ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 03:03 PM
Edited by ElaineSeekingJerry on Wed 07/23/08 03:04 PM

I adore kids so it wouldn't really matter to me one way or the other. And I have gotton 6 to adulthood (only 2 of which were of my body) without killing anyone :laughing:


Hey, that's no small feat (hey, summer vacation alone is enough to do a person in!! :tongue: ), so you have both my respect and admiration! drinker

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 02:53 PM
I knew there was a reason I gave you a glowing testimonial and made you one of my Favourites! :wink:

Very well put ... as usual, TK.

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 01:58 PM



single...but crushingoops


oooh! details ... we need details! drool

(sorry, living vicariously through you today winking )

Single - although I did have a marriage proposal from a complete stranger last night, so things could turn on a dime surprised


rofl I plead the 5th!blushing

A proposal??? oh WOW! What did you say?:tongue:


I think the sound of me closing the IM window button was the only answer he needed! scared

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 01:01 PM
Good advice and a good 'push' ... thanks, RO! drinker

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 12:13 PM

I'll be completely honest. If I had a choice, I'd choose A. I've never been married before, so it would be nice to jump into it with someone that hasn't done it before either.

Now let's be realistic. You don't get to choose where your heart takes you, so I'd follow it down any of the four paths offered.


Completely agree on your last point - but I think on a site like this, when you're looking at profiles and deciding (anonymously, from the comfort and distance of your own home) who you will/won't contact, these factors MUST come into play, even slightly, if people are honest. I just enjoy hearing people's thoughts, so thanks for yours! (If I was in your position I think I'd likely prefer A too.)

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 12:08 PM
Thanks for taking the time to explain your rationale, hesearches - I really appreciate that. I think deep down most of us do indeed have a preference, whether we're willing to admit it or not. I have my own concerns with each of the 'choices' outlined - bringing someone into my life, as well as my children's is going to be a huge adjustment and it's not one I take lightly (nor do I mean to imply that others do).

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 11:58 AM

single...but crushingoops


oooh! details ... we need details! drool

(sorry, living vicariously through you today winking )

Single - although I did have a marriage proposal from a complete stranger last night, so things could turn on a dime surprised

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 11:31 AM



I wouldn't care...just want a mate...I get along great with kidsdrinker drinker drinker


But do you worry about how someone who didn't have children of her own might interact with your children?

yes...and thats why I'm still single:cry:


I hear ya ... it's a tough spot to be in. I guess I remember what I was like before I had kids of my own - and how much I now realize I didn't know *humble laugh* about how gruelling (and rewarding, no question) the process of raising children can be - it would take someone special to step in and fill that role for my kids, esp. because they already have an incredible father. Hmmm ...

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 11:28 AM

A, B, and maybe C...I usually don't deal with divorced men but if they don't have any kids...I may make an exception.


I appreciate your honesty and input. I realize that we rarely get to 'pick and choose' all the ingredients that go in to making up our 'ideal' partner, but it's interesting to know what people lean towards, if given the option.

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 11:25 AM



I wouldn't care...just want a mate...I get along great with kidsdrinker drinker drinker


But do you worry about how someone who didn't have children of her own might interact with your children?


There are plenty of people who do not have kids who would get along well with kids.


I agree. I think being a step-parent would be a tough role to play, however, and they'd have to be a really strong person to put up with possible jealousy from the kids, the ex, etc. Glad to hear so many people are open to the idea - makes me more optimistic about my prospects!

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 11:21 AM

It wouldn't really matter to me.


No preference at all? You must be very open-minded and accepting ... great qualities! flowerforyou

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 11:19 AM

I've never been married and have no kids so ideally I'd like someone in the same boat


I can totally understand and appreciate that. Thanks for your input!

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 11:18 AM

I wouldn't care...just want a mate...I get along great with kidsdrinker drinker drinker


But do you worry about how someone who didn't have children of her own might interact with your children?

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 11:17 AM
Does anyone worry about the dynamics of bringing two families together, though? I guess I haven't seen a lot of 'success' stories in this regard and it makes me a little hesitant.

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 11:14 AM
If you were to enter into a serious relationship, which category would your "ideal" mate fall into? (assume they had all the other qualities you're looking for):

a) never married with no children
b) never married with children
c) divorced with no children
d) divorced with children

Feel to explain your rationale as well ...

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 11:03 AM


I think you should go anyways you've missed out on so much.I know you wanted your other child to go as well but if that isn't possible than you could consider going by yourself .It probaly would mean alot to your daughterflowers
yea it looks like i will have to go by myself.i can do that.you see my mom is geting close to death and it would have been good if she could see her one time in 19 years.some thing in life kinda suck hey


Yeah, that does suck -- sorry to hear about your Mom's ailing health. Relationships can be so complex and the pain very deep. I hope that things will improve for all of you as time progresses - try to stay positive; sounds like you've got all your children's best interests at heart, and that will be rewarded, I truly believe that.

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 11:01 AM
Being the 'bigger person' is exasperating and frustrating - but this has got to be one of those times ... do NOT miss this occasion to be there for your daughter (even if it doesn't seem of paramount importance to her now -- it likely will as she ages). Take a deep breath, remind yourself that this is all and only about supporting your daughter, and let the rest go.

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 10:55 AM
Wouldn't that be a relief - to be able to just unburden ourselves of the insecurities and self-doubt? To know that all our 'dark' would be received with as open arms as our 'light'?

Thank you for that ...

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Wed 07/23/08 07:55 AM
Now see? This is the kind of silly advice that gives people (ya know the ones - no photo, headline says "Looking for Mrs. Older" or something equally sauve) the green light to IM me out of thin air and in the second sentence tell me they want to marry me! Quit laughing, it happened to me last night! surprised

PLEASE stop telling people to express their feelings! slaphead

winking

ElaineSeekingJerry's photo
Tue 07/22/08 08:53 PM
Ya lost me, brother! spock

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