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| Topic: Communication...or lack thereof... | |
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Edited by
FearandLoathing
on
Thu 09/25/08 10:07 PM
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Relationships depend on communication, this is a solid fact. They also depend on a certain level of trust and honesty. Why is it that some of these things fail? Moreso why do they fail in people that have a stance on being bluntly honest and very good in communication? This is why I am losing more faith in humanity, when one person cannot even commit the least amount of honest or commits enough for it to be passed as honesty for the time being. If you don't want to talk to someone, tell them so...really is p*** poor in all honesty. Definatly do not claim to be bluntly honest when you are not in fact bluntly honest, moreso do not claim to be good with communication when in fact you lack on the better parts of it.
Just be bloody honest people, we only live once...and that in itself can be shorter then we realize. |
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Ok...?
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 honesty and openness, the vital foundation for a successful relationship.
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Ok...? Sorry, are you confused? Something you don't agree with? Or just poking about? |
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Well, it's like: YOU DO THIS NOW!!
There's nothing really to discuss in it; I read it twice and didn't see a question to answer or topic to discuss. So I just said "ok". I sort of wondered if it was directed toward a particular person, but since I am new here, I would have no way of knowing. It's always interesting to sniff around discussion forums and try to figure out who's messing with whom. If someone says in an irritated way: "You say you're honest but you're not!" then it's sometimes amusing to try to guess who it's directed toward. I neither agree nor disagree with your statements, though they seem logically sound enough and are well presented. You misspelled "definitely", but not a big deal. xoxoxo |
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Would the word "bluntly" have anything to do with it? Blunt honesty like a blunt knife only crushes as it cuts through to the truth.
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Stop picking on me!!
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Would the word "bluntly" have anything to do with it? Blunt honesty like a blunt knife only crushes as it cuts through to the truth. Bluntly was an example, if you say you are but are not...don't say you are, the same goes for honesty...don't say you are if you're not. Honesty is key in a relationship, that I typed I did not type blunt honesty. |
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Edited by
wildflower27203
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Thu 09/25/08 10:33 PM
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hmm....I am a blunt person....and that is probably why I've been passed over for a promotion about five times in a year and a half. I've always liked the policy "If you don't want to hear the answer then don't ask the question"
and then there are the times that I didn't wait for the question and just said how it was..... 
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Ok. It was me. I farted. But I was at least honest about it. And I admitted it.
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Why does it fail?
Because somebody's Needs are fulfilled and/or somebody is trying to get away with something and keeping secrets. |
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Why does it fail? Because somebody's Needs are fulfilled and/or somebody is trying to get away with something and keeping secrets. I don't buy that, honesty is honesty and it should not fail. Therefore if it failed that means honesty wasn't really present. |
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I've been told since childhood that my bluntness is quite unattractive. I used to care, but I don't anymore. Now it's just another weapon in my arsenal, right?
My observation has been that people are most likely to claim that they are being "completely honest" when they are lying or covering something up. For example, a coworker will snicker at me as I walk by--in his view, he's being "honest" by pretending that there's something funny about my appearance. (This is an example from the past; I work at home now and have done so for quite a long time.) But in fact he's being manipulative and prevaricating; it's a device to get my attention and make me feel insecure and ill at ease around him, so that he can feel as though he has the upper hand. If a supervisor takes him to task for his behavior, he will claim in a blustering tone that he's "just being honest" because supposedly he really does think there's something funny about the way I look, and he deserves the opportunity to air his opinion, since it is after all an "honest" one. (Meanwhile he doesn't look twice at the morbidly obese lady who has a bizarre hairstyle, smacks her lips loudly when she eats, and wears ultra-tight clothing in garish colors.) People will often hide behind this pose of "honesty" when in fact they are reacting to their own securities--which they are extremely reluctant even to admit to, much less deal with. Anything that excites those insecurities will ultimately provoke an attack; again, under the guise of bluntness. On the site "book of matches", from which I was recently banned, there was a little movement in the part of various individuals that went on for quite some time and took many different forms to deliver the message to me that I am ugly, stupid, and that no one likes me. "I'm just being honest," is of course the motto of any such campaign. Who can argue with honesty, right? Meanwhile, it was my candor and bluntness that earned me the designation of being irretrievably unattractive, dumb, and unloveable. To make a big deal about honesty is in my opinion to make oneself seem dishonest to any intelligent person within hearing. (Especially on the internet.) |
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I've been told since childhood that my bluntness is quite unattractive. I used to care, but I don't anymore. Now it's just another weapon in my arsenal, right? My observation has been that people are most likely to claim that they are being "completely honest" when they are lying or covering something up. For example, a coworker will snicker at me as I walk by--in his view, he's being "honest" by pretending that there's something funny about my appearance. (This is an example from the past; I work at home now and have done so for quite a long time.) But in fact he's being manipulative and prevaricating; it's a device to get my attention and make me feel insecure and ill at ease around him, so that he can feel as though he has the upper hand. If a supervisor takes him to task for his behavior, he will claim in a blustering tone that he's "just being honest" because supposedly he really does think there's something funny about the way I look, and he deserves the opportunity to air his opinion, since it is after all an "honest" one. (Meanwhile he doesn't look twice at the morbidly obese lady who has a bizarre hairstyle, smacks her lips loudly when she eats, and wears ultra-tight clothing in garish colors.) People will often hide behind this pose of "honesty" when in fact they are reacting to their own securities--which they are extremely reluctant even to admit to, much less deal with. Anything that excites those insecurities will ultimately provoke an attack; again, under the guise of bluntness. On the site "book of matches", from which I was recently banned, there was a little movement in the part of various individuals that went on for quite some time and took many different forms to deliver the message to me that I am ugly, stupid, and that no one likes me. "I'm just being honest," is of course the motto of any such campaign. Who can argue with honesty, right? Meanwhile, it was my candor and bluntness that earned me the designation of being irretrievably unattractive, dumb, and unloveable. To make a big deal about honesty is in my opinion to make oneself seem dishonest to any intelligent person within hearing. (Especially on the internet.) Marry me. 
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I've been told since childhood that my bluntness is quite unattractive. I used to care, but I don't anymore. Now it's just another weapon in my arsenal, right? My observation has been that people are most likely to claim that they are being "completely honest" when they are lying or covering something up. For example, a coworker will snicker at me as I walk by--in his view, he's being "honest" by pretending that there's something funny about my appearance. (This is an example from the past; I work at home now and have done so for quite a long time.) But in fact he's being manipulative and prevaricating; it's a device to get my attention and make me feel insecure and ill at ease around him, so that he can feel as though he has the upper hand. If a supervisor takes him to task for his behavior, he will claim in a blustering tone that he's "just being honest" because supposedly he really does think there's something funny about the way I look, and he deserves the opportunity to air his opinion, since it is after all an "honest" one. (Meanwhile he doesn't look twice at the morbidly obese lady who has a bizarre hairstyle, smacks her lips loudly when she eats, and wears ultra-tight clothing in garish colors.) People will often hide behind this pose of "honesty" when in fact they are reacting to their own securities--which they are extremely reluctant even to admit to, much less deal with. Anything that excites those insecurities will ultimately provoke an attack; again, under the guise of bluntness. On the site "book of matches", from which I was recently banned, there was a little movement in the part of various individuals that went on for quite some time and took many different forms to deliver the message to me that I am ugly, stupid, and that no one likes me. "I'm just being honest," is of course the motto of any such campaign. Who can argue with honesty, right? Meanwhile, it was my candor and bluntness that earned me the designation of being irretrievably unattractive, dumb, and unloveable. To make a big deal about honesty is in my opinion to make oneself seem dishonest to any intelligent person within hearing. (Especially on the internet.) Good explanation, and true on some points. What is wrong with making a big deal about something you want in a partner? It is no different in real life, if I search for someone I want someone who is honest...so am I just to shut my mouth and hope people can read minds? The same goes for a dating site, we put down what we are looking for and when that gets trampled on we vent about it (what I've done here). So to say that making a thread about honesty in some way insinuates you being dishonest is a crock. Although I do respect your honesty I wish to debate on some points of it. |
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Why does it fail? Because somebody's Needs are fulfilled and/or somebody is trying to get away with something and keeping secrets. I don't buy that, honesty is honesty and it should not fail. Therefore if it failed that means honesty wasn't really present. Obliviously, you have an answer. So, what do you think it is? I think it is very basic. Man is sin-natured. He/She want something or Need Something. The Need is not met. After time, the body weakens, they go look for the need elsewhere. Sometimes the Need is communicated.. but it is unheard or spoken without urgency. The Feminine will communicated all the time. The Masculine resolves and tries to end communication. Too many msg and mix msg. The Need is a mystery because it is very hard to identify. There are not just one need, but many. Ever hear a Feminine say, "I hate you and I never want to see you again." It doesn't mean that. Feminine still loves the masculine. But the Masculine cannot understand the message. Even two gay guys have miscommunication. In order for sexual interaction, somebody has to be masculine and the other feminine. If you are in a relationship with direct quick and simple communication (both in the masculine)... than it is going to lack the sexual intensity of a relationship. The key is for you to be in touch with your feminine and understand why she is saying what she is saying. Some of the stuff is to TEST your resolve as being a Man and staying on track with your goals. These are the things feminine would say to drive you crazy, if you don't understand the hidden msg. So, there... it is not possible to have clear concise direct communication with a feminine on the subject of relationship and life. |
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My observation has been that people are most likely to claim that they are being "completely honest" when they are lying or covering something up. I find it to be true with the word "christian". It is like a prerequisite for "Trust me, don't check the facts.. Trust me as if I am Jesus telling you this." |
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Why does it fail? Because somebody's Needs are fulfilled and/or somebody is trying to get away with something and keeping secrets. I don't buy that, honesty is honesty and it should not fail. Therefore if it failed that means honesty wasn't really present. Obliviously, you have an answer. So, what do you think it is? I think it is very basic. Man is sin-natured. He/She want something or Need Something. The Need is not met. After time, the body weakens, they go look for the need elsewhere. Sometimes the Need is communicated.. but it is unheard or spoken without urgency. The Feminine will communicated all the time. The Masculine resolves and tries to end communication. Too many msg and mix msg. The Need is a mystery because it is very hard to identify. There are not just one need, but many. Ever hear a Feminine say, "I hate you and I never want to see you again." It doesn't mean that. Feminine still loves the masculine. But the Masculine cannot understand the message. Even two gay guys have miscommunication. In order for sexual interaction, somebody has to be masculine and the other feminine. If you are in a relationship with direct quick and simple communication (both in the masculine)... than it is going to lack the sexual intensity of a relationship. The key is for you to be in touch with your feminine and understand why she is saying what she is saying. Some of the stuff is to TEST your resolve as being a Man and staying on track with your goals. These are the things feminine would say to drive you crazy, if you don't understand the hidden msg. So, there... it is not possible to have clear concise direct communication with a feminine on the subject of relationship and life. I'm on about no communication, absolutely none...nothing said. No hidden message for me to understand if there is no message in the first place. The point I was making was that it should be communicated, even if by text or e-mail...when something fails one party should not be left in the dark with absolutely nothing to go on when the other claims this pedestool of communication and honesty. If you say you are honest, be honest...say you communicate well, do so. Not a difficult concept to hold to your own words I don't think. |
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Good explanation, and true on some points. What is wrong with making a big deal about something you want in a partner? It is no different in real life, if I search for someone I want someone who is honest...so am I just to shut my mouth and hope people can read minds? The same goes for a dating site, we put down what we are looking for and when that gets trampled on we vent about it (what I've done here). So to say that making a thread about honesty in some way insinuates you being dishonest is a crock. Although I do respect your honesty I wish to debate on some points of it. It is about how you leave the other person feeling afterward. BY focusing on yourself being Honest... It is a selfish act... it is being reflective off yourself. You should focus on others. This has its limits too. So a middle ground balance would be at your own discretion. |
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Good explanation, and true on some points. What is wrong with making a big deal about something you want in a partner? It is no different in real life, if I search for someone I want someone who is honest...so am I just to shut my mouth and hope people can read minds? The same goes for a dating site, we put down what we are looking for and when that gets trampled on we vent about it (what I've done here). So to say that making a thread about honesty in some way insinuates you being dishonest is a crock. Although I do respect your honesty I wish to debate on some points of it. It is about how you leave the other person feeling afterward. BY focusing on yourself being Honest... It is a selfish act... it is being reflective off yourself. You should focus on others. This has its limits too. So a middle ground balance would be at your own discretion. I'm going to hold on to this thought, I like the way you conveyed that in your words...so I will ponder this more, taking into account the things said here. Suppose this is one of those things that may never be figured out...but worth a shot. |
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