Honestly when you are over 40 are you just asking to much to fall in love.

So much of the matching I see when people get "older and wiser" is more of seeing whether someone fulfills a long laundry list of requirements.

If someone fulfills the list do they then fall in love? I don't think so. They are just making a rational pragmatic choice. Maybe that's the best way to do it.

How often are two people in love anyway. Isn't usually one sided with the other partner in need of the other?

I think I just see to many dam romantic movies and need to get real.

Please only answer this if you are going to be bleeding to death honest. I don't think anyone in the forum want to hear from Mary Poppins.

Falling in love has not changed, people have changed.

I think people over 40, hell over 30 are just more realistic about love. I think once we fall, it's a deeper hole. It's not that romantic dream, it's reality based.

i thought i was past it a few times.

Love is great, just not for me!

its for all ages

I feel that there are more women who I have met now.
Who say LOVE but just want the lust.
Than I did have when I was a teenager....lol
Love is HARDER after we have all had break-ups..
And so by the time your forty,,MOST have a set TYPE of person they are seeking.
And their preferences mean EVERYTHING to their image they hold their other to..so love comes very few chances to their expectations in thought.
Just my thoughts.

One sentence people! Come on please give some developed thought an observations on this.

I was hoping for more than a Hallmark card.

iam4you has an interesting point, so maybe the more structures you build for what you want creates actually inhibits you from being able to fall in love. But how do you learn from the past and sit enable yourself to fall in love?

thats just too bad.

its not dead... its out there... but its rare.

So MeChrissy2

Being realistic does it still make your heart jump or is it just a good solid decision.

it's not them, it's me!

Not only for the young.

I am just more careful who I give my heart to.

honestly thats not to hard to figure out on your own is it?

buttons

Need a little more than that.
To figure out yes figure out no figure that it is this way?

Sure it makes your heart jump, it just takes you longer to realize it.

and why is that?

Like to get the benefit of others experience. Its been a very long time since I fell in love.

LOL sugar.. i never doubted that.

I'm not sure more mature singletons "fall," rather tip-toe in love. Life experiences and past poor judgment ought to make us wiser, if not, we are bound to repeat the same stupid, throw-caution-to-the-wind decisions...which, consequently, turn out the same sucky way the others have.

Do we look at partnership differently? Certainly! Not only that, I am certain we, the over 40 crowd. would most likely even define "love" differently than not only the younger crowd, but even differently than we, ourselves, once defined it.

Thankfully, however, my being "long in the tooth" did not taint my positive outlook, or make me totally cynical. While I was prepared to explore life as a single woman, as it turns out, I won't be doing so.

About 18 months ago, I met my now husband on this very site, albeit the site was called, Just Say Hi. We were married November 3, 2007 and I dare say I have never been happier--most likely because my past fairytale idea of love was shattered and reality got through my thick skull.

Not only am I more accepting of other (men) and their limitations (just like women!) they are people....not some figment of my girlhood imagination.

My husband is NOT just like me. He does not think like I do, he does not work through problems the same way I do. He does not communicate the way I do. He does not have the same pastime interests as I do. He doesn't love the way I do. He doesn't cry the way I do. If he did do all of those things the way I do.....one of us would be unnecessary!

I don't love all of the differences any more than he does, but we respect them and there are times and circumstances in which we actually revel in the differences between us.

You see, not only do we love one another, oddly enough, we actually LIKE each other, and that's more than OK with me!