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Topic: Starting to get scared
no photo
Fri 04/10/09 12:03 AM
There are many sites with speeches on it.....you can STEAL THEM!!!pitchfork

Dan99's photo
Fri 04/10/09 12:04 AM

Short and humorous is best for almost any speech.

as far as stage fright goes: direct what you are saying to the groom. Mostly face him. That way, you aren't staring at the crowd.

Or, alternatively, you can direct it to the bride, as a warning about the groom :-)


Good advice, i like it. Thank you.

Dan99's photo
Fri 04/10/09 12:04 AM

There are many sites with speeches on it.....you can STEAL THEM!!!pitchfork


Let me guess...you didnt read this whole thread did you?! haha

no photo
Fri 04/10/09 12:10 AM


There are many sites with speeches on it.....you can STEAL THEM!!!pitchfork


Let me guess...you didnt read this whole thread did you?! haha
My time is money baby.....hell no!!!laugh laugh laugh

Dan99's photo
Fri 04/10/09 01:00 AM



There are many sites with speeches on it.....you can STEAL THEM!!!pitchfork


Let me guess...you didnt read this whole thread did you?! haha
My time is money baby.....hell no!!!laugh laugh laugh


I knew i could rely on you to give me lots of help with this!

Dan99's photo
Fri 04/10/09 10:56 AM
hoping for some more inspiration....

prisoner's photo
Fri 04/10/09 11:02 AM

In just under two months i am gonna be the Best Man at my friends wedding.

Which, of course, means i have to try to write and perform a funny speech.

I intended to get the speech written ages ago, but except for a page of scribbles i made a while back, i have barely started.

I'm not OVERLY worried about the actual writing of the speech, i can be pretty humourous when i put my mind to it. Its the performing of the speech which concerns me the most. I have never had to do any significant public speaking before. There are going to be over 150 people at this wedding, so its hardly a small crowd.

So, any advice? Any stories?

Any decent lines i could use? I need a good opener if anyone has one.

:smile: make a joke about rape you seemed to think it was a funny subject in here be seeing you

talldub's photo
Fri 04/10/09 11:05 AM

In just under two months i am gonna be the Best Man at my friends wedding.

Which, of course, means i have to try to write and perform a funny speech.

I intended to get the speech written ages ago, but except for a page of scribbles i made a while back, i have barely started.

I'm not OVERLY worried about the actual writing of the speech, i can be pretty humourous when i put my mind to it. Its the performing of the speech which concerns me the most. I have never had to do any significant public speaking before. There are going to be over 150 people at this wedding, so its hardly a small crowd.

So, any advice? Any stories?

Any decent lines i could use? I need a good opener if anyone has one.


Mate, you'll be fine. Just make sure to breathe deeply, speak slowly and clearly. I would say just be yourself but you might want to act nice on the day!

Try this opener from four weddings and a funeral (change the names as appropriate)!

When Bernard told me he was getting engaged to Lydia,
I congratulated him because all his other girlfriends were such complete dogs.

Although may I say how delighted we are to have so many of them here today.



Dan99's photo
Fri 04/10/09 11:10 AM
Edited by Dan99 on Fri 04/10/09 12:06 PM


In just under two months i am gonna be the Best Man at my friends wedding.

Which, of course, means i have to try to write and perform a funny speech.

I intended to get the speech written ages ago, but except for a page of scribbles i made a while back, i have barely started.

I'm not OVERLY worried about the actual writing of the speech, i can be pretty humourous when i put my mind to it. Its the performing of the speech which concerns me the most. I have never had to do any significant public speaking before. There are going to be over 150 people at this wedding, so its hardly a small crowd.

So, any advice? Any stories?

Any decent lines i could use? I need a good opener if anyone has one.

:smile: make a joke about rape you seemed to think it was a funny subject in here be seeing you


As (un)hilarious as the subject is, it is not appropriate for a wedding be seeing you.

Dan99's photo
Fri 04/10/09 11:12 AM


In just under two months i am gonna be the Best Man at my friends wedding.

Which, of course, means i have to try to write and perform a funny speech.

I intended to get the speech written ages ago, but except for a page of scribbles i made a while back, i have barely started.

I'm not OVERLY worried about the actual writing of the speech, i can be pretty humourous when i put my mind to it. Its the performing of the speech which concerns me the most. I have never had to do any significant public speaking before. There are going to be over 150 people at this wedding, so its hardly a small crowd.

So, any advice? Any stories?

Any decent lines i could use? I need a good opener if anyone has one.


Mate, you'll be fine. Just make sure to breathe deeply, speak slowly and clearly. I would say just be yourself but you might want to act nice on the day!

Try this opener from four weddings and a funeral (change the names as appropriate)!

When Bernard told me he was getting engaged to Lydia,
I congratulated him because all his other girlfriends were such complete dogs.

Although may I say how delighted we are to have so many of them here today.



There may actually be a little too much truth in that one! lol!


talldub's photo
Fri 04/10/09 11:17 AM



In just under two months i am gonna be the Best Man at my friends wedding.

Which, of course, means i have to try to write and perform a funny speech.

I intended to get the speech written ages ago, but except for a page of scribbles i made a while back, i have barely started.

I'm not OVERLY worried about the actual writing of the speech, i can be pretty humourous when i put my mind to it. Its the performing of the speech which concerns me the most. I have never had to do any significant public speaking before. There are going to be over 150 people at this wedding, so its hardly a small crowd.

So, any advice? Any stories?

Any decent lines i could use? I need a good opener if anyone has one.


Mate, you'll be fine. Just make sure to breathe deeply, speak slowly and clearly. I would say just be yourself but you might want to act nice on the day!

Try this opener from four weddings and a funeral (change the names as appropriate)!

When Bernard told me he was getting engaged to Lydia,
I congratulated him because all his other girlfriends were such complete dogs.

Although may I say how delighted we are to have so many of them here today.



There may actually be a little too much truth in that one! lol!



It's your duty to make him sweat like a pig on the day! Use it! LOL!

Dan99's photo
Fri 04/10/09 11:22 AM




In just under two months i am gonna be the Best Man at my friends wedding.

Which, of course, means i have to try to write and perform a funny speech.

I intended to get the speech written ages ago, but except for a page of scribbles i made a while back, i have barely started.

I'm not OVERLY worried about the actual writing of the speech, i can be pretty humourous when i put my mind to it. Its the performing of the speech which concerns me the most. I have never had to do any significant public speaking before. There are going to be over 150 people at this wedding, so its hardly a small crowd.

So, any advice? Any stories?

Any decent lines i could use? I need a good opener if anyone has one.


Mate, you'll be fine. Just make sure to breathe deeply, speak slowly and clearly. I would say just be yourself but you might want to act nice on the day!

Try this opener from four weddings and a funeral (change the names as appropriate)!

When Bernard told me he was getting engaged to Lydia,
I congratulated him because all his other girlfriends were such complete dogs.

Although may I say how delighted we are to have so many of them here today.



There may actually be a little too much truth in that one! lol!



It's your duty to make him sweat like a pig on the day! Use it! LOL!


Maybe i should tell the tranny story in that case!

talldub's photo
Fri 04/10/09 11:24 AM





In just under two months i am gonna be the Best Man at my friends wedding.

Which, of course, means i have to try to write and perform a funny speech.

I intended to get the speech written ages ago, but except for a page of scribbles i made a while back, i have barely started.

I'm not OVERLY worried about the actual writing of the speech, i can be pretty humourous when i put my mind to it. Its the performing of the speech which concerns me the most. I have never had to do any significant public speaking before. There are going to be over 150 people at this wedding, so its hardly a small crowd.

So, any advice? Any stories?

Any decent lines i could use? I need a good opener if anyone has one.


Mate, you'll be fine. Just make sure to breathe deeply, speak slowly and clearly. I would say just be yourself but you might want to act nice on the day!

Try this opener from four weddings and a funeral (change the names as appropriate)!

When Bernard told me he was getting engaged to Lydia,
I congratulated him because all his other girlfriends were such complete dogs.

Although may I say how delighted we are to have so many of them here today.



There may actually be a little too much truth in that one! lol!



It's your duty to make him sweat like a pig on the day! Use it! LOL!


Maybe i should tell the tranny story in that case!

I might skip that one if I were you! You want to make them squirm, not destroy them! lol


Dan99's photo
Fri 04/10/09 11:41 AM




Maybe i should tell the tranny story in that case!

I might skip that one if I were you! You want to make them squirm, not destroy them! lol




True. Its a shame though that the best stories are not ones i can use though.

I need to recollect some more good ones. I must have been out on the piss with this particular friend 500 times or more! There must be so much material somewhere at the back of my head.

I am going to get another friend over soon who can help me with it. This mate of mine is about as funny a guy as you would ever expect to meet, he should be useful.

talldub's photo
Fri 04/10/09 11:43 AM
Edited by talldub on Fri 04/10/09 11:44 AM





Maybe i should tell the tranny story in that case!

I might skip that one if I were you! You want to make them squirm, not destroy them! lol




True. Its a shame though that the best stories are not ones i can use though.

I need to recollect some more good ones. I must have been out on the piss with this particular friend 500 times or more! There must be so much material somewhere at the back of my head.

I am going to get another friend over soon who can help me with it. This mate of mine is about as funny a guy as you would ever expect to meet, he should be useful.

Use the best stories on the stag night!!

Just write everything you can think of, get all the stories down, then re-arrange it all later so it flows well. Remember to get a story or two about the bride as well from her family. Weddings are a great laugh (except for those getting married)!

Dan99's photo
Fri 04/10/09 12:14 PM
I dont know the brides family. I might just ask the groom to dish the dirt!

Although, her hobby is Bell Ringing, and i might take the piss out of her for that.

I was gonna say that Nick had told me that he really really wants to go bell ringing with her..

FreeToB's photo
Fri 04/10/09 12:35 PM

Pretend we here at this site are really there with you, and you have been talking to a very very large crowd all along? spock


Everyone except me that is. lol devil

Dan99's photo
Fri 04/10/09 01:14 PM
^^ I was gonna get you an invite to the wedding as well!

mischievouskttn's photo
Fri 04/10/09 08:20 PM
I have no warm and fuzzy advice, nor do I have any great best man speech ideas... I'm just popping in to be a pain in your ass.

Did you know that fear of public speaking is the #1 ranked fear worldwide.. even beating out fear of DEATH???

yeah man, good luck with that...










:tongue: You'll be great. You are smart, you are funny and gosh darn it people like you. :thumbsup:

Christinacospgs's photo
Fri 04/10/09 08:22 PM

I have no warm and fuzzy advice, nor do I have any great best man speech ideas... I'm just popping in to be a pain in your ass.

Did you know that fear of public speaking is the #1 ranked fear worldwide.. even beating out fear of DEATH???

yeah man, good luck with that...










:tongue: You'll be great. You are smart, you are funny and gosh darn it people like you. :thumbsup:


happy I agree. You will do great. I can help edit your final speech if you need any help with that - I do it all day! laugh

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