Ok, I don't know where you live.. but there is no way kids around here or kids that I know are sexually active at 11 and 12... absolutely not on a 'regular basis'

I never said on a regular basis, just that they are active, meaning they are experimenting with sex, seeing what it feels like nad what allt he hub bub is about it. And yes, even in your state, county, city (or clsoest city if yo live somewhere like my godmother, lol one blink and the towns gone) 11 and 12 year olds are becoming sexually active. And again, I am notimplying every single one of them is, but more and more of them are. And they definitely DO know what sex IS, physicaally speaking.

ok, Im sorry.. I took you saying 'regular basis' as you saying 'regular basis'.....

----Kids are becoming sexually active themselves at age 11 and 12 on a regular basis now, and no I am not going ot post articles about htat in here.----

I'm extremely informed. I have a child that talks to me. I easily know over 50 11 yr. olds and they do not know about sex. They do know about their own bodies though. Sex education is taught in the 7th grade here, btw.

And where do you live that kids have sex regularly at 11 and 12 yrs. old? If you see that, then the parents aren't involved in the children's life enough.

My cousin and my neighbor both have 12 yr. old girls. They do not know about sex either.

And where I come from the parents aren't noisy enough for their children to hear. They wait until they're gone.
Btw, I never heard my parents.

And, again, what does sex have to do with the fact that his child should not be seeing and knowing what is going on with him and his ex. They are children!

Search "irregardless" in:

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* irregardless


Main Entry:
ir·re·gard·less Listen to the pronunciation of irregardless
Pronunciation:
\ˌir-i-ˈgärd-ləs\
Function:
adverb
Etymology:
probably blend of irrespective and regardless
Date:
circa 1912

nonstandard : regardless
usage Irregardless originated in dialectal American speech in the early 20th century. Its fairly widespread use in speech called it to the attention of usage commentators as early as 1927. The most frequently repeated remark about it is that “there is no such word.” There is such a word, however. It is still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to time in edited prose. Its reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/irregardless

The most frequently repeated remark about it is that “there is no such word.” There is such a word, however

just because it is nonstantard does not mean it is not a word it is what it is

and it is

a non standard word

Interesting.

My son's therapist has a masters degree to.30 yrs experience and is wonderful.But of course research is the key.Irregardless,I would explain to your daughter that what goes on between two adults is just that and doesn't affect both parents love for her.Then I would have her talk to mom.
She is mad because you cried and she knows Mom is the cause but as we all know kids don't know everything that goes on.
Then I would get her a good therapist who is a neutral party.Family advice can screw things up even worse because they will choose sides.Good luck and welcome.

lol she said irregardless.. **beavis or butthead here***
guess you didnt read the posts before here

She needs to know that it is not her responsibility as a child to handle any of it. It is OK for her to be mad. Remind her that she hates what her mom DID not her Mom. And that is OK. As the "oldest" she is taking the caretaker roll and that is way to tough for a kid!! Hard enough for us (supposed) adults.

Sorry, I always end up being a thread stopper! As a mother of 5, grand mother of 4, I will tell you that 11 year olds know about sex. As soon as my kids came home from school with incorrect information we had THE TALK. My younger two were in 1st and 3rd grade when we had the talk. It is important that they know the truth. And when you start breaking it into FACTS they lose much of the curiosity.

I hope your daughter understands that nothing was her fault and not her job to fix things. She may feel she was responsible since she was home and you were at work. They do look at things that way. Best of luck. I do have a lot of experience in kids and life if you ever want to ask, just email me.

I don't have children so my post is a best guess.

Won't a child of that age generally reflect the emotions of her parents? If you seem okay with what happened and you seem to have moved past it then won't your daughter do the same?

I'm thinking she still sees unhappiness in you and that makes her sad thus she gets angry at her mom for hurting you.

Let her know that you are okay now, and that you have grown and moved on. Let her see you happy. If you are not yet okay then maybe don't let your daughter see your sadness.

Seems to me children's emotions are reflections of their parents emotions. This is an outsides view so take it for what you think it's worth.

I'm wondering if it's more than just seeing her father upset.. Sure she saw him upset and is angry.. but don't you think she is also angry now because the family is destroyed by her mother.. mommy and daddy no longer together.. 2 homes now.. life is changed.. that must bring a lot of anger towards her mother, not just seeing him upset.. she is upset too in her own way for her own reasons

The 11 yrs. old that I know do not know about sex. Tonight I was talking to a friend that has an 11 yr. old. This thread had me thinking and I asked her if her daughter knows about sex yet. She said no. I know 2 - 12 yrs. old that don't know about it either.

And this poor child should have never found out that her mother committed adultery and broke up the family.

She may feel like she HAS to take sides. You need to show her that she doesn't have to. You will basically have to give her permission to love her mother. I know that sounds weird, but it may be true. My youngest felt like she had to choose sides, mostly because her father made her feel like that. She was crying one night when at my house, and somehow it came out that she loves her father. I told her that I hoped so, that she is supposed to love him. I had to reassure her that it was ok. Maybe you just need to show her how to get over the betrayal.

I did it on purpose lol