Topic: Do people find love or create love?
no photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:15 PM
Edited by MindyMindy on Fri 11/21/08 06:24 PM
Who are you replying to TelephoneMan with your references post?

edit
O I C it wasn't me. Never-mined

TelephoneMan's photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:18 PM

TelephoneMan thank you very much for the serious and thoughtful response. I was hoping for serious responses like yours.

This is my favorite line....."Love is deeper and more meaningful. Love is what you do all the rest of the time when you're NOT having sex"

I heard that somewhere else and it's something I say. I can't believe you know it too. I mean I can believe it.......it's just odd seeing one of my favorite lines popping up in someone else's post. I don't remember who first said it.


I'm speaking from experience. I'm now divorced, etc... but when I met my ex, picked her up in a Corvette, she looked hot as hell, couldn't keep my hands off of her... before the end of the date we were "doing it" down by a lake out in the mountains... developed a very powerful and sexy relationship from day one... but... we forgot to do the "friendship" thing... when the "honey moon" of the great sex wore off, neither of us like one another. I couldn't stand the things she thought were precious and worth while, and she thought the same about anything I appreciated. Ended in a very bitter divorce.

So I had to learn the part about friendship the HARD way.

I do not believe what my ex-wife and I shared was ever "love"... it was just hormones and lust, and we should have never gotten married so fast. We got married 8 months after we met for the first time. Not a good plan for success. If we would have dated a year, we would have broken up...

TelephoneMan's photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:21 PM


IF I may ask...would you please site your source...I find it helpful.



I just spent 50+ hours doing non-stop research papers and citing wisdom from across the galaxy... I don't think citing sources in an online discussion is called for...

Every body here is entitled to an opinion. If you don't agree, that's fine... but nobody needs to back up anything on a silly entertainment page... LOL

Lighten up source searcher...

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Fri 11/21/08 06:22 PM
Edited by MindyMindy on Fri 11/21/08 06:25 PM
To TelephoneMan regarding your post ^^two up. ....Ouch! Sorry for that. I do worry about that myself. When I meet guys I sometimes fall for their looks or sexiness and I wonder if I really like THEM or just their looks.

I see some hot looking guys at work that I know I would not get along with but boy do I wish I could .............stuff.

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Fri 11/21/08 06:23 PM
Edited by MindyMindy on Fri 11/21/08 06:24 PM
.

TelephoneMan's photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:27 PM
Edited by TelephoneMan on Fri 11/21/08 06:30 PM

To TelephoneMan regarding your post ^^two up. ....Ouch! Sorry for that. I do worry about that myself. When I meet guys I sometimes fall for their looks or sexiness and I wonder if I really like THEM or just their looks.

I see some hot looking guys at work that I know I would not get along with but boy do I wish I could .............stuff.


One word of wisdom...

"Never (ever ever ever) get you honey where you make your money..."

Been there... done that... boy does it suck when it goes bad...

<<edit...lol>>

"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger..."
--------------------Philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche

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Fri 11/21/08 06:30 PM
Telephoneman


One word of wisdom...

"Never (ever ever ever) get you honey where you make your money..."

Been there... done that... boy does it suck when it goes bad...


I know what you mean but most people in my town seem to eat where I work (it's a small town) so that use to be tough. Now I am on Mingle.....so I will try to get my Honey from out of town.

You are right. My ex boyfriend still has lunch here. It get awkward.


kidatheart70's photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:35 PM


Most believe there is a perfect person for them out there in the world. Some call these people soul mates.

However.....
Most people marry people that live near them. People they work with or go to school with...etc. (so says a website on marriage statistics). Look at how many people marry their H.S. sweethearts. I bet most of these people would say their spouse is their true love or soul mate.

So it seems most people's true love or soul mate just happens to live nearby. Really?

Seems to me that we create love, not find it. We find someone who is closest to what we want and then we find things to love about them. We create and build love.

If we really only feel in love with that one perfect person we would have a heck of a time finding that person in this big world. Then they might be married to THEIR soul mate.

What do you think? Are you searching for your one and only soul mate or are you searching for just a good person that you will then create love with?







Hey Lisa!! Great to see you again!!


Ms. Mindy Mindy~
You stated in the post that I quoted that you found the info on a website...that would be your source.

also, on a side note..when you use words like "most" that implies that you have some source that would confirm it as fact...

IF, in fact, this is just your own opinion or hypothesis, then what research or statistical set of demographics do you base your opinion on?

Several times you mention that "most people" blah, blah,blah...

How many people is "most" people, or what "most" people...

I still do not agree with you about "creating" love...nor, do I agree with any of the "most" people theories that you seem to embrace...

Thanks for asking!!!




Why so hostile?scared

celtic_kitten's photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:36 PM
the whole theory behind soul mates is that they are two parts of something that used to be one

the one being is broken into two part which become the souls for two beings... finding your "soul mate" is in theory supposed to be finding your other half
i think that finding your soul mate or other half is supposed to happen... whether they end up living next door or on the other side of the world, somehow you are supposed to meet them at some point during your life

TelephoneMan's photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:39 PM

the whole theory behind soul mates is that they are two parts of something that used to be one

the one being is broken into two part which become the souls for two beings... finding your "soul mate" is in theory supposed to be finding your other half
i think that finding your soul mate or other half is supposed to happen... whether they end up living next door or on the other side of the world, somehow you are supposed to meet them at some point during your life


I was thinking about this...

...and King Solomon must have had a very fractured soul, because he had like 1,000 wives...

...if only my soul was that fractured...

...I wonder, did he know all their names?

celtic_kitten's photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:41 PM


the whole theory behind soul mates is that they are two parts of something that used to be one

the one being is broken into two part which become the souls for two beings... finding your "soul mate" is in theory supposed to be finding your other half
i think that finding your soul mate or other half is supposed to happen... whether they end up living next door or on the other side of the world, somehow you are supposed to meet them at some point during your life


I was thinking about this...

...and King Solomon must have had a very fractured soul, because he had like 1,000 wives...

...if only my soul was that fractured...

...I wonder, did he know all their names?


so you are saying that all of his wives were his soul mates?

I don't think everyone marries their soul mate... just because someone gets married to someone else does not necessarily mean they married their other half

no photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:44 PM
I have found 2 people that spoke to my soul
not sure if there are any more

I think we create love because we need it in our lives
and love finds us when we least expect it

at least that has been my experience


no photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:45 PM

What do you think? Are you searching for your one and only soul mate or are you searching for just a good person that you will then create love with?


There's the issue of mathematical practicality. If there is only one out of three billion (let's say that half of the world's population is your preferred gender), the odds are you will never find that person.

If you met one person, per second, starting from the day you were born, and never took a single second off to sleep or eat or go to the bathroom, it would take you about 31 years to meet ONE billion people.

It isn't feasible.

Most people I know have given in to time and "reason" and the desire to avoid loneliness at all costs. Hell, I did it myself -- I was married once. Huge mistake.

But I learned -- better to be alone than be with the wrong person for the 95th time.



no photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:48 PM
heartSoul

I have found 2 people that spoke to my soul
not sure if there are any more

I think we create love because we need it in our lives
and love finds us when we least expect it

at least that has been my experience



You have the perfect user name for this topic. :smile:

I don't even know if I would know if someone spoke to my soul. Maybe I am too young.

Great profile you have. I need mine to be more like yours. Maybe I could get guys responding that are closer to what I am looking for.



Lily0923's photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:53 PM

Most believe there is a perfect person for them out there in the world. Some call these people soul mates.

However.....
Most people marry people that live near them. People they work with or go to school with...etc. (so says a website on marriage statistics). Look at how many people marry their H.S. sweethearts. I bet most of these people would say their spouse is their true love or soul mate.

So it seems most people's true love or soul mate just happens to live nearby. Really?

Seems to me that we create love, not find it. We find someone who is closest to what we want and then we find things to love about them. We create and build love.

If we really only feel in love with that one perfect person we would have a heck of a time finding that person in this big world. Then they might be married to THEIR soul mate.

What do you think? Are you searching for your one and only soul mate or are you searching for just a good person that you will then create love with?







You are confusing the words,love, relationships, marriage, and soul mates first off.

Love is a state of mind or an unexplained emotional attachment to someone.

Relationships are what you have with people you are compatable with.

Marriage is something you do with someone you have both love for and a relationship with.

and soul mates come in many forms, not only and least likely are the romantic type. Soul mates are people you have known in another lifetime, they can be friends, enemies, loved ones or romantic attachments.

If you do find the "romantic" soul mate, when you begin to have sex with them it overloads the balance of energy and you burn each other up.

You do not always get to have relationships with people you love, you do not always have love for the people you are in relatinships with, and hardly ever do you have a lasting relationship with a soul mate (romantically speaking) a soul mate should never come out of the "friend zone" and that way you will have them the rest of your life...

These things take time and patience and lots of trial and error, most of all they come with experience and wisdom.


no photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:54 PM
LexFonteyne

.........
If you met one person, per second, starting from the day you were born, and never took a single second off to sleep or eat or go to the bathroom, it would take you about 31 years to meet ONE billion people.......



Lexfonteyne.... You sound just like a guy. :wink: lol. We girls don't care about math....we want love.

I know what you mean though.

.....But I learned -- better to be alone than be with the wrong person for the 95th time.

I don't have the experience yet to know if that's true for me. I do know I am afraid of being alone. I don't want to be alone.

no photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:55 PM

I do know I am afraid of being alone. I don't want to be alone.


I don't either. But what's worse is being with someone and WISHING you WERE alone -- and I've been there way too many times already....


izzie's photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:59 PM
ok while i pondered the wording of my answer to this i DID google your marrage statistics..
and could find NO source that stated what you did about marrying high school sweethearts and such..

if you do have that site i would like to take a look at it.. i find it intriguing (sp sorry)

however i DO find your OP thought provoking, and i was plesently suprised by it.

AllenAqua's photo
Fri 11/21/08 06:59 PM

Most believe there is a perfect person for them out there in the world. Some call these people soul mates.

However.....
Most people marry people that live near them. People they work with or go to school with...etc. (so says a website on marriage statistics). Look at how many people marry their H.S. sweethearts. I bet most of these people would say their spouse is their true love or soul mate.

So it seems most people's true love or soul mate just happens to live nearby. Really?

Seems to me that we create love, not find it. We find someone who is closest to what we want and then we find things to love about them. We create and build love.

If we really only feel in love with that one perfect person we would have a heck of a time finding that person in this big world. Then they might be married to THEIR soul mate.

What do you think? Are you searching for your one and only soul mate or are you searching for just a good person that you will then create love with?







I think you're right, and we do create it . I'm not searching so much as I am just hoping to be found. Not even that really... I guess I'm just continually learning to be the best me possible and learning to appreciate that for it's own sake. If someone else who fits my life in a profound way comes along and we both end up appreciating each other, well... yippee to the nth degree but if not, I still have my crayons and tonka trucks...

Lily0923's photo
Fri 11/21/08 07:00 PM

I do know I am afraid of being alone. I don't want to be alone.


That will leave you alone more than anything else in the world...