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| Topic: Don't know what to do | |
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Hi Everyone.
I met a what I thought was a wonderful man about 3 months ago and I fell for him. It took me alot of years to get over my marriage break-up and he is the first one since that I let into my heart. I have never had a problem getting dates I just never met anyone that I wanted to date a 2nd time until now. We had planned on moving in together,his house. I was all packed, gave my apt notice that I was vacating and then he changes his mind. I just feel crushed. His house was his parents and is now owned by him and 2 siblings but he lives in the house. He tells me they were giving him a hard time because he hasn't known me that long. Yes this is true but I feel that life is short and when you have a chance of happiness you shoud grab it before it slips away. I just felt like we would be great together and I am a giving person so I know I would make him happy. I just think he used this as an excuse that he doesn't feel for me the way I do for him. I would think they would be happy for him. If this is the reason I think they are being selfish and if he really cared he would of stood up for us. He is a grown man and is letting them control his life. I just don't know what to do now. I moved to florida in feb from Pa and now my family want to send me money to come home. I told everyone that I was moving in with him and now I feel like a fool. Everyone says I shouldn't see him and I should move on that it was really low what he did but I can't stop feeling the way I do for him. I have been on the single sites and have been talking to a few men but I really don't want anyone else but him but feel like I should go out with other men before he hurts me again. He did tell me that he loves me but he was drinking at the time so I don't know if he meant it when he said it and have been waiting to see if he says again while being sober, he hasn't. |
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Hmmm...my partner has created a 'no property claim' on where I live, with a solicitor...
perhaps that is what the siblings are concerned with....ask him... it is easily solved. |
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In my experience, when a fella is drinking and says, I love you, he either doesnt remember it or regrets saying it if he remembers. Let the family help you and go back home. You dont have to feel like a fool. Feel like someone that just learned a hard lesson.
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You can't spend your time waiting for him to say or, do what you want him to. Go home and, move on..........with YOUR LIFE. Good luck and, I'm sorry this happened to you.
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Edited by
Winx
on
Wed 09/16/09 05:22 AM
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When someone tells you that they love you when they are drinking, it doesn't count.
I think that knowing somebody for three months isn't long enough to be moving in with them. |
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When someone tells you that they love you when they are drinking, it doesn't count. I think that knowing somebody for three months isn't long enough to be moving in with them. I agree. Count your blessings and go back to your family. No need to feel like a fool. Your family obviously loves you and we've all done things we shouldn't have for "love". |
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All you can do is take from this what you can use positively for the future. Nothing more. There are times when people feel a certain way and like it, and they delude themselves that it is more than it is. Perhaps this is what happened to your guy. He may have felt that he had to choose between you and his family, and that is never a good situation.
Move home, start over... and next time, well, just treat next time as different. Be a bit sager... but you went with your heart and that's not wrong. Don't have regrets. Don't let this situation keep you from finding the potential for love again. You deserve that. |
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To move in after three months?
DISASTER waiting! Jmo 
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Long post....didn't read it
Lilith is right but |
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3 months! you are willing to give up your whole life, your privacy and your independance for a guy who just told you that he loved you! Is that all it takes? In 3 months you cannot possibly know enough about him to dedicate your future. Why move in, it is quite possible to maintain a serious and intimate relationship with a man without 'shacking up'. Run girl, run and thank your lucky stars. You had heartbreak in your life, stop looking for more. Next time really get to know the guy AND HIS FAMILY. Sincere best wishes, there are decent men out there.
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I think this lady has said that to herself quite enough. Chastising her for her decision is hardly helpful at this point, isn't it?
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Hi Everyone. I met a what I thought was a wonderful man about 3 months ago and I fell for him. It took me alot of years to get over my marriage break-up and he is the first one since that I let into my heart. I have never had a problem getting dates I just never met anyone that I wanted to date a 2nd time until now. We had planned on moving in together,his house. I was all packed, gave my apt notice that I was vacating and then he changes his mind. I just feel crushed. His house was his parents and is now owned by him and 2 siblings but he lives in the house. He tells me they were giving him a hard time because he hasn't known me that long. Yes this is true but I feel that life is short and when you have a chance of happiness you shoud grab it before it slips away. I just felt like we would be great together and I am a giving person so I know I would make him happy. I just think he used this as an excuse that he doesn't feel for me the way I do for him. I would think they would be happy for him. If this is the reason I think they are being selfish and if he really cared he would of stood up for us. He is a grown man and is letting them control his life. I just don't know what to do now. I moved to florida in feb from Pa and now my family want to send me money to come home. I told everyone that I was moving in with him and now I feel like a fool. Everyone says I shouldn't see him and I should move on that it was really low what he did but I can't stop feeling the way I do for him. I have been on the single sites and have been talking to a few men but I really don't want anyone else but him but feel like I should go out with other men before he hurts me again. He did tell me that he loves me but he was drinking at the time so I don't know if he meant it when he said it and have been waiting to see if he says again while being sober, he hasn't. Well, quite a bind you got yourself in. First off I would say move back home, but that is really up to you. Second off I would say talk to him about it, eye to eye, face to face. After that? Listen to Haddaway. |
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Thanks to all that replied. I will think about what you all said. He is actually coming over tonight so I will talk to him and see if this is going to go anywhere and what he is feeling. I really don't want to go home (Phila) it is cold there during the winter lol
Thanks again |
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Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
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I fail to see the connection with moving and the relationship....??
You have been there since Feb. You have been dating 3 months..... Perhaps I missed something....but you Can stay...with or without him in your life....Right? Good luck. |
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But you still have an active profile on a dating site. Hedging your bets?
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Edited by
Monier
on
Wed 09/16/09 09:28 PM
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Thanks to all that replied. I will think about what you all said. He is actually coming over tonight so I will talk to him and see if this is going to go anywhere and what he is feeling. I really don't want to go home (Phila) it is cold there during the winter lol Thanks again Look, it's easy to say it was too quick etc, but the fact remains that you are both adults and you know what? You took a chance. Pat yourself on the back for that, many people are too afraid to do so. That is really living. Now that you have moved to his area, my advice is don't wait for his decisions. Make him tell you what he wants now, no games. You have already proved your intent to him. It sounds like he is now afraid of what he agreed to. He needs to Man Up. |
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Some people take advice, think on it, and then do something they can live with. Others get advice and follow whatever is said blindly. This guy listens to others and does what they say. You are so cool for acting and living with what you decide. Go back to Pa, stay, do whatever, and be proud you make the calls and live with however it plays out.
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First......shoot out all his windows with the biggest gun you can find and then shoot his car.......then shoot his tree!!!
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Never mind her. Canadians can't have guns.
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