perhaps jax you did strike a nerve yhough U!


Diane ty and when I tell Kelly good things all the time

she says stop being Dr. Phil".....lol

go get a hobbie".........LOl
I'm not your hobbie".....LOL

and I told her hobbies;!... You are not my hobbie, hobbies are fun!
...lol

But even the ugly spews cause me to laugh sometimes.........lol

My oldest brother was the worlds worst slob as a teen. At the age of 17
my father had enough so while my brother was at a friends house my
father decided it was time to clean. Everything went to the dump (I mean
everthing). He had some collections that today would probably be worth
millions (every superman commic printed until like 1973, a baseball card
collection that would make your mouth water) and they all went to the
dump. All that was left was a bare mattress on the floor. They had a big
fight when he got home, but about a week later brother changed and
started to keep room clean (what he had left). After dad was was
convinced that he changed, he went to the storage he rented (dump) and
gave it all back to him. Brother is gone now but his three children
still to this day have those collections and until the day he pasted was
one of the most organized people I know.

Tough love is sometimes the best answer.

hey tantalizing how ya doing? One ting I notoced; although therre is a
lot f good advise here (especially about hte car being a privelege and
not a right) one hting was nt mentioned.

You said your daughter was academically involved, yet one of those
involvements was drama. Let me clear somethign up for you, and it will
piss your daughter off to no end trust me, but it is the truth.

Academics are defined as basic courses such as math english and science
( to name three).
drama, band, woodshop, all that, are extra curricular. What this means
is it is not neccesary. And as aparent you have control over what she
does in high school. if hse wont clean up after herself? take the
drama clyb away. DO not let her participate (drama cause youmentioned a
play she was in; sounds like she like drama).

Back to the car issue. Her father bought it? Make her father keep it.
You can refuse to let her have a car if youare custodial parent.
driving is not a legal right at any age, let alone when yhou are a
teenager. And if the father is telling her to argue with her, then you
sned ht e car right back to him and tell her she can onlydrive it when
she is staying with him. I garuntee the loss of a car will piss her off
initially but get her to thinking in the long run. And yes you can
legally deny any gift of a non-custodial parent if you decide it is too
detrimental to the health and welfare of the child in question. trust
me, I have sent several giftsback to my kids mother because ofthat right
there.

Not true daniel her extra things after school are all part of
scholarship considerations.

ty on your advice


Hugs Kim.

Hey Tulip!

Ya know, kids are just tough sometimes on many things. My twin
thirteen year old red-headed boys are a blast on one hand and a
nightmare on the other! I have other issues with their behaviuors as
well, but the neatness/organization thing really, really hits a nerve
with me.I have taught it since birth, yet they are like slobs too. They
spend more time trying to get out of doing something the right way, than
it would take to just do it the right way.
Call me what you wish, but there has been countless hours of my time
and consideration put into "re-work". I almost never bend. As the years
have passed, they are finally starting to recognize that they will have
much, much more time doing things that they like AFTER they do the
things that they must.My quote... "How many times do you want to do it?"

oh shucks creative i bend and weave all over the dern place.....


when they were young I didn't but now.......ugh.

well im not an expert, my 12 year old is a pretty clean person as far as
rooms and stuff go. maybe , and i dont know if you are or not, but i'd
stop doing he cleaning for her. let her do her laundry, wash only your
dishes, if she wants to eat off the clean ones then she'll have to do
them. might be a mess for awhile, but if you tell her from the get go
that your thru being the maid of the house maybe she'll try to do a
better job, of course being a teen she'll try to out last you on it, but
stick to your guns.

doc

Leave her to it. It's her own bad habit that will change when SHE is
ready. She will always be a slob but she will have spurts of cleanliness
when the need arises(you hope).

my hubby has add and has a similar problem. the only way for him to get
household things done is for him to make a list of what order to clean
things up in and do them one at a time. an acual written list. for ex.
put all dirty clothes in hamper, clean clothes in closet. jewlry in
jewlry box and so forth. this helps him focus his mind otherwise simple
tasks seem overwhelming to him.

thanks for all the suggestions ,I am taking them and anything else into
my open mind space. ty

You know I did the same thing to my mom. My dad was the one that gave me
everything, I was daddy's little girl. I moved in with my dad when I was
14 years old. When I got my liscense I thought that was my ticket to be
my own boss. I put my mom through hell. My dad's problem was he was
trying to be my best friend and not my parent. By the time he wanted to
get back ahold of me at the age of 17, I was already moved out and moved
in with my boyfriend at 18 I had my daughter. Well my real dad pushed me
away, i don't speak to him much now and my mom and I are best friends.
As for the slob part she will grow out of it I was the same way and now
I am a neat freak, and have to have everything organized. It may seem
forever but she will come around. Just keep telling her how nice her
room would be if she done this and this. Even though you don't think she
is listening she is and later in life you will find that out. Trust me
she will regret alot of things when she gets older. Good luck!!

ty mommy I want her to learn


not have regrets


I was no piece of cake for sure with my mom

all the women i have dated their kids are lazy and self centered!...
not a good thing.

Geeeeeeeeeez sorry you experienced that


My Kel, is not self centered.


Just can't see well....lmao


ugh...........

Been there. Ick and yuck. First rule I had to make was
IF YOU ARE GOING TO KEEP LEAVING DISHES IN YOUR ROOM, GET YOUR OWN
DISHES.
Got sick and tired of having to search through there just to find a
plate to eat off.
Second rule
LEAVE IT OUT AND CONSIDER IT GONE
Yup, tossed a lot of stuff in the trash to keep from tripping over it.
Other rules were made as they became necessary.
When he was little
CLEAN YOUR ROOM OR ELSE I WILL
letting him know that anything I didn't understand got thrown out.
Happened once, he never left anything out of place after that. How was I
supposed to know those sticks were his cherished pretend "arrows"?

lmao boo!


great idea make her buy her own dishes rotf....



as I stated B4 goes way beyond the bedroom it is stuff that I cannot
even put on public forum.


and yes I am a clean person as well as my home...

to someone who had asked can't remember who now??

i would say you have done your job and set a good example.some things
our kids must learn the hard way.while its not fair to you and not
meaning this in a bad way no one ever told you raising kids would be
easy or fair im sure.keep your chin up nothing lasts forever :)

thanks okd

awww (( tulip )) I have two teens and a toddler and the war on the mess
is never won it seems I know the battle ground well , from what I have
read it sounds like you have done a pretty good job and she is not a bad
kid just a messy one , and my mother and I ,, oh boy we had our
differences (she died last year ) any how ,, I try to keep the tension
down and the lines open for communication , when she is a bit older and
on her own she will come around on the tidyness , you have taught her
how she just doesn't WANT to apply it ,, ( I was a slob ....lol )
and my kids are slobs ,,(they do not know I was ) lol ...but it is not
that unusual for kids to treat mom like ((and my mom used to say this))
Chief Cook and Bottle Washer ,,, it is hard to see your home getting
trashed I know , I have a disability and I cant keep up with the mess
and fightin for cleanliness seems to just disrupt the peace sooooooooooo
,,,bleh ,, lost my point ,, your not alone though ...lol

thank you purple........


that was really nice and calming....


true too!