I'm not used to guys just pouring out their heart to me, I think I like it... but I'm not sure if I should be weary?

This guy I use to date a while back found me on facebook and since we have been back in contact he has been pouring out his heart to me about how he felt (still feels?) for me.

Back story: At the time I was 23 and he was 28, he had a very sick mother and not much time to try and make a relationship work. We liked each other very much but things never got serious as other things in life were taking precedence over us. When his mom passed he moved to TX but still comes back here all the time to visit his son. He never told me how he felt and really regretted it.... he's telling me now but I'm having a hard time taking it all in.

Now he lives in TX and as I said before visits my area on a regular basis... I figure if he was just trying to get some he would do that locally... should I be weary of this man pouring out his heart to me? Maybe I'm just not used to a guy who can express his feelings?

I'm at least going to see him next time he's here and see where things go

Did he just end a relationship with someone else?

Yup... marriage gone bad... but they have been done with each other for over a year.... not sure if thats what you mean by "just" ended.

Nothing wrong in being someones friend. Try being that first and see where things go. Sometimes people just need somone they can share with. Other then that, if you have anything to be concern about. It would be him being a little pushy and not taking time to actually get to know you.


Had to add this, if he just got out of a marrige, don't play the rebound.

Was searching for when his last relationship was.

Why, if all these feelings really existed, has he not figured out a way to contact you in the last year?


or did he happen to come across your facebook profile - which if you think about it, if he had this feelings he could have done anytime in the last year - did some old feelings spark themselves and maybe he is lonely right now.


The way it sounds - reeks of a lonely guy trying to smooth talk his way back into something.

Tough one to read from here.

Things I would consider are:

My biggest question would be about his emotional wellness. Has he had a semi-serious dating relationship since his marriage? Coming out of a marriage is very confusing emotionally and he could be a little confused with what he thinks he wants. If he's dated a few times and managed a relationship, he is more likely to be 'healed' and have a better idea of what he's looking for. But you would be the only one that could measure that... and even then it's pretty much a crapshoot. But if he's not had any relationships since his marriage I would doubt he is ready.

Are you (or he) willing to move? Or are you both willing to do the long distance thing? If not, there's a whole bunch of heartache ahead and I wouldn't want to invest emotionally knowing it was likely to be that way.

I know, this likely isn't news to you. But sometimes it's good to hear it from someone else.

Rebounding...beware. They are always very vulnerable and sensitive during this time.

Sometimes, we learn how to be honest.....

it's the most liberating thing we can do....

he is being honest, and sharing his feelings, exposing his vulnerabilities, and that is a huge gift someone can offer you....the trust that you won't harm or manipulate him.... you don't have to do anything...other than say thankyou.

If that is what you choose.


I would find this man to be someone I would want in my world, as a friend....I seek out people who can touch the rawness inside themselves, and have the courage to be honest about it..for they are authentic.


MsMyka, my ex, who is now my current, had to do the same work on himself, in his own time....he had to figure out what was right for him...reflect back over his life, and thankfully, recognised who it was that best suited him.

That didn't mean I had no choice in it...it just so happened we had both arrived at the same place at the same time.

Our relationship now, is quite different to the one we originally had, we are much more open, and more tolerant....we are now two 'grown ups' enjoying life....together.

I guess in all of this, I am asking you to reflect back, look at the inherant qualities of the man, you admired back then, then look at the man he is now, and see if you still find admiration for him....develop a friendship with him.... and see where it goes...

What's the worst that can happen? Two people being completely honest with their feelings, find they can have a loving and gentle friendship?

Could be that he just now has the time to divulge this information to you, and it could be that he never had thought of it before. The relationship ended, and he could very well be regretting never having told you how he truly felt.

Or, he could be manipulating the situation and using it to his advantage...though us men are rarely intelligent enough to manipulate such a grand situation and actually place it in our favor.

Depending on how you feel, make it known the relationship ended and it won't be regaining the footing it had before...or give it another shot. Personally I would go with just keeping the relationship gone and the going for possibility of friendship with him, nothing more.

Here's the deal with the marriage... it didn't even last 2 years... the last time I was with him was 4 years ago. I'm sure it was tramatic but it's not like it was a 20 year marriage... ya know?

I JUST signed up for FB last month however I'm sure he could have found me other ways.... I just dont know what to make of it all.

I will see him next time he's here and see how things pan out... I will keep you guys posted.

I think you are making it clear what you want it to be or how you want him to mean it.



But.



I would be weary.


You have to be.


Feel out the situation.


There are many positives that come out of someone trying to come back into your life- or finally opening up to you and revealing true feelings.

There are also men who - like the one said above- will manipulate a situation in a time of need.




Just have fun. But be weary.

Only you can decide where your comfort level is in this situation. Go with your gut instinct and if you find real love, how much better can it get than that. Just don't over-think it.

Of course I hope it is genuine but I need you guys, my mingle lovies to smack me in the head if you think theres a huge red flag waving

Something struck me as really funny...and I mean no disrespect....


I do it also...so am laughing at myself....



We ask advice, and feedback from people here...on relationships....with neighbours, partners, dates....


and yet 99.99% of the people are SINGLE!!!


Isn't that like taking your broken car to a bloke with a broken car and asking him how you fix it?


Aren't we mostly people who are NOT having successful relationships right now? Sharing our wisdom on how to have a relationship?

So true! But I'm sure some of us have had a somewhat successful relationship, even if it didnt last

I know! We're all nuts! But in a good way....

I'm single by choice, I don't really have a problem dating other than I don't want too.

Been single by choice for a while now. Don't have a problem getting dates or men to like me. I wanted to do some work on me so that is what I have been doing.

Go for it, I just hooked back up from a lady on here, we dated In high School and found out she only lives 2 miles from me!! Give it a try!!

they have been done with each other




If this means he is divorced, I say go for it!

If he is still married....danger, danger, Will Robinson!