No I dont agree. I trust myself, but I dont trust other guys. I wouldnt have a girl move in with me unless she was my GF already because I know what would happen

oh really

Okay, so I just finished talking to my dad. He was calm, but he did say he disapproved. He said if I had came to them early and discussed my situation, I wouldn't have gotten an ear full. But my main reason on not coming to them was that I knew they will still disapprove. My head is hurting so bad right now. I feel bad. I do. But I don't have a problem moving in with this guy. I'm supposed to talk to my dad later. I'm sure him and my mom are going to have a long discussion. I'm sure my mom will say she's not happy and wants me to come home. What am I supposed to do about that? I mean...really? It's the holiday season too. Not good. I did call the guy up and told him what was going on. I guess we are going to see what happens next now. Besides, it's not like I'm moving in with an older man! No comment on that one...that's another story (within the family).

There's a lock on the door...I will use it.

heres the thing.. i think you need to show them that you are grown up and can make your own decisions... once they see this they will get over it and continue to watch you grow... but u are 26! time to grow.. past time actually...when i raised my kids.. i knew my job was to teach them the things so they could survive on their own, till then my job wasnt done... i wont always be here you know? i am not there and do not really know what is going on here only you do... and them... now im 46 my brother is 44.. he lives with my mom! unreal mooches off of her anyhow here is an example for you.. she calls me today and says my brother snuck out last night i said huh mom? he is 44 yrs old not 12! heck i can go somewhere for a week and not tell her where i go.. and she doesnt call that sneaking out lmao! why i ask myself? well answer is i showed her i am plenty capeable of living on my own and making my own decisions because i do what i want to do anyway...i am adult.. this is what u will have to do as well, from what i hear... seems your parents are like my mom is lol!! i hope u dont want to be "sneaking out when u are 44! lol

Thanks. I wouldn't have left yet. I still have a process with the military. My parents have been in the military. They know the process. It takes awhile...you don't automatically go right in. When a job is available in your field, the military will take you in. So really, I may live with the guy longer than a few months. Temporarily I told them. But they said they rather temporarily be with them. Understandable, but I still want my independence.

You're right Mirror. But I'm not their only daughter. I know how my parents feel. If I was younger, I wouldn't do this. Aug! My head!

tell your parents you respect them, as you obviously do. but ask them to also respect you in making your own decisions.. that sometimes you would like to take their advice but sometimes you want to grow up and make decisions for yourself with all the knowledge and info that you have...

Do you live in South Carolina? If so...okay. But then my parents are going to ask how I know you...then I'd say online...then they'll say "no". *Sigh*

Hmm, you'd be surprised. If I find my parents forcing me home, this would be very interesting. But really, I know my guy friend wouldn't want trouble between me and my parents. I would hope he can find another roommate that will help make paying his bills a little easier...if it would come to where I "have" to move back home.

EXACTLY!!!!!! what she said!!! say that!!!

they really are going to have to let you make this decision- if you move back home they will monitor your every move- you know that right? just be calm and rational and explain how you feel and while you respect them- they are done raising you and you will always be their daughter- you are a grown woman- capable of living her own life and you are going to do this- whereas you want them to approve- you are ok if they disapprove also- you are not going to be able to make them happy all the time- you are a different person than they are. it will be ok!!

From what I'm reading I am guessing that you and your parents have the kind of relationship where they are more involved in helping you to make decisions than some others may be. You respect them and you allow them to help guide you, even at 26 years old. There is nothing wrong with this, however since it has always been the pattern, it will be hard for them to deal with you doing something they don't approve of. Now will be the time you get to either go against the grain or continue to allow them to sway your decisions. There have been many times when my parents could have done an "I told you so" to me, but they didn't. I learned from my mistakes. That's sort of how we grow up. If you feel safe in living with this guy and sharing room and board, then it's now up to you to decide if it's worth it to take the stance on your own. Just remember that once you start it, you can't go backwards.

You can always say to your parents "I value your advise, but I've weighed the pros and cons and sharing expenses with my friend will allow me to keep my independence until I'm called for the military". This way, you don't leave the door open for more discussion about it. The less drama you create about the situation, the more respect they will give back to you.

That said, don't you have a girlfriend you can move in with?.... (spoken like a parent....hehe)

Good Luck!

They want to make sure that I have enough money to pay my bills. I will live there for free! But I will still pay them something. I don't want to go home and live for free. That was why I was looking for a second job. I would still look for a second job if I was back home. But yeah, I'm going to see how this works out.

HAHA..others have said the same thing as I was letting the dog out.....
Sorry to be a repeater!

I'm taking in everything you are saying. I agree wholeheartedly. My parents have let me make my own decisions only because my decisions were reasonable. But now that I make this decision, it's now a big issue. I told my dad I respect them and wish they trust me and my decision. It's weird saying that to my dad because my dad and I are close. And I do wish I had a girlfriend I could room with. But I don't have too many friends...and most of them are settled.

Personally I think your plan has disaster written all over it.

This potential room mate has already proven he is not a good money manager. That is just what you need getting stuck with someone elses money problems to worry you while trying to get through bootcamp.

Since people tend to be a little reckless just before going to the service the chances that this arrangement is NOT going to be strictly plutonic is very good. Just what you don't need on your work record; geting pregnant and washing out of the service.

Since it is not like you are moving back home permanently I don't see the big deal in being home during the happy time of your sister's wedding unless you are just jealouse of her getting the special attention that a sibling get prepareing for a wedding gets.

Since once you get in the service you may have a really tough time getting out or at least getting back home for a very long time I would think you would want to spend the precious time you have with parents and siblings. If your parents are even twenty years older than you are things can happen to them. My Mom died of cancer at only 56. My son, in the Navy and a parent, can't afford flying home often. The likely hood you will meet and marry another service member is high so coming home again is probably a long range proposition.

Since you obviousely care about your parents feelings and this is not something they feel proud of I can't see doing something that is really meaningless gesture. This guy is not someone significant in your life. Kind of like a rebel with out a cause. You have already proved you are independent living with a girlfriend and chooseing a career in the military. When you are setting alone somewhere doing guard duty do you want to be thinking about dissappointing your parents? Or making their stress level worse when it is already high enough. Sounds like you have nice parents to me. Being considerate of the people you love is a sign of maturity.

You're okay.

im wondering here if it really is your parents.. or you kind of questioning yourself... think about this.. maybe you should talk to your parents tomorrow and take time to think... is it me? am i really ready to be independant? i know i want to be.. should i still let my parents make my decisions for me when im 26? cause they always have done this for me and what will i do when i dont let them make decisions for me?.... really i think before u talk to them you should figure these things out... best of luck