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Topic: I am at a loss... need advice.
GizDrak's photo
Fri 08/15/08 07:39 PM
I am at a loss in my life right now.. I want to find someone special to be with but it seems like, no one wants me or even wants to chat with me it is weird.. I do not think I am a bad looking guy is it my looks that are stopping women from even taking me up on my offer for a date? or just chatting?

Is it because I am totally honest all the time. Are women scared of honest guys? I guess I could be to nice I try to hard to be nice sometimes.... I will get doors for people I will thank everyone if they do something for me or others. But I can not seem to attract a women....

I guess I am not the most active of people but I enjoy my life for the most part I just wish I had someone to share it with.

I have gone up and asked women out and half the time they laugh at me.. like I am some fool or something.... I do not mind being turned down but why do they laugh at me.... I do not use bad pick up lines or anything I normally just walk up and introduce myself.

I just do not know what I am doing wrong... Is it wrong to be myself... maybe I should change somehow I just do not know....

I love being in relationships I am not a huge fan of dating but when I can not even get a date it gets some what depressing.

I work hard and have money... I take care of myself I am in good health.. good car... clean cut most of the time.. maybe it is the way I dress I should buy new cloths maybe?

I just do not know what to do... so I ask for some advice here what should I do?

ljcc1964's photo
Fri 08/15/08 07:41 PM
Not enough information to answer the question.

merlin2525's photo
Fri 08/15/08 07:42 PM
The next time you go up to a woman and ask her out.
Make sure she sees the twenty in your hand.

ledi180's photo
Fri 08/15/08 07:42 PM
Don't change who you are - you've got to stay true to yourself.

Not sure why the women are laughing, that's so not nice.

Just keep being you - keep taking chances. If you simply give up it's not likely you'll find happiness that way.

flowerforyou

no photo
Fri 08/15/08 07:42 PM
quit bein a "nice guy"................

rodfcutler's photo
Fri 08/15/08 07:43 PM
give yourself time,and patience.God knows thats what I have been doing for al my life,and am not through yet!!
If I can do it(somehow),so can you my friend!




FIGHT HARD!


:wink:

adoubleby's photo
Fri 08/15/08 07:43 PM
just be yourself...the right one is out there! flowerforyou

:heart:

lionsbrew's photo
Fri 08/15/08 07:45 PM
id say stop asking so many questions and show some confidence alot of women find confidence sexy,youve already got alot going for you dont be afraid to flaunt it.

GizDrak's photo
Fri 08/15/08 07:48 PM

id say stop asking so many questions and show some confidence alot of women find confidence sexy,youve already got alot going for you dont be afraid to flaunt it.


I used to not be very confident but I have tired hard over the last year to be more confident and I am now but it just does not seem to be enough.

Ruth34611's photo
Fri 08/15/08 07:50 PM
Nice guys always finish last. Quit opening doors for people and get a t-shirt like this one:

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/156537

I'm just kidding. dating sucks. Hang in there. We are all in the same boat. flowerforyou

Chazster's photo
Fri 08/15/08 08:08 PM
You seem like a decent guy, I dont know what the problem is, but again I am not seeing the situation first hand. Don't be too nice, at least not at the beginning. Women may take it as you are desperate for them to like you. You need to give the impression that you might like them, but wouldnt mind not having them. If they turn act like its no big deal. If they laugh turn it on them. You could say something like "I thought you could have used a little company, guess I was wrong, o well my time is best spent else where anyway." If they are really mean about it then find something they might be insecure about and bust their balls over it. Ex, say they laugh and are mean about it "Yea your right, it is pretty funny, I mean I never ask out girls with thunder thighs, man what was I thinking" Either way, you come off like you don't care, you save face, you get the last laugh, and your seeming confidence may impress a friend she is with.

Just some food for thought.

GizDrak's photo
Fri 08/15/08 08:16 PM

You seem like a decent guy, I dont know what the problem is, but again I am not seeing the situation first hand. Don't be too nice, at least not at the beginning. Women may take it as you are desperate for them to like you. You need to give the impression that you might like them, but wouldnt mind not having them. If they turn act like its no big deal. If they laugh turn it on them. You could say something like "I thought you could have used a little company, guess I was wrong, o well my time is best spent else where anyway." If they are really mean about it then find something they might be insecure about and bust their balls over it. Ex, say they laugh and are mean about it "Yea your right, it is pretty funny, I mean I never ask out girls with thunder thighs, man what was I thinking" Either way, you come off like you don't care, you save face, you get the last laugh, and your seeming confidence may impress a friend she is with.

Just some food for thought.



I never really tired that before. I always believed in being honest. but I see what your saying maybe I will try it what can it hurt I am not getting anywhere with what I am doing now?

Chazster's photo
Fri 08/15/08 08:26 PM
Again, you don't want to change who you are, just how you come off. Just do nice thing enough so they can appreciate it, but not expect it all of the time. Know how to balance being close and giving them space. This is all after the fact though.

Right now you just want to give the impression of a confident guy that wants to mingle.

GizDrak's photo
Fri 08/15/08 08:30 PM

Again, you don't want to change who you are, just how you come off. Just do nice thing enough so they can appreciate it, but not expect it all of the time. Know how to balance being close and giving them space. This is all after the fact though.

Right now you just want to give the impression of a confident guy that wants to mingle.


I get what your saying. and will give it a shot thanks for the advice.

Socratease's photo
Fri 08/15/08 09:05 PM
Be a man with answers to a womans mind instead of questioning yourself,you could call it confidence or whatever..some respond to a guy who knows exactly what he wants, and how he feels about certain things with conviction.It could be a comfort to any sort of relationship if u know the other is set straight in there likes and dislikes of others instead of them questioning themselves.You know who u are,what u like,dislike etc..just be yourself and be patient,and dont be afraid to email someone more than once.You have nothing to lose in trying,but have everything to lose by sitting and letting a certain someone pass u by because you didnt try...

KoolAidWoman's photo
Fri 08/15/08 10:44 PM
Post in diffrent places,,,Your welcome.at the.
Fifties place,Im a dee-J there,I asked questions.
You can chat with good people there all so darn.
Down to earth Women,Women,Women Elvis Loves us.
Over there tell them Koolaid sent you Koolaid-,

kayak69's photo
Fri 08/15/08 10:52 PM
Walk up to a woman, lick your eyebrows, then ask her out.laugh :tongue: :tongue: happy

galendgirl's photo
Fri 08/15/08 11:07 PM
Quit trying completely and be completely at peace with single-hood...that's exactly when you'll meet someone! Murphy's Law always rules :)

FearandLoathing's photo
Fri 08/15/08 11:25 PM
Be you.

Dragoness's photo
Fri 08/15/08 11:31 PM
Quit trying so hard. Try to be happy and content with yourself and this will come across as confidence and you will get more response.

I have been told that we ladies send out signals to guys we are attracted to, so look for those first before diving in head first.

Why the ladies are laughing at you, I don't know, but people can be cruel sometimes. That is why looking for the signals of interest might help.

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