Awww, you're too good to me! It's official ... I'm having my Last Will & Testament changed today and leaving you get all my wordly "treasures" - hope you've got room on your mantle for my Top Shorthand Writer in Ontario '87 trophy!

Watch your back, TK ... "seriously"!

*sleepy smile and a wave hello* Here for a little while ... trying to unwind after an 'ugh' day.

Sometimes I think I've just wasted a year of my life -- I bent over backwards to make life easier for the kids (but ultimately, it made HIS life easier) and instead of gratitude or recognition of that from him, he's become accustomed to me catering to him. I felt at the time I left that a court battle would have destroyed all of us - financially, emotionally, etc. ... but in retrospect, it appears it's going to come down to that anyway, and all I've done is prolong the agony. Why, why, why does the 'right thing' not seem to count in these situations?!

I am so sorry to hear about your pain -- wow, that makes my frustration seem like nothing in comparison - that is suffering on a completely different level.

I'm so glad to hear I'm not alone! It's hard not to blame myself or feel like a fool for the free reign I've allowed him to have - because now he's used to it and can't understand why I'm putting my foot down.

The thing is, he comes across to everyone else as the ultimate 'Mr. Nice Guy, Father of the Year', etc. ... but behind closed doors his passive-aggressive behaviour and cold heartedness is mind boggling ... it's hard to combat 'mere words' but the devastation is the same as if it was physical attacks.

I don't want to be backed into a corner, but when it comes to my kids - look out - mama lion on the loose!

I think you're right - the longer this drags out, the more I realize that I'm fighting a losing battle ... he just doesn't 'get it' and it's beyond frustrating. I so badly wanted us to work together for the kids' sake and to make this as 'simple' and painless as possible for all - he's not allowing that to happen (unless, of course, I'm willing to give in to every and any one of his wishes).

Has anyone else made concessions to keep the peace with their ex and make things easier for their kids ... only to create a situation where the other party now assumes they get to call ALL the shots and have everything accomodate them?

I'm at a complete loss for how to protect my rights without being adversarial and confrontational. My ex continually bulldozes over all my wishes and, apart from dealing with the courts (which it may come down to), I have no idea how to put an end to it. HELP?!

Sounds like the timing is off ... when a situation is 'right' you don't have to work that hard to make the connection happen. Seems as though other things in your life need to be a priority right now other than a relationship - maintain a friendship if you can (or care to) via the distance in the meantime, but don't expect that person to wait on anything romantic. You're in a tough bind ... I feel for you!

GREAT idea -- a creative outlet for all your different feelings is not only productive, but very therapeutic ... wish I had that skill! Sounds like you have a positive outlook and are coping well. Hang out here when you're feeling the need to vent - we're pretty good listeners (when we're not being smartasses ).

She may look to you as someone who can 'save her' from her unhappy/unhealthy relationship and that would concern me - you want to be sure that the feelings she has for you are separate and apart of her situation with him.

IF and when she's able to distance herself from him, I'm thinking she would need some time to properly heal and settle again -- as tempting as it might be to jump right into a relationship with you, those situations rarely work out long term.

You deserve a partner who can give to you as much as you give to them, imo. Doesn't in ANY way mean you can't or shouldn't continue to be a loyal, supportive and caring FRIEND -- just leave the romance stuff out of it for now (if possible).

Just my thoughts - best of luck to you both ... life and love are tough and not for the faint of heart.

Nice to hear others say what I'm often feeling ... I don't miss the relationship and know it couldn't last, but there's a sense of loss - and guilt over how it affects the kids. I hope it lessens with time, but I think I'd be more concerned if I didn't feel conflicted ... ending a marriage is a serious thing and my pain tells me that I was invested in the union and I did want to make it work.

Mmmmm ... cookies!

*hands the wolf a warm cookie and a glass of cold milk as his reward*

Guys ... my chocolate chips are gonna melt if you keep makin' me feel all warm'n fuzzy inside!

Just stop calling, emailing, etc. ... if/when he eventually notices, tell him 'Oh, sorry, don't you remember? I broke up with you weeks ago, guess you weren't listening!'

3 years? You're only 18? Don't look back - enjoy your youth and the endless possibilities before you!

You just gave me my first laugh of the day (and it's practically bedtime here) ... so a HUGE thank you!

your boring bored post put me to sleep ... thanks!