My Kids are more important to me than any man,Stand up and tell the truth....

i think i could get over someone not telling me about children easier then not telling me they are married!!! if you plan to stay married, you should not even worry about telling him about it-- end it and concentrate on moving forward with your marriage. if you plan on ending your marriage-- honestly, he is going to find out about the kids sooner or later...better sooner.

Sometimes you can be so unhappy with your life and want to run from everything when you meet someone you love or think you love or whatever...its not being selfish its human be honest life is too short give a chance and if it works out then great if not you move on cause as someone once said and i cant remember who, life is about loving not just the same person but over and over again..

What should you do? How about the right thing...for his sake, your children's sake, and even your sake.

That may sound harsh, but living a lie, especially for your own gain, will only bring you continuing pain. Unhealthy and unfair. Besides, if you can't be honest with him, you don't have much to hold on to anyway.

Sorry, but it's time to step up...or step off.

in my opinion you need to be honest with all parties involved including your husband. sometimes being honest doesnt give us what we want at that very moment, but it can not be avoided. in the end everyone will end up hurt.

You are who you are...

You are defined by the choices you make....

Money makes you more of who you already are...

What we have done can not be changed in the present or the future...

Decide what is most important to you in life:

is it your kids, your marriage to your husband or your fling?

As Shakespeare said, "what a tangle web we weave...."

Time to fess up. He probably suspects something. The best sex is meaningless without honesty. JMO

its really not about sex. and yes I know honesty is the best policy, But do i just let it go to keep from hurting him. I'm mot ready to leave my family now.I have too much invested, and he lives quite far. I am so emotionally detached from my husband, have been hurt too many times and my feelings for this guy has kinda liberated me from being so emotionally dependent on my husband.. He hasn't been a good husband.

......I can't stand LIARS, CHEATS, DECEIVERS, BLAMERS, or THOSE WHO MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEIR ACTIONS!!! You seem like a person who has lied before. You reap what you sow. I've dated liars before and once the truth was revealed I hated them- not dated them.

u are wrong. I have never been in a relationship outside of my marriage before, no need to lie before... Have been a good wife and mother. This is the first time i have messed around.... I really don't want him to see me like that.. I know I created this mess and deserve him labeling me as such if he does... I am truly sorry for lying and have learned a serious lesson from this..... I didn't intend to see him again and yes I was drinking and having a good time, my husband didn't want to go with me on this trip, never wants to do much with the family, but yet is very jealous.... because of ur response im leaning towards letting it go..I wouldn't say i was being selfish i made a mistake. That would never happen again.

You say you have to much invested in your family and marriage but you seem to have missed the most crucial part of the equation. YOU....are not personally invested in your marriage. How can you expect to make it last if you are absent.
Thats like saying I am invested in my business but i never show up to see whats going on or open the doors for my customers. Or Im invested in XYZ stock but I did not put any money in it.
what you are saying is a contradiction in itself.

sounds like excuses and justification
you are responsible for your own actions
go from there

Dont blame him for the choices you made

No, I'm saying that when I was invested and faithfully, I was constantly being hurt. How can u be invested in something or someone that is constantly letting u down? I don't ever wanna be in that "place" again!!

children are in a great school. he is very much involved with them. They love there father. We have a lovely home.I prayed and have hoped and have labored over making this marriage work. I think my heart was growing tired and vulnerable when i met this gentleman.

which is more important?
what kind of relationship are you teaching your children to have?
do you not think they are not smart enough to know or feel what is going on?

Two wrongs don't make a right. Is the "place" you are in now really that much better?

You asked what we thought you should do, not to help you justify. In the end, only you can decide.

i know all of that... just was able to realize all this recently... sometimes when we are caught up in working , living raising the kids we don't stop to really see whats going on... It's always easier to say when u r not so emotionally caught up in it...

you have choices.....feel sorry for yourself and continue as is or do something about it

I think in all of this I have realized how unhappy i am in my marriage.... the issue here is, what do I do with this guy I have lied to.... Contrary to what someone accused me of being, i am not a lier. I am not blaming my actions on anyone. just wanna do the right thing and am more confused now than before. I just don't wanna hurt this guy... and maybe if i just let it go i can spare him.