Topic: Starting to get scared
Dan99's photo
Tue 05/12/09 05:31 PM

Good job Dan, only you would think of starting a wedding speech with a gay joke laugh And you left sheep entirely out of it. But I always thought of you more as a depend-ant than a tax write off.....


haha! I didnt quite leave sheep out of it..the foot and mouth joke kinda refers to them!


Dan99's photo
Tue 05/12/09 05:33 PM


In just under two months i am gonna be the Best Man at my friends wedding.

Which, of course, means i have to try to write and perform a funny speech.

I intended to get the speech written ages ago, but except for a page of scribbles i made a while back, i have barely started.

I'm not OVERLY worried about the actual writing of the speech, i can be pretty humourous when i put my mind to it. Its the performing of the speech which concerns me the most. I have never had to do any significant public speaking before. There are going to be over 150 people at this wedding, so its hardly a small crowd.

So, any advice? Any stories?

Any decent lines i could use? I need a good opener if anyone has one.



Just go the Monty Python round and use a lot of "bollocks" and "crikey" and "blimey" in your speech. That'll go over well! laugh



Thats how i talk normally, i gotta make the speech slightly more special than that!

Dan99's photo
Tue 05/12/09 05:33 PM

It's wonderful!!! Funny, sweet and heartwarming! flowerforyou


Thats enough about you, what about the speech?!


no photo
Tue 05/12/09 05:35 PM


It's wonderful!!! Funny, sweet and heartwarming! flowerforyou


Thats enough about you, what about the speech?!




Oh..the speech...it sucked! :wink:





Thanks Dan! flowerforyou

s1owhand's photo
Tue 05/12/09 05:53 PM
Edited by s1owhand on Tue 05/12/09 06:00 PM
I'm predicting a ROUSING SUCCESS!

tngxl65's photo
Tue 05/12/09 05:53 PM
Very funny. I felt moved and dirty at the same time.


lonlytrucker's photo
Tue 05/12/09 05:54 PM
Oh hell Dan just be yourself.

Dan99's photo
Tue 05/12/09 06:39 PM

I'm predicting a ROUSING SUCCESS!



Thanks. Maybe as long as i dont stutter too much and dribble over the cake!

Dan99's photo
Tue 05/12/09 06:41 PM

Very funny. I felt moved and dirty at the same time.



Thanks, though i am sure thats how you feel everytime you sit on the loo!

Dan99's photo
Tue 05/12/09 06:41 PM

Oh hell Dan just be yourself.



Hmmmmm....

Masturbating was not on my to do list during the speech..


tngxl65's photo
Tue 05/12/09 07:39 PM


Oh hell Dan just be yourself.



Hmmmmm....

Masturbating was not on my to do list during the speech..




But it would certainly be memorable

msmyka's photo
Tue 05/12/09 07:42 PM
June 20th

<Maid of Honor (aka MOH)

Same Issue....


SO not looking forward to this slaphead

I've already been warned by her once not to say anything that will embarrass her.... Come on now, do I really look like I would do something like that? :angel:

Dan99's photo
Tue 05/12/09 07:46 PM

June 20th

<Maid of Honor (aka MOH)

Same Issue....


SO not looking forward to this slaphead

I've already been warned by her once not to say anything that will embarrass her.... Come on now, do I really look like I would do something like that? :angel:


Its your duty to embarrass her!

You can borrow anything you like from my speech! Not that it would be suitable.


msmyka's photo
Tue 05/12/09 07:47 PM
I was thinking about using your EXACT speech and confusing the heck out of everyone.

Dan99's photo
Tue 05/12/09 07:50 PM

I was thinking about using your EXACT speech and confusing the heck out of everyone.




Haha i think you should! Dont even change the names!

TxsGal3333's photo
Tue 05/12/09 07:57 PM
Hummmm okay here is my 2 cents worth whether ya want it or not. Hehe actually the speech was good but...........my opinion the only part I would leave out is this one...


I should probably talk a little about some of Nicks ex-girlfriends here, just to embarras him a little further. But luckily for him most of them have been wiped out by BSE and Foot and Mouth.


Of course it is your speech and you will obviously leave or take out what you wish just that part did not fit in with the rest and the ending was very good.:thumbsup:

tngxl65's photo
Tue 05/12/09 08:09 PM

Hummmm okay here is my 2 cents worth whether ya want it or not. Hehe actually the speech was good but...........my opinion the only part I would leave out is this one...


I should probably talk a little about some of Nicks ex-girlfriends here, just to embarras him a little further. But luckily for him most of them have been wiped out by BSE and Foot and Mouth.


Of course it is your speech and you will obviously leave or take out what you wish just that part did not fit in with the rest and the ending was very good.:thumbsup:


What's a good wedding speech without at least one beastiality reference?

TxsGal3333's photo
Tue 05/12/09 08:13 PM


Hummmm okay here is my 2 cents worth whether ya want it or not. Hehe actually the speech was good but...........my opinion the only part I would leave out is this one...


I should probably talk a little about some of Nicks ex-girlfriends here, just to embarras him a little further. But luckily for him most of them have been wiped out by BSE and Foot and Mouth.


Of course it is your speech and you will obviously leave or take out what you wish just that part did not fit in with the rest and the ending was very good.:thumbsup:


What's a good wedding speech without at least one beastiality reference?


Humm his speech is concerning the groom and taking jabs at him to me that one part just does not fit in. JMO Bad vibes to even mention old girlfriends at there wedding.noway whoa

But the rest of the speech is great to me..............:thumbsup:

msmyka's photo
Tue 05/12/09 08:37 PM


I was thinking about using your EXACT speech and confusing the heck out of everyone.




Haha i think you should! Dont even change the names!

rofl

Dan99's photo
Wed 05/13/09 12:21 AM


Hummmm okay here is my 2 cents worth whether ya want it or not. Hehe actually the speech was good but...........my opinion the only part I would leave out is this one...


I should probably talk a little about some of Nicks ex-girlfriends here, just to embarras him a little further. But luckily for him most of them have been wiped out by BSE and Foot and Mouth.


Of course it is your speech and you will obviously leave or take out what you wish just that part did not fit in with the rest and the ending was very good.:thumbsup:


What's a good wedding speech without at least one beastiality reference?


Haha i had to! lol

I dont see a problem with the line, im not actually mentioning any girlfriends. I think there is much worse in the speech! lol