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Topic: I need some serious advice.
mle0626's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:18 PM
Okay I'm gonna try to make this as short as possible. I've been on this site for only a few weeks and some of you may or may not know that I was planning to move to Fl. on the 26th of this month. My mother lives down there with other family of mine. Not to mention that they all live together. My mom has already taken my daughter down there (I'm in Tn.) by the way, so it would be easier for me to move. Now I have recently just made up with my ex (also my daughter's father, who my mother can not stand). Long story short I've decided I'm not ready to move to Florida and would like to stay here and work on MY family. I really do not know how to even go about explaining this to my mother without hurting her or dissapointing her. Any suggestions would be highly appreciated.

earthytaurus76's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:20 PM
Edited by earthytaurus76 on Mon 09/21/09 11:20 PM
Tell her the requirement for you to move, is if its with a guy youve known for a 2 weeks,- a month on the internet, and only if hes "really hung".

mle0626's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:22 PM
Yeah I don't really get that. It's my daughter's father and I've known him nine years and have been together with him for 4 years we just recently split last year hence the reason I was moving to Florida.

agbbieannie's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:24 PM
You sent your daughter away for a man??? i am confused. ???

mle0626's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:24 PM
I'm sure I could have gone into a lot more detail. Just not trying to waste alot of time. Just need to know from a mother's point of veiw how I can explain this to her without hurting her.

PacificStar48's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:24 PM
Custody is 90% Possession ESPECIALLY in a Grandparent friendly state like Florida. I would keep my mouth shut go get my kid and then tell you Mom what she is not going to want to hear and maybe you will not want to say if you just get down there and think with your brains

agbbieannie's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:25 PM
As a mother you abadoned your child............... think of your kid and not yourself.

mle0626's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:26 PM
No me and her dad have been broken up. My mother came to Tn and took my daughter back to florida with her so I could pack and get ready to move...plus come up with the money needed to make a move that big. I can't work and pay a babysitter especially with the hours that I work. My daughter has only been in Fl for two weeks and I'm still going to go pick her up on the 26th just not going to move down there with my mom like I had planned.

no photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:26 PM
Only thing you can do it to tell her the truth.

BUT.......will this be a positive move or a negative move for your daughter????

DonnieDarko's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:27 PM
well it will take lots of thought. but fist off make sure your child is in the best position that she can be in. its always best to put your children before anything else. if all is fine in that area then think about getting back with the father or ex. your going to have to weigh them against each other. which ever is better for you, your life, and your child is your best option.

mle0626's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:28 PM
I think that me and her dad are what's best for her. I did not abandon my child by any means. She is with my mother in Florida visiting. My mom is the greatest nana ever and a great mother she just doesn't have a high opinion of my daughter's dad or any man for that fact.

mle0626's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:29 PM

As a mother you abadoned your child............... think of your kid and not yourself.

I was thinking of my child. She has always and will always come first...please do not attack me as a parent without knowing the whole situation.

earthytaurus76's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:29 PM
Kids needing parents? wha?

Skism's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:30 PM
im neither a mother or a father but i know one thing you need to do what u think is right , 1st nothing you can tell your mom about this situation is going to make her not upset at you inless its im still moving. second if you have known him for 9 years and go out for 4 and have a child and you recently split for what ever reason you have to look at the obvious facts if it was worse enough to hence move to FL then its probly not a good idea to get back with that person just my opinion

no photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:30 PM
I think the truth will be your only option and how best to deal with your mother's reaction.

agbbieannie's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:31 PM

I'm sure I could have gone into a lot more detail. Just not trying to waste alot of time. Just need to know from a mother's point of veiw how I can explain this to her without hurting her.


as i say to many your thinking with the wrong brain if you have to ask its worng. think of your child.

earthytaurus76's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:33 PM
Edited by earthytaurus76 on Mon 09/21/09 11:33 PM
The only way your gonna be able to do this is if you comfort her, and tell her without sounding fearful, and being reassuring.

mle0626's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:33 PM

im neither a mother or a father but i know one thing you need to do what u think is right , 1st nothing you can tell your mom about this situation is going to make her not upset at you inless its im still moving. second if you have known him for 9 years and go out for 4 and have a child and you recently split for what ever reason you have to look at the obvious facts if it was worse enough to hence move to FL then its probly not a good idea to get back with that person just my opinion

Well the original split was a mutual one. We were both actually planning to move to Florida at the same time. Not to be together but so he could still be close to his daughter. We have always gotten along great whether we were together or not. But he changed his mind about moving b/c of a job offer. I really don't want to be in Florida without him. And I really don't want my daughter to be without him. I just don't want my mom to think less of me for not sticking to my original plan to move down there.

DonnieDarko's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:33 PM
i didnt mean to imply that you abandoned your daughter. sorry. but when my parents got divorced my grandmother made sure that the two of them focused on giving me a good life and not fighting. and if your mother wont approve of any man still listen to her harsh opinion. she will notice all of their flaws and you have to decide if those flaws dont out weigh your love.

PacificStar48's photo
Mon 09/21/09 11:33 PM

im neither a mother or a father but i know one thing you need to do what u think is right , 1st nothing you can tell your mom about this situation is going to make her not upset at you inless its im still moving. second if you have known him for 9 years and go out for 4 and have a child and you recently split for what ever reason you have to look at the obvious facts if it was worse enough to hence move to FL then its probly not a good idea to get back with that person just my opinion


GIVE this GUY a Gold Star Very ON TARGET ADVICE.

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