, ( read above about some )Younger folks dont know the rewards of a relationship made from hard work, growth and time. Exactly. And then you hear, I screwed up, I wish I would never have given up on what we had" all because they were to quick to give up in the first place. |
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It is a disposable world now, and some, I said some, not all, people are so use to just throwing it away and moving on to bigger and better. Some, ( read above about some )Younger folks dont know the rewards of a relationship made from hard work, growth and time. Exactly. And then you hear, I screwed up, I wish I would never have given up on what we had" all because they were to quick to give up in the first place. Grass is always greener syndrome? |
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one thing you have to remember on here too is you are only getting one side of the story. The author of it may be imbelishing it a lil to make them more of the victim...
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one thing you have to remember on here too is you are only getting one side of the story. The author of it may be imbelishing it a lil to make them more of the victim... And this is the internet.... so half of these "people" may be bots anyway. |
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Edited by
MLG40
on
Tue 07/15/08 08:38 AM
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Just thinking out loud here and I'm not applying this to everyone.... Why is it when someone posts a problem they are having in their relationship, there are replies like: Move on.....he/she isn't worth the trouble...dump him/her...etc. I can understand replies like this if the poster was stating that the person was cheating, disrespectful, or abusive. But when a person is saying something to the effect of "I haven't heard from him/her in a day or two" or "They are so busy with work and kids, they don't have time for me" or something along those lines, those replies really make me wonder. Don't people realize that it takes hard work, effort, and patience to make a relationship work? Why would you advise the poster to give up so easily? It makes me wonder if those people that give those kind of replies are really putting an effort to make a relationship work themselves or if they give up just as easily? I come in peace... I see your point here. For some it is a sign to the other person that they have moved on. Thinking if they are not further responding with a simple "I am busy, will have time to chat in...” after a few days, this would show more of a sign. Now granted something may have happened in their life, but why could they not give a short email to say hi? And chasing someone seems a bit desperate; this is what I have made from viewing post on this site. How would it make you feel when someone does not take a few moments to reply to your sending email to them after a few days? I would also feel the need to say that a day or two is not that long, So no real reason to give up so soon. I have seen were people post as to wait a few days before responding so as not to seem desperate. I have not dated in many of years, so I am not sure what the time line should be to respond back and fourth. Its a crazy mixed up world. 
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Don't people realize that it takes hard work, effort, and patience to make a relationship work? Why would you advise the poster to give up so easily? It makes me wonder if those people that give those kind of replies are really putting an effort to make a relationship work themselves or if they give up just as easily? <---- my thoughts too!
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If I see a post that says anything to the effect of being called names, being stood up, cheated, any kind of abuse, the first thing I will do is say move on, get rid of him / her.
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Edited by
franshade
on
Tue 07/15/08 08:40 AM
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Don't people realize that it takes hard work, effort, and patience to make a relationship work? Why would you advise the poster to give up so easily? It makes me wonder if those people that give those kind of replies are really putting an effort to make a relationship work themselves or if they give up just as easily? <---- my thoughts too! Mine as well, which is why I posted misery loves company. Some people truly wouldnt have a clue as to how to make a relationship work, so instead of opting to not participate, they'd rather call it quits. Providing negative info/feedback instead of positive ones. |
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Don't people realize that it takes hard work, effort, and patience to make a relationship work? Why would you advise the poster to give up so easily? It makes me wonder if those people that give those kind of replies are really putting an effort to make a relationship work themselves or if they give up just as easily? <---- my thoughts too! Mine as well, which is why I posted misery loves company. Some people truly wouldnt have a clue as to how to make a relationship work, so instead of opting to not participate, they'd rather call it quits. Proving negative info/feedback instead of positive ones. |
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most will opt for the easy way in/out
when in reality if you can obtain that easy, is it worth it? |
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I give up, why do they???
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Just thinking out loud here and I'm not applying this to everyone.... Why is it when someone posts a problem they are having in their relationship, there are replies like: Move on.....he/she isn't worth the trouble...dump him/her...etc. I can understand replies like this if the poster was stating that the person was cheating, disrespectful, or abusive. But when a person is saying something to the effect of "I haven't heard from him/her in a day or two" or "They are so busy with work and kids, they don't have time for me" or something along those lines, those replies really make me wonder. Don't people realize that it takes hard work, effort, and patience to make a relationship work? Why would you advise the poster to give up so easily? It makes me wonder if those people that give those kind of replies are really putting an effort to make a relationship work themselves or if they give up just as easily? I come in peace... I see your point here. For some it is a sign to the other person that they have moved on. Thinking if they are not further responding with a simple "I am busy, will have time to chat in...” after a few days, this would show more of a sign. Now granted something may have happened in their life, but why could they not give a short email to say hi? And chasing someone seems a bit desperate; this is what I have made from viewing post on this site. How would it make you feel when someone does not take a few moments to reply to your sending email to them after a few days? I would also feel the need to say that a day or two is not that long, So no real reason to give up so soon. I have seen were people post as to wait a few days before responding so as not to seem desperate. I have not dated in many of years, so I am not sure what the time line should be to respond back and fourth. Its a crazy mixed up world. Thank you for posting this ... this is sort of where my thoughts were at. I tend to be the one who hangs on toooo long - hoping, waiting, praying 'this one' is going to be different (so far, they haven't been). I guess the 'move on', 'NEXT' advice is something I have needed to be reminded of sometimes, b/c rather than being too selective, I settle too easily and wonder why I'm repeatedly disappointed when someone who 'seemed' interested in building a friendship/relationship suddenly *poof* vanishes without explanation after 3.47 days. *shrug* Just my random thoughts from the other side of the coin, I guess. |
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If I see a post that says anything to the effect of being called names, being stood up, cheated, any kind of abuse, the first thing I will do is say move on, get rid of him / her. 
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