Do you take them? Do you try to lay them on someone? How do you handle someone who tries to put you on one?

No, I don't take them - they're not mine.

No, I don't give them - they're not theirs to have.

The first thing I do is repeat back them what they've just said... "so what I hear you saying is..*paraphrase their words here*" - I find that sometimes people don't realize what they've said or how it has come across; and I point out that they're coming acorss as if to induce a feeling of guilt from me. If indeed they do mean it as a guilt inducing statement, I then explain to them that perhaps they need to give that some more thought - that perhaps they're having issues with the topic/situation because that is not how it appears to me. I share with them my perspective, lovingly and without judgement, at this point.

I've found that more often than not, even if we don't agree - we've learned how the other thinks/feels about this topic/situation and are able to agree to disagree.

It also can begin to set the foundation for a more respectful, loving way of communicating with this person - over time. No one learns good communication skills the first time out.

I have taken them. I try not to anymore.
I have given them. I have made good progress in not giving them anymore.

Coping with one someone has tried to put on me? Sometimes it hasn't gone very well at all and it has sacrificed my spirit and self esteem. Other times, I have asserted myself with dignity and been very fortified by the results.

I don't play games.

It is a form of a game sometimes. People will use it to try to manipulate another.

When it's family members, I think it's even tougher to handle the "trips".

I dont buy into those games

I play around and say things like.......

It's ok, I know I'm not important enough, I know I dont matter enough.. stuff like that.. but they absolutely know Im joking and purposefully playing around doing the guilt trip thing...

When it comes to being serious I don't play games with people putting them in an actual guilt trip to try to manipulate them...

As for me I don't fall for guilt trips, the benefit of having a heart of stone...

Although my sister or family will so the same little playing-around-not-serious guilt trip stuff and I don't always resist

I don't do guilt trips.
I do not accept guilt trips.
I actually have stopped, during the course of work, and spoken to Professional Guilt-trippers, and told them that somebody, somewhere, gives a rip about their opinions.

Manipulation is not necessarily a negative word, although most people would tend to think so.

All children learn to manipulate their environments in order to survive in their families of origin. Some have to find more extreme ways than others to survive our childhoods, due to circumstances beyond our control.

Once we are able to go off on our own, we do not need these same skills and tools for our interactions with most people anymore, but it has already become a part of us, for better or worse.

Its only a problem when we use our "tools" rigidly, use too few to the exclusion of others, or use mainly our most primitive tools. For example, those of: Denial, Distortion/Fantasy, Projection, Acting Out, Passive Aggression, and Idealization.

For those who might not know:

manipulate |məˈnipyəˌlāt|

verb [ trans. ]

1 handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner : he manipulated the dials of the set.
2 control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously : the masses were deceived and manipulated by a tiny group.


Thesaurus
manipulate
verb

3 the government tried to manipulate the situation
control, influence, use/turn to one's advantage, exploit, maneuver, engineer, steer, direct, gerrymander; twist someone around one's little finger.

4 they accused him of manipulating the data
falsify, rig, distort, alter, change, doctor, massage, juggle, tamper with, tinker with, interfere with, misrepresent; informal cook, fiddle with.