If relationships are on a number scale wherein relationship is ten and
just getting started is one, normally, I make it to about two however,
am then dropped (sorry, I can't think of a more articulate way to put
it) with a phrase something along the lines of 'you're just too much'
more often than I thought possible. So, I was just wondering if someone
could define 'too much' in the scope of personality and when someone
fits that description. As far as I know - i.e. no one has ever
mentioned that I should seek therapy - I am of excellent mental shape.

Maybe you could shed light on this?
thanks in advance,
x,
jess

i think that would be different depending on what the other person was
looking for.
like if you are throwing yourself into the relationship but the other
person was not looking for a commitment so fast or at all.

If you are a heavily codependent personality you probably are scaring
them off.

i think that there is no such thing as to much.. there is always someone
out there that feels the same way to.. good luck.. intelligent people
relate diffrently with others than their own intellegence.. unfortantly
I am not...lol

Maybe your scrapping to low. What I mean is, maybe these guys are
beneath you in brains and whit. Or they are not as out going as you
are.

Now to switch this around. Are you stalking the guys? calling them 20
times a day? Dropping in without notice ALL the time? Planning
EVERYTHING without consulting them? (my son-in-law said those are to
much to handle)

T

From reading your profile and post you seem intellegent: Which I hate to
say could be a draw back to the guys you're seeing!

Guys your age up to a certain age generally look to get laid and the
harder you try to look them down the faster they try to run.
Additionally a lot of guys have issues with intellegent girls. I think
if you put those together they sorta work against you (considering a
small percentage of men are ok with relationships added to that only a
certain percentage of guys are bright enough to handle you)...

Does that sound like it might fit?

too much?..hmmmm...that would mean your just one helluba
woman!!!!! BUT if your getting serious too soon your scaring em
away...(unless he's like a total wacko wanting marriage on the second
date..)
You are so young! Enjoy some of your years before settling down and
having a boatload of wee ones. Staying in college is excellent and i
stand and APPLAUD YOU!! you go lilone!!!

Getting a really good education is crucial for any woman in my eyes in
the event after she marries and starts that family her SO/HUBBY passes
away, divorce....homicide....JUST KIDDING!!!
I have always believed in this saying..
"to thyne own self be true". Get out there and break some hearts
babygirl!! your a very beautiful woman!

You will NEED to DEFINE BETTER,,,,,
"YOUR JUST TO MUCH"?????????

THAT could have alot of veribles????

I would ONLY ever say that in a tid-bit way!!

Like, Kind way,,,,,,cool way,,,,,in a liking way...

I can't see that phrase, being used in a DIS-LIKING WAY????

Anything to go with THAT????

Hi, Maybe if you could explain what happens between 1 and 2 - you might
be able to get a better answer. Meaning what do you discuss typically,
do you call him and how often if you do, how many dates are usually
between 1 and 2, and other basic stuff that happens between when you
meet them and when they say your too much.

iam raises a good point: What exactly is meant by "too much"? Too much
what, too much how?

Without knowing much of anything about your situation, I'm guessing that
maybe there's some aspect of your persoanlity that these people are
finding difficult to deal with, perhaps intimidating? For instance,
there are guys who feel uncomfortable around a woman who is intelligent,
articulate, and communicative. Most of the guys I play hockey with are
like that, so I'm familiar with the type!

I would ask this question: Do you have a firm, established idea of what
kind of relationship it is that you want? What kind of person you want?
Because it sounds to me like you're getting involved (at least on a
basic, superficial initial level) with people who are not well-matched
to you.

I don't see anything that would suggest to me that you need therapy,
just maybe a better screening process as to who you get involved with.

i am not that good on relationship advice, but i know what you mean, i
probably make it to a 3 or maybe 4, the last one told me i was hot, and
awesome and than ended it by saying he didn't want to hurt me. explain
that. i still don't understand that one. i guess you have to just try
and someday we will all get to a 10!!!

Well Miss BROWN,, THAT ONE I can answer,,,
HE, did not LOVE YOU!!,,,or FEEL,, LOVE WITH YOU!!!!

So HE then used ya a little bit and didn't feel any MAGIC,,and wanted to
move on,,,

BUT, HE COULD "NEVER" "REALLY", BE LOOKING FOR "LOVE",,

JUST A BED PARTNER????? So, if THAT was the case,,,YOU ARE BETTER
OFF!!!

Thanks guys.

No, to all those that thought so, I don't have the time to be obsessive
or stalkeresque it just isn't my personality. I'm driven and goal
oriented with enough on my mind that half the time I don't remember that
I've called someone.

To those that wanted to know what I meant by too much - if I knew I
probably wouldn't have to have asked the question.

Sorry, that question is just too much.

Just kidding. Too much would seem pretty strange to say to a woman.
You're a college student, pretty, well spoken. You said in your profile
that you'd rather dance all night than stay in. Looks to me like you are
an energetic sort. If you're nice to go with that, then I'd say whoever
says you are too much is probably just too little. Basically,
interesting women are a challenge, some men are not up to the challenge
and would prefer someone a little easier. I'm speaking of mentally, not
sexually here. It may well be the old Type A, Type B, Type C personality
clash. As far as I'm concerned you're going to do just fine. Throw back
the small fish and hold out for the big ones. Speaking of fish, perhaps
you are swimming in too small of a pond. big fish there may be small
ones later in your life. Consider participating in some groups that have
people who excel in some area of interest to you.

therapy never hurts anyone in good mental shape. it can let you know
your options.

if your to much ill take you, i think your beautiful, an bet you wouldnt
b to much 4 me

Well do you think that you might of been rushing things in your past
relationships becuase when you rush things in any relationship you tend
to have high expectations for that person and 9 out of 10 times you
partner will notice this and when that happens the tend to feel
uncomfortable with the relationship and thats when they bail. My advice
to you would be that when you think you might have a connection with
some one to really pay attention to that person and to see if you and
him are on the same page and that you both want to achieve the same
goals in life and when your goals are the same there's compatibilatiy
and when you have that you can move foward with your partner instead of
them holding you back or vice-versa.

thanks philo. for adding some humor to the whole thing and for the
indepth analysis.

thanks everyone else as well.