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Topic: What is your definition of
no photo
Fri 08/29/08 07:37 PM
forgiveness?


"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
Mahatma Gandhi


How far will you go to forgive someone for doing something offensive or bad?

Do you have a limit to forgiveness? If so explain why.


crazy_lover's photo
Fri 08/29/08 07:39 PM
forgive once
forgive twice
shame on the next timeflowerforyou

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Fri 08/29/08 07:40 PM
limit ?

yes,

at a certain point there is a general discharge of my sympathetic nervous system, priming me for fighting or fleeing.

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Fri 08/29/08 07:41 PM
To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. - Robert Muller

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Fri 08/29/08 07:43 PM
"When you forgive, you essentially undo the ability to blame." When you stop blaming yourself, you start to like yourself and you're much more fun to be around. You get your power back over your life. That is the power of forgiveness. - Eldon Taylor

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Fri 08/29/08 07:43 PM
Forgive and let it be gone...makes more room for love and joy in your heartbigsmile flowerforyou I like your questions my friendbigsmile

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Fri 08/29/08 07:52 PM
I think forgiveness is essential to a positive life force as when one cannot and will not forgive, it is not the aggressor who suffers, but the "victim". It only eats us alive if we don't let go.
That by no means should imply one should ever tolerate a repeat offense from the same adult person if it is truly egregious.

Abracadabra's photo
Fri 08/29/08 07:55 PM

What is your definition of forgiveness?


That's an interesting question. For me I think to forgive someone simply means not to hold bitterness against them. By that definition I pretty much forgive everyone because I almost never hold a grudge.

However, having said that there are certain people I'd rather not be around. They are no welcome at my place. And by that I simply mean they are no invited to be here. It has nothing to do with holding a grudge against them or anything like that. I simply don't enjoy their company so I make every reasonable effort to avoid them. I don't run from them when I see them, but I don't encourage interaction either.

I don't feel that it's necessary to embrace everyone. Some people are just plain obnxious and I'd rather not be around them. I wish them no harm. On the contrary I sincerely hope they have the best life possible. Just do it away from me is all I ask. laugh

If they truly care about me they'll leave me alone. I'm willing to leave them alone. :wink:


Do you have a limit to forgiveness? If so explain why.


Absolultely. If someone purposefully and knowing does harm to me or my loved ones I will never forgive them. Period.

But again, I don't need to wish harm upon them. I just have no interest in them being in my life.

Listen to Jesus Christ. He was the greatest hypocrite who ever lived if you can trust the Bible to speak his words.

He preached forgiveness, yet he also said that there will be those who will claim to know them and he will not acknowledge them. He will not forgive them.

In fact, according to the Bible the biblical God forgive very few. The vast majority of souls will be lost, only few will find their way into God's heaven.

Clearly the Biblical God is a lot like me. laugh

He's basically saying, "Fine. I forgive you. Now just go to hell because you aren't welcome at my place."

The only difference being that God supposedly has the only nice place worth living.

When I tell people they aren't welcome at my place, at least in theory they can find better places to live out their lives.

So my rejection of people is not the same as telling them to go to hell. bigsmile

Abracadabra's photo
Fri 08/29/08 07:57 PM

I think forgiveness is essential to a positive life force as when one cannot and will not forgive, it is not the aggressor who suffers, but the "victim". It only eats us alive if we don't let go.
That by no means should imply one should ever tolerate a repeat offense from the same adult person if it is truly egregious.


Exactly.

If to not forgive means to hold a grudge then I have never not forgiven anyone because I don't hold grudges. flowerforyou

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Fri 08/29/08 07:58 PM
Edited by ddn122 on Fri 08/29/08 08:24 PM
ahhhh but can you forgive "in the moment" like Kwai Chang Caine

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Fri 08/29/08 08:03 PM
Forgive & than forget!!!!There is so much time & energy wasted on unforgiving.But there are limits.Top two of mine are,Rape & child molesting!!!Oh,And beating on your partner!!!sad sad :angry: grumble grumble

tribo's photo
Fri 08/29/08 08:13 PM
QUOTE:

What is your definition of forgiveness?



That's an interesting question. For me I think to forgive someone simply means not to hold bitterness against them. By that definition I pretty much forgive everyone because I almost never hold a grudge.

However, having said that there are certain people I'd rather not be around. They are no welcome at my place. And by that I simply mean they are no invited to be here. It has nothing to do with holding a grudge against them or anything like that. I simply don't enjoy their company so I make every reasonable effort to avoid them. I don't run from them when I see them, but I don't encourage interaction either.

I don't feel that it's necessary to embrace everyone. Some people are just plain obnxious and I'd rather not be around them. I wish them no harm. On the contrary I sincerely hope they have the best life possible. Just do it away from me is all I ask.

If they truly care about me they'll leave me alone. I'm willing to leave them alone.


TRIBO:

ok i get it you don't have to go on and on about it - i can take a hint majik man - point taken - gotcha - all righty then - bigsmile

note to self: stay - away - from - abra - check!!

no photo
Fri 08/29/08 08:14 PM
Edited by smiless on Fri 08/29/08 08:18 PM

Forgive & than forget!!!!There is so much time & energy wasted on unforgiving.But there are limits.Top two of mine are,Rape & child molesting!!!Oh,And beating on your partner!!!sad sad :angry: grumble grumble



Which leads me to a story I read about Ghandi.

As you know India was splitting into two countries against Ghandis wishes. The reason they were splitting is because of religion.

Violence occured between the people as a Muslim man killed a Hindu and the Hindu's family was upset and killed everyone in the Muslims family except for the child. The muslim child was left alone with no one to care for him.

The Muslim child came to Ghandi and told him the story.

The Hindu family came to Ghandi and told him the story.

Ghandi was on strike at the time as he refused to eat until everyone would stop fighting.

The hindu man said eat this bread please.

Ghandi said I will eat a piece of that bread if you can forgive what the muslim's boys family did to your family and take care of him as your own.

The hindu man hesitated and said I cannot, it is too difficult.

Ghandi said the boy needs a home, you must take care of him now and learn to forgive and I will eat the bread.

The hindu man took the boy as his own and forgived what the boys family did to his family.

Could you forgive in this manner if it happened to you?

tribo's photo
Fri 08/29/08 08:14 PM
Edited by tribo on Fri 08/29/08 08:14 PM

Forgive & than forget!!!!There is so much time & energy wasted on unforgiving.But there are limits.Top two of mine are,Rape & child molesting!!!Oh,And beating on your partner!!!sad sad :angry: grumble grumble


now we'd get along on those issues just fine - flowerforyou

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Fri 08/29/08 08:17 PM


Forgive & than forget!!!!There is so much time & energy wasted on unforgiving.But there are limits.Top two of mine are,Rape & child molesting!!!Oh,And beating on your partner!!!sad sad :angry: grumble grumble


now we'd get along on those issues just fine - flowerforyou


Since you are 1/4 Cherokee, can you forgive what the settlers did to this country and the native americans?

SkyHook5652's photo
Fri 08/29/08 08:17 PM
"Ceasing to blame" works pretty well for me as a definition.

stardust50's photo
Fri 08/29/08 08:24 PM
Forgiving I am trying to learn to do but the beatings I took well I would like to believe it made me a stronger women........but then again I could be wrong I still have my moments when the night comes and I close my eyes and feel every hit, every unkind word then I look deep inside and the the forgiving well it is just not there. I have forgiven many times in my life and I am sure that I will have many more times that I will forgive I just wish I could forget then maybe it would be easier.

Abracadabra's photo
Fri 08/29/08 08:28 PM

TRIBO:

ok i get it you don't have to go on and on about it - i can take a hint majik man - point taken - gotcha - all righty then - bigsmile

note to self: stay - away - from - abra - check!!


You're finally wising up Sam. bigsmile flowerforyou

tribo's photo
Fri 08/29/08 09:42 PM
Edited by tribo on Fri 08/29/08 09:47 PM



Forgive & than forget!!!!There is so much time & energy wasted on unforgiving.But there are limits.Top two of mine are,Rape & child molesting!!!Oh,And beating on your partner!!!sad sad :angry: grumble grumble


now we'd get along on those issues just fine - flowerforyou


Since you are 1/4 Cherokee, can you forgive what the settlers did to this country and the native americans?


3/4 of me can bigsmile

in all honesty john, it saddens me deeply that christian people came to this country and not only stole it from the indians by violence but commited acts that anywhere else would not have been accepted at the time - who are the savages?

as to forgiving something i personally was not involved in? their is nothing to forgive, it was not personally done against me. the problem is did it teach americans anything??? i think not. morally people are no better today than at that time or any other time.

Belushi's photo
Fri 08/29/08 09:46 PM




Forgive & than forget!!!!There is so much time & energy wasted on unforgiving.But there are limits.Top two of mine are,Rape & child molesting!!!Oh,And beating on your partner!!!sad sad :angry: grumble grumble


now we'd get along on those issues just fine - flowerforyou


Since you are 1/4 Cherokee, can you forgive what the settlers did to this country and the native americans?


3/4 of me can bigsmile


What about the other half? laugh

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