Is it ever ok to lie to someone you claim to love?

Only if they start lying first.

I don't believe in lying, and don't want to be lied to.

I was married to a pathological liar, and never want to go
that route again.

Is it ever ok to lie to someone you claim to love?

I hid a few things from my X, and she from me. we were still married 38 years. Unfortunetly, she lied about the money she was spending and we went broke. Some lies we get by with, others kill us.

Draconians don't lie....

Sorry to hear that. I did some "white lies" myself, during ex's raging drunken episodes, heck, would have said or admitted to anything during those rages to keep from getting hit. I think most people do/have told some lies, but better to not lie as a rule. As in your case, it ended up costing you dearly. Mine, too, in the long run.

I did the drinking thing and everything that went with it--I was lucky and ended that problem in 1976 before my daughter was 3. My boy now 26 has never seen me take a drink. I lied allot in those days. I think i might know what you went through.

How do you know??

I did the drinking thing and everything that went with it--I was lucky and ended that problem in 1976 before my daughter was 3. My boy now 26 has never seen me take a drink. I lied allot in those days. I think i might know what you went through.

I know so... they would just eat you period... no lie and no ifs and buts...

Congratulations on changing your life. Your kids are lucky that they got to know the sober you.

Thanks--and my kids don't drink---thats the blessing!

Thanks--and my kids don't drink---thats the blessing!

You are lucky there. My daughter tried to follow in her dad's footsteps for a few years, took quite awhile for her to get her head straightened out. Divorced him when she was 5 and he was never a father to her, so lots of issues there. She has 2 kids now and is doing great. But what a bumpy road to get there -- wow!!!

Yes it is ok to lie to someone you love. In fact, sometimes I think you should avoid the truth at all costs.

Sometimes there are comforts in lies that cannot be found anywhere else. When my father was dying of cancer, he would routinely lie to my mother about how badly he was feeling to spare her the frustration and pain that the truth would have put her through.

Sometimes we need to lie about our feelings to bolster our partner. I remember going through a tough financial patch and telling my wife how it would be alright because I could feel it in my gut. A lie. But it made her feel a little bit better in a dark time. I feel no guilt in that.

I remember times when I was growing up that I did things I shouldn't have done. My father and I talked things out and I really learned my lessons from those talks. If my mother would ask what was going on, my father would tell her that he wasn't sure, but that she should give me the time and the space to work things out on my own. He wanted me to learn what I needed to know while protecting my privacy.

I think we should be careful about making blanket statements. ALWAYS telling the truth means that sometimes you will hurt the ones you love needlessly.