MBD’s Survival guide for Christmas and other occasions

Ok this time of the year can be stressful to anyone. Here are a few tips to get you through the holidays but these ideas can work year round.

For mothers with a new born baby (This will work up to the age of 2)
Take the little bundle of joy to Toy-r-us. Sit him/her down in the middle of the isle and surround them with toys and take a picture. Put the toys back (optional) and leave. They’ll never know the difference and will grow up thinking they were really blessed with toys at such a young age when they look at the picture.

Does the neighbor have an annoying cat or dog. Slap a bow on it and give it to someone that owes you money. They’ll never come around anyway and you have rid yourself of the fur ball that’s been sh!ttin in your yard.

Buy a very expensive bottle of wine and a bottle of Boones Farm. Drink the expensive wine and re-fill the bottle with the Boones Farm. Chances are your friends don’t know the difference between expensive wines and rot gut wines anyway and they will be thrilled.

Write them a check. Make it for any amount you want. The check will read like this
Pay to the order of; “YOU”
$5,000
From “ME”
No bank will ever take a check like that! It’s the thought that counts right?

Now are ya hungry from all this shopping?
Go to Pizza Hut and bring along at least one friend and a dead bug.
The waitress will come up to take your order. Go ahead and order a large pizza and a large to go. Order a pitcher of beer. The waitress will return with the beer and plates for the number of people seated at the table. When she walks away, slip the dead bug in between the plates and start drinking the beer*. When she returns with the pizza she will begin serving it. Once she uncovers the dead bug everyone freaks out. The manager comes along and comps the pizza plus the one you ordered to go and the beer.
*You can get as many as 3 pitchers of beer down before the pizza is ready if you drink fast enough..

I got plenty more ideas but that’ll get ya started,

more, more I want more



{{{MBD}}}

(((Fran))) Love the dancin Santa

GET BACK TO WORK!!!!

I hope my boss doesn't join this site