Topic: help plz
no photo
Thu 01/22/09 10:41 AM
so i hung out with an ex this past week witch im thinking was a bad idea. shes kinda crazy i think. but here it is.... i got a DWI about 6 months back and im on probation. im only 21 and have a history of drug and alcohol abuse. ive takin ito consideration and have be going to IOP program which has helped me stay very clean. now when i was with her she did not like me going because there were girls in the group but now that ive finished the program ive started the after care program witch is something i chosse to do. so yesterday she told me to chose between here and the program. my being sober comes first right now but is this sh** she is doing NORMAL for most women or is she TOO jealus. i dont go to group to meet people to date i go to stay alive and she does not seem to understand that

no photo
Thu 01/22/09 10:45 AM
Do the After-Care program.:wink:

cityblues21's photo
Thu 01/22/09 10:48 AM
Yes, regardless of her issues with jealousy, you need to take care of yourself first. Seems she should be supporting you instead of giving you an ultimatum.

no photo
Thu 01/22/09 10:50 AM
Edited by becca777 on Thu 01/22/09 10:51 AM
she doesn't sound like the sh!t to me

if she can't understand how important this is...then perhaps she should wait til you're finished with the program.

rlynne's photo
Thu 01/22/09 10:51 AM

so i hung out with an ex this past week witch im thinking was a bad idea. shes kinda crazy i think. but here it is.... i got a DWI about 6 months back and im on probation. im only 21 and have a history of drug and alcohol abuse. ive takin ito consideration and have be going to IOP program which has helped me stay very clean. now when i was with her she did not like me going because there were girls in the group but now that ive finished the program ive started the after care program witch is something i chosse to do. so yesterday she told me to chose between here and the program. my being sober comes first right now but is this sh** she is doing NORMAL for most women or is she TOO jealus. i dont go to group to meet people to date i go to stay alive and she does not seem to understand that



she's TOO jealous let her know that if you don't stay sober...she'll be attempting to compete with a bottle and she probably won't win....
and if she stays that jealous...she won't keep any relationship

no photo
Thu 01/22/09 10:52 AM
No, that is not normal behaviour for anyone. If she truly cared about you, she would want you to be healthy and would do her best to support you.

My advice, run and keep on running. She's not good for you.

no photo
Thu 01/22/09 10:57 AM
Apparently your smart enough to see what was happening to you.. And then did something about it.. continue with that .. If she doesn't support you in this then get away as fast as you can.. do not hesitate to leave her and her ways behind.think

aLittleBird's photo
Thu 01/22/09 10:57 AM

Do the After-Care program.:wink:



I agree!

no photo
Thu 01/22/09 11:00 AM
If she has a problem with you going to meetings, then let that be HER problem, not yours...seems she is more worried about herself than the fact that you are getting help...I will say a prayer for you and do hope you continue your journey

Fade2Black's photo
Thu 01/22/09 11:14 AM

so i hung out with an ex this past week witch im thinking was a bad idea. shes kinda crazy i think. but here it is.... i got a DWI about 6 months back and im on probation. im only 21 and have a history of drug and alcohol abuse. ive takin ito consideration and have be going to IOP program which has helped me stay very clean. now when i was with her she did not like me going because there were girls in the group but now that ive finished the program ive started the after care program witch is something i chosse to do. so yesterday she told me to chose between here and the program. my being sober comes first right now but is this sh** she is doing NORMAL for most women or is she TOO jealus. i dont go to group to meet people to date i go to stay alive and she does not seem to understand that



Dump her self-absorbed azz .. really.

no photo
Thu 01/22/09 11:14 AM
i just did not know if this was normal for someone who does not want there boyfriend to be around other girls, because there are girls in the group and a few are very pretty but i dint cheat on people thats what being single is for. ya shes a crazy one

adj4u's photo
Thu 01/22/09 11:21 AM
tell her sorry but it is something that needs to be done


do or else usually means you should take the or else especially when what yer doing is an improvement program
she is an x for a reason -- you need to put you first in this kind of stuff

GM4N's photo
Thu 01/22/09 11:21 AM
Yo bro!......First, congrats on you taking charge of your life!

Two, you need to get rid of this woman! She is having nothing to do with you, she only thinks of her and her alone!

Three, To ever take complete control of yourself you need to seperate you form all the negativity!

You need to be with people that support you not give you ultimatums!

just an opinion

glasses

SitkaRains's photo
Thu 01/22/09 12:43 PM

so i hung out with an ex this past week witch im thinking was a bad idea. shes kinda crazy i think. but here it is.... i got a DWI about 6 months back and im on probation. im only 21 and have a history of drug and alcohol abuse. ive takin ito consideration and have be going to IOP program which has helped me stay very clean. now when i was with her she did not like me going because there were girls in the group but now that ive finished the program ive started the after care program witch is something i chosse to do. so yesterday she told me to chose between here and the program. my being sober comes first right now but is this sh** she is doing NORMAL for most women or is she TOO jealus. i dont go to group to meet people to date i go to stay alive and she does not seem to understand that


Holy Crap batman. Can you say GF has serious issues. I am sorry but damn... Why do you want to be with this person? You are getting your life together and making some great choices. STICK to the program, don't throw it away on some girl that needs to get her head out of her butt.IMO

no photo
Thu 01/22/09 12:50 PM
well thx guys i thought maybe it was normal for girlfriends to act like that its my first relationship to last more then a few weeks lol.. im not big on that

Citizen_Joe's photo
Thu 01/22/09 01:42 PM
between here and the program. my being sober comes first right now but is this sh** she is doing NORMAL for most women or is she TOO jealus. i dont go to group to meet people to date i go to stay alive and she does not seem to understand that


It's not important that she understand it, really.
It's important that you don't forget it, REALLY.
A year from now, assuming you do stay sober and do some real work on yourself, you will realize how unimportant some things are. If you do it right, a year from now, you'll also find out how much of a non-friend you are in comparison to that day. (Not saying you're a bad person in the least)

If some woman whined about me spending an hour to go to an AA meeting, she wouldn't be in my life, pure and simple. It's not like she can't go with you for meetings that are open to all, for that matter, just to keep tabs on you. laugh laugh laugh laugh


On a very positive note, that very program helps keep me from losing what my talents bring to the table, so in a way, that future "she" probably should be encouraging of me continuing to do the things that made that hypothetical creature known as the one who fell in love with me. It's worked so far for more than 5 1/2 years for me.





Citizen_Joe's photo
Thu 01/22/09 01:43 PM

i just did not know if this was normal for someone who does not want there boyfriend to be around other girls, because there are girls in the group and a few are very pretty but i dint cheat on people thats what being single is for. ya shes a crazy one


If you want normal, look at your washing machine. No, it's not healthy to be that controlling. Usually, it's the guy doing that. Tell her to take some estrogen and call you in the morning.

choclablover's photo
Thu 01/22/09 01:44 PM


Do the After-Care program.:wink:



I agree!


^^^^^^ What they said

no photo
Thu 01/22/09 01:44 PM

between here and the program. my being sober comes first right now but is this sh** she is doing NORMAL for most women or is she TOO jealus. i dont go to group to meet people to date i go to stay alive and she does not seem to understand that


It's not important that she understand it, really.
It's important that you don't forget it, REALLY.
A year from now, assuming you do stay sober and do some real work on yourself, you will realize how unimportant some things are. If you do it right, a year from now, you'll also find out how much of a non-friend you are in comparison to that day. (Not saying you're a bad person in the least)

If some woman whined about me spending an hour to go to an AA meeting, she wouldn't be in my life, pure and simple. It's not like she can't go with you for meetings that are open to all, for that matter, just to keep tabs on you. laugh laugh laugh laugh


On a very positive note, that very program helps keep me from losing what my talents bring to the table, so in a way, that future "she" probably should be encouraging of me continuing to do the things that made that hypothetical creature known as the one who fell in love with me. It's worked so far for more than 5 1/2 years for me.


thank you sir