Good luck! I truly hope this turns out better than the last few!



(....but then, it would almost have to....!!)

But I have never seen you as being "bitter" at all -- you can be humorously jaded/cynical, but there's always a smile behind it....

Being geographically isolated and in a small sector of society I am limited to comparative communication....

This forum is a space where every now and again I can connect and communicate on a similar level..

Dating site? For the first six months I was the only aussie... so no definitely NOT to hope to date...

Bitter with baggage?

Nah.........That ole 'Man's Search For Meaning ' thing is about it..

...read everyone's thoughtful comments...the only thing i can add is that if the person is successful offline in making a connection, then that person will most likely be successful online in making a connection...visa versa...and also, i agree with a gentleman's comment in regards to this site just being another avenue in making the connection..

Roco

I think people resort to these sites for many reasons. They are to shy to talk in public, they do not have the time to go out, or maybe like myself, there computer is there comfort zone. This is where they feel comfortable. I am a lot more open on here then I ever could be talk to new people in the real world.

I do not think age has a whole lot to do with online dating. For some maybe. Maybe they are tired of the bar scene, tired of trying in the open world.

But hey for what it is worth, this is just an opinion by me.

I can't speak for others but I use the site for several reasons.

Some of it is to motivate me. One is to practice my typing and writing in general. Defintely improved my word per minute which is always and advantage. I actually think it improves my spelling too. I don't know about organizing but possibly. I don't think it has done much to inprove my computer skills; pretty simple program.

My Mingle time is a reward for getting things done.

Occasionally and excuse to ignore someone annoying.

Not bad way to get me to set down, feet up, and rest which is mandatory for health reasons. Sometimes you actually help me get back to sleep because I use a laptop in the lazy boy.

Great stress reliever. LOL all you have to do is listen a little and you are glad you have your life instead of others. While I admire younger Mingler's coping with today's world I would not want to be you even if it meant a younger sexy body (that made me have to outrun the wolves so many of you seem to be harrassed by), more money (and the bills that go with them), kids (which do help keep you young and easier to be with than the grands that are off with their parents), or even work (THANK God I am retired.)

Occasionally it makes me think. There are a lot of views here and some off them are actually backed up with reasoning so I find many of them credible. Other times it makes me wonder how I can contribute. I read about cares and concerns and the various perspectives and am often struck how so many things repeat themselves. Makes some things seem less personal.

Sometimes it is really entertaining. I like humor and word play and some of you are very articulate and funny. I like the art and photos and poems. I see a lot of writing talent. Some of the profiles are very interesting. Jumpstart my imagination a lot of times. A couple of you that keep changeing your icons are a hoot just to see what you come up with.

This site has not been particularly helpful dateing since most of the people I find attractive in my age range are very far away. On fixed income where you own your home 50 miles is a long way. I think the raw numbers are always skewed when people get older because the age range gets more competative. Especially when younger women are willing to date decidely older men. While occasionally you see the reverse but it is very rare. Maybe if you had more boxes to address living situations. I really would like to know if a person rents versus owns, lives with pets, has room mates, drives, is supporting adult children or parents, was willing to relocate. Be nice to know a person's educational level. Be nice to know if the person has been divorced more than once. Be nice to know if the person requires prenup or would sign one. My response to these issues are very fixed from experience so it is not like I am willing to just see how it runs out. If that makes me heavily ladden or nuerotic I guess it applies.
Lol over fifty many just want FWB's so some things never change but there are a lot of new issues; usually health related. Because I did the waiting wife thing. I don't really want to do the long distance lover thing. At my age I don't have as much time or money to waste. Big difference in moving and entire life of friends, family, and possesions. Somehow a keyboard is not a lot of comfort. Just raw numbers of people over 50 on this site are very limited. Many of my "mutual matches" really are not matches.

Do I use computer dateing to escape the real life scenario for dateing? oh yea. Doing a little converseing with someone you can find out a lot. Especially if someone is old enough to be 30+.

First off they have probably developed a track record. If they are going to have a problem learning, working, manageing alcohol, or useing drugs, mismanageing money it's going to start showing. A fast computer check can give you the straight answer because most of it is out there to find as public information. Useing the delete key on line is much faster and safer than finding this information out in person. And yes while occasionally the records are wrong that is much rarer than people who will lie to you. The good older people usually don't mind you seeing they are clean if it passes the casual stage. They know at least one friend who has been snookered or they themselves have. I think older people are more worried about Identity theft and or being embarrassed in their job and just refuse to use computer dateing. I am not sure it is being so disfunctional that they can't date.

And you think it is bad having parent's breathing down your neck about dateing wait until your kids are big enough to think they can stick their nose in your business also. Kids rarely ever think of their parents house as anything remotely less private than the family home that they can come and go from at will without knocking. And most of the possessions as their inheritance right down to the bed sheets. Taking your own in does not guarantee you can hang on to it; if you can't produce reciepts. Package deal takes on a whole new meaning when the Ex or Siblings gets to disposess you from your home once the kids are grown or Mom or Dad dies.

When one parent gets the kids and the house/morgage it doesn't always mean the other parent flourishies financially. I have seen non-custodial parents trashed emotionally, socially, and financially; even had their careers shot down and you can't recover from that as easily as it sounds even with a good attitude about not whineing about what happened/baggage. When you are 10 to 15 years behind the curve you pull anyone you get involved with down. I am not really eager to back up. Especially that dramaticlly.

The number of people who believe baloney about being widowed abound. Getting some of that out of the way on line helps. It is definitely a different experience than divorce but it seems like people want you to react the same way.

I believe there is some truth to the assertion that many people do not use a site like this until they've been burned in a relationship. However, there may be another contributing factor.

Lack of daily access to a large amount of singles makes this an attractive venue for the more "mature" adult. Many of those 20 year olds you speak of are still going to school. They have greater access to dating possibilities without using the internet.

There are far fewer opportunities to meet and talk to women in the course of my day than when I was 20...

anxiety and trust issues here.

i think its true.

Does baggage equate to having responsibilities? If so, then i guess i have baggage, if however we r talking emotional baggage (in the sense we havent came to terms with something), then that is similar to being bitter, which is something i am not.

When i very first started coming online, about 4-5yrs ago, i found it was an easier way to meet new ppl, cos as a single mum, i didnt get out very often. And i think that is mostly the case why ppl come online, for some reason or another, ppl dont get the chance to go out very often cos of commitments like kids, or a very busy working life.

Ppl can be bitter in the real world too, so its not so surprising that ppl can be like that online, but i dont think ppl have to hve been burned/let down/dissappointed to come online and fit in.

I would think everyone's experience and/or reasons are different. For me, after my husband died, I dated a couple of other widowered men. I honestly didn't know anyone in my "in person" life TO date. I came here when a friend from my widowed chat site insisted it was "time for me to get back out there again". I said I would, and was only enjoying the forums, making friends. Sure, I would say I was bruised and completely disappointed! Life didn't go the way I'd planned.