Topic: Looking for Mr. Goodbar
Voluptuous's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:30 AM


Yes, aware.

I don't think using different people for different "needs" is appropriate.



You don't get it... you don't get it. frown You're assuming and judging based on what you think we are talking about.

It is sorta funny.


Could be entirely possible...I read the initial question. I haven't sifted through the rest of the conversation...maybe it went in a different direction somewhere along the way. :laughing: flowerforyou

Lily0923's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:31 AM



Yes, aware.

I don't think using different people for different "needs" is appropriate.



Because you don't do that? All of your friends are treated EXACTLY the same, all of your relatives are visited the same amount? Everyone has catagories for people if you say you don't you are lieing or are oblivious to it which is sad either way.


Having friends and family is one thing but when you DATE the one guy and SCREW someone else- thats another thing.
Don't see how you can even compare the two.what
The same can be applied to a business...you visit certain stores for certain items.
We are talking about USING people.
The friendships I have are genuine. I I appreciate each individual for their own uniqueness.
I do not keep one person around because I like to screw them and have the other to stimulate my mind.
If the guy I'm screwing cannot stimulate my mind- then I have NO business sleeping with him.

Everyone has categories- you are right.
Try not to impersonalize a "relationship".

It's just my Opinion...I am not about to wait around to get my head bit off by you ladies.
...If you think it is ok...then great. I hope you find the best of both worlds yourselves.flowerforyou


You are only using people if you are not upfront with your actions, if you date alot of people casually and are honest about what you do, it gives them the choice to continue or to not continue. What's wrong with that?

Honesty is key here, if you are honest and upfront, then no one gets hurt.

no photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:31 AM

Do you think richard geres perfect dream girl in the back of his mind- the one with all his preconceived qualities and traits- is in a little cage running around on an excersise wheel in a pet store?


Now THAT I would call Hyper-Exotic!


Lily0923's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:32 AM

Do you think richard geres perfect dream girl in the back of his mind- the one with all his preconceived qualities and traits- is in a little cage running around on an excersise wheel in a pet store?


Listen I just ate....ill

lilith401's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:33 AM

my guide for living in the 80s!!
:banana:


Ohhh do share?

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:34 AM


Having friends and family is one thing but when you DATE the one guy and SCREW someone else- thats another thing.


This is not about the actions.

This is about the feelings and perceptions behind a bifurcated wants/needs scenario, and the influences that go into this.


...correct. Subliminal correction. Why did we do that? Acting out of normal character because of our duality in needs.

no photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:37 AM

...correct. Subliminal correction. Why did we do that? Acting out of normal character because of our duality in needs.


And from there, I broke it down to "Why do I WANT that?"

Once I understood that part, it all became very very clear to me. At the same time, I realized it might be impossible to fix.

Another dichotomy.


lilith401's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:39 AM
Yep.... I learned I look for weaknesses in men so I can use that as an excuse.

I have dated, somewhat successfully, only sociopaths, with the exception of a philandering narsissist. What does that tell you?

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:41 AM
Very true. And we have experienced it. All four of us. We have all dated someone out of character for one reason or another and asked ourselves why we did that. Curiosity and abstract needs clouded our normal correct judgement.

Lily0923's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:44 AM

Very true. And we have experienced it. All four of us. We have all dated someone out of character for one reason or another and asked ourselves why we did that. Curiosity and abstract needs clouded our normal correct judgement.


When did you get smart GAWD???

Look at the big brains on LHB....

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:45 AM
I dated problematic manic depressants who persued me and my happy life in hopes of curing their lives. Scary.

lilith401's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:45 AM


Very true. And we have experienced it. All four of us. We have all dated someone out of character for one reason or another and asked ourselves why we did that. Curiosity and abstract needs clouded our normal correct judgement.


When did you get smart GAWD???

Look at the big brains on LHB....


I know, I think he is now funny and smart....

no photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:46 AM


Very true. And we have experienced it. All four of us. We have all dated someone out of character for one reason or another and asked ourselves why we did that. Curiosity and abstract needs clouded our normal correct judgement.


When did you get smart GAWD???

Look at the big brains on LHB....


He's always had that. He just knows how to obscure it when necessary....!


Lily0923's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:46 AM

Yep.... I learned I look for weaknesses in men so I can use that as an excuse.

I have dated, somewhat successfully, only sociopaths, with the exception of a philandering narsissist. What does that tell you?


We dated the same guys? No, uhm, we look for the same unattainable qualities in a man when in reality we should be looking for ATTAINABLE qualities...YEP.

Office visit with psychologist $150
Lunch with Lily $20
Friendship with Lily...priceless.

lilith401's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:47 AM
Well, I think that for a relatively smart person who is pretty self aware, I'm a freaking fudging frickin idiot.

tngxl65's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:47 AM


Having friends and family is one thing but when you DATE the one guy and SCREW someone else- thats another thing.


This is not about the actions.

This is about the feelings and perceptions behind a bifurcated wants/needs scenario, and the influences that go into this.




I was going to say that. (belching, and adjusting myself)

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:48 AM


Very true. And we have experienced it. All four of us. We have all dated someone out of character for one reason or another and asked ourselves why we did that. Curiosity and abstract needs clouded our normal correct judgement.


When did you get smart GAWD???

Look at the big brains on LHB....
...its those two BAS degrees that lie in a cardboard box in the garage creeping out of me. Ha ha ha.

Lily0923's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:51 AM

Well, I think that for a relatively smart person who is pretty self aware, I'm a freaking fudging frickin idiot.
Aceptance is the first step, now move on.... why do you think I haven't dated in a year? I wasn't ready....

longhairbiker's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:52 AM
Would you feel better if I fart? Pppppppfffffttttt!!! Oooohh! Look! Gerbil hair! No! I swear! I didn't date richard geres ex girlfreind! Honest!

Lily0923's photo
Fri 10/17/08 09:54 AM

Would you feel better if I fart? Pppppppfffffttttt!!! Oooohh! Look! Gerbil hair! No! I swear! I didn't date richard geres ex girlfreind! Honest!


You dated her when he was in Tibet trying to free it like all of the other celebs who have nothing better to do with their time....:wink: